Skip to main content

Origin of Gods



Scripture

In the beginning was a chimpanzee. She gave birth to two daughters.  One daughter followed the rules of the tribe’s game and gave birth to more chimpanzees.  The other one rebelled and gave birth to a creature whom the traditional conservative devout chimpanzees called a monster.  The monster grew up and called himself man.

Man. Man was a narcissist as all rebels turned out to be eventually.  Man loved to be worshipped.  So he conquered everything.  Whatever he could.  But he called it everything.  When he killed the creeping reptiles and ate it he thought he was the lord of the universe.  So he created a god in his image and made the creeping serpent the devil.  The devil came in his scriptures to offer an apple to the woman.  The woman had to be subjugated.  She was demanding too much.  Especially with the protruding belly all the time.

Man hunted. Woman cooked and delivered.  Delivered real babies.  Man killed, woman produced life.  Life is pain.  Pain is reality.

Man is inventive.  He created the painkiller called god.   The best painkiller.  A painkiller that continues to be effective even to this day.  Some five million years after its birth.

God took millions of avatars.  My avatar is the cow.

I worship thee holy cow I fall at thy udder I suck your blood and call you god it’s not your milk that I want I want your blood I am a blood sucker I worship thee I suck your blood I don’t want your milk I want blood I am a bhakt I am a bhakt I am a bhakt

PS. Repeat I am a bhakt three times everyday in front of a cow that's eating plastic at the garbage dump nearest to you, for attaining moksha. 

Comments

  1. parwatisingariJune 1, 2017 at 7:48 AM

    Tomichan there is aKannada poetry that talks of the numerous ways the cow is useful to the earth and with each use it asks the Man, who has benefited from you. I wish i could share the original kannada.
    As for this beef about Beef, cow dung is holy and bullshit is not!
    liked your writing am sharing it on FB and Google.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalJune 1, 2017 at 5:23 PM

      Thanks, Sharmila.

      It is easy to play power games as long as they are supported by a myth. The cow finds that particular use in today's politics in our country.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Adventures of Toto as a comic strip

  'The Adventures of Toto' is an amusing story by Ruskin Bond. It is prescribed as a lesson in CBSE's English course for class 9. Maggie asked her students to do a project on some of the lessons and Femi George's work is what I would like to present here. Femi converted the story into a beautiful comic strip. Her work will speak for itself and let me present it below.  Femi George Student of Carmel Public School, Vazhakulam, Kerala Similar post: The Little Girl
47 comments
Read more

The Little Girl

The Little Girl is a short story by Katherine Mansfield given in the class 9 English course of NCERT. Maggie gave an assignment to her students based on the story and one of her students, Athena Baby Sabu, presented a brilliant job. She converted the story into a delightful comic strip. Mansfield tells the story of Kezia who is the eponymous little girl. Kezia is scared of her father who wields a lot of control on the entire family. She is punished severely for an unwitting mistake which makes her even more scared of her father. Her grandmother is fond of her and is her emotional succour. The grandmother is away from home one day with Kezia's mother who is hospitalised. Kezia gets her usual nightmare and is terrified. There is no one at home to console her except her father from whom she does not expect any consolation. But the father rises to the occasion and lets the little girl sleep beside him that night. She rests her head on her father's chest and can feel his heart...
18 comments
Read more

The RSS does not exist

An organisation that has 80,000 branches in India does not exist legally in any document. This is the cover story of The Caravan this month. By the way, The Caravan is one of the very few publications that still continues to exist in spite of being overtly critical of Narendra Modi and his Sangh Parivar. The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) is not registered as an organisation under any of the usual Indian registration laws such as the Societies Registration Act or as a trust or company. It functions as an unregistered voluntary organisation, though it is arguably the largest public organisation in the country. This situation makes the organisation absolutely unaccountable to anyone, argues The Caravan . The RSS is not legally required to file annual returns to the Tax department or disclose its financial details publicly though it deals with thousands of crores of rupees every year especially after Modi became the Prime Minister of the country. The membership of the organisat...
13 comments
Read more

No Problems Only Opportunities

You’ve probably heard this joke. A young man walked into his office one morning and found a beautiful young lady sitting in his chair. He called the MD and said, “Sir, I have a problem.” The MD replied, “Don’t you know our company’s motto, young man? No Problems, Only Opportunities .” When Suchita of The Blogchatter sent me a mail with the topic of this week’s blog hop –  - the first thing that came to my mind was the above joke. I know many people – too many, in fact – who went through terrible problems. My own life was a series of problems in none of which was there the consolation of any beautiful woman. One essential lesson I learnt from life is that life is a series of problems. You solve one and then arises the next one. Now I have reached an age when problems are no more problems: they are life itself. If you ask me what was the biggest problem I ever dealt with, it was my last years in Shillong. I was a lecturer in a college drawing a fat salary stipulated by the U...
15 comments
Read more

Akbar the Brutal

When I was in school, I was taught that Akbar was a great emperor. ‘Akbar the Great’ was the title of the lesson on him. That was how the emperor was described in history in those days. Now the grade 8 history textbook calls that same man Akbar the Brutal . A lot of efforts are being made to rewrite India’s history. All Muslims are evil in that new history. In fact, everyone except Hindus stands the chance of being accused of much evil. It is sheer coincidence that I started reading Manu S Pillai’s new book, Gods, Guns and Missionaries , soon after reading newspaper reports about the alleged brutality of the Mughals. In the very first chapter, Pillai presents Akbar as a serious spiritual seeker as well as advocate of religious tolerance. Pillai’s knowledge of history is vast if the 218 pages of Notes in the book are any indication. Chapter 1, titled ‘Monsters and Missionaries’, starts with three Jesuit missionaries led by Rodolfo Acquaviva visiting Akbar on a personal invitatio...
8 comments
Read more