Skip to main content

Me with my foot in my mouth




My foot has this uncanny proclivity to get into my mouth whenever I am at a social event.  That’s why I took much effort to teach my feet to walk away from social events altogether.  Some heels were born to cool themselves in the cosiness of solipsism (or should I say sole-ipsism?). 

Source: Clarity Solutions
I have kept me to myself for nearly two decades now.  Like Ogden Nash’s Born Spectator, I stay far away from the field of action and watch with admiration socialites performing various acrobatics in order to win their much deserved accolades.  When it comes to the battle between the ego and prudence, the latter wins hands down in my case.

A few years ago, when I was in Delhi, a blogger from Indiblogger connection, a lady who wasn’t very active as a blogger, organised a bloggers’ meet in Delhi and sent me a personal invitation.  I was rather surprised because never in my blog anywhere at any time had I shown any interest in such meetings.  But I decided to conceal my surprise as well as keep my foot away from my mouth.  I gave her the excuse of a prior engagement.  Within 24 hours, the good lady changed the date of the meeting and offered to hold it any day that was convenient for me.  I knew something was seriously wrong. 

One of the blights I had to fight again and again in my life, without much success, is keeping benefactors away from my doorstep.  They came in hoards especially when I lived in Shillong, a small town with all the inconveniences of a village with none of its benefits.  Most of them benefactors were keen on making me religious.  The more they tried, the more I hated religion.  Eventually I quit the countryside benefactors of Shillong and found my shelter in the anonymity of Delhi’s vastness.  When a blogger who never even commented once in my space insisted on having me at a bloggers’ meet, I knew that benefactors were at it again. 

I now live in a small village in Kerala.  Mercifully the benefactors have left me alone until now.  It’s not easy to play the benefactor-game in too small a village where people know each other too well.  Too many games will reveal the identity of the godfather who pays the benefactors.  The village thus keeps me safely away from benefactors. 

Probably, I wouldn’t have detested the society if it were not for the benefactors and their godfather.  I have seen a lot of people who are comfortable with both their feet in their mouth.  Maybe, it’s not my foot that is the real problem.  Maybe, I’m bored with the benefactors who never revealed any trace of imagination. 

PS. Written for Indispire Edition 176: #CityEvent





Comments

  1. Pranju chakrapaniJuly 3, 2017 at 12:22 PM

    The favourite part in the Catcher in the rye was when Holden meets his English teacher at the end. I liked the teacher very much.

    He said something to Holden regarding how it is essential to identify the capacity of one's brain to sink in the information. I relate so much with that thought.

    To not put foot in the mouth is the sign of realizing that capacity. It is after all a matter of personal happiness and if we find it through solipsism then it is equally okay :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalJuly 3, 2017 at 1:41 PM

      Holden's creator, Salinger, chose to quit the society. Holden will be a social misfit whatever he does, whatever his counsellor may do.

      Our personal happiness need have nothing much to do with the society. In fact, the society is more likely to make us unhappy. I keep my cheer by being as far away from society as possible.

      Delete
  2. Roma Gupta SinhaJuly 3, 2017 at 1:07 PM

    Sometimes I behave this weird too. Has it got something to do with us writers??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalJuly 3, 2017 at 1:43 PM

      Writers are weird. But there are writers who walk that tightrope between personal weirdness and social adjustment quite easily. Some of us are condemned to be weirdos, perhaps :)

      Delete
  3. DominicJuly 3, 2017 at 6:58 PM

    Why are you so pessimistic about society? Why should the society make one unhappy? Many are the minds that draw their inspiration and subsistence from the society.
    If man is expected to be a social animal, some modicum of pretense and subjugation of one's ego will go a long way in making the social intercourse (with apologies to CBFC) 'happy' and enjoyable!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalJuly 3, 2017 at 7:36 PM

      You said it! And it made me write the next post. The ecstasies of social intercourse are the prerogative of God's chosen people.

      Delete
  4. Purba chakrabortyJuly 3, 2017 at 7:29 PM

    I can relate to this post as I have also landed myself in such foot-in-my-mouth situations a couple of times. It was great reading this post, Sir :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalJuly 3, 2017 at 7:34 PM

      Most welcome, Purba. Maybe, we the foot-in-the-mouth people should form an association for our welfare :)

      Delete
  5. Gomati SekharJuly 4, 2017 at 10:21 AM

    Like always, enjoyed reading your blog. Looking forward to the next.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Adventures of Toto as a comic strip

  'The Adventures of Toto' is an amusing story by Ruskin Bond. It is prescribed as a lesson in CBSE's English course for class 9. Maggie asked her students to do a project on some of the lessons and Femi George's work is what I would like to present here. Femi converted the story into a beautiful comic strip. Her work will speak for itself and let me present it below.  Femi George Student of Carmel Public School, Vazhakulam, Kerala Similar post: The Little Girl
47 comments
Read more

The Little Girl

The Little Girl is a short story by Katherine Mansfield given in the class 9 English course of NCERT. Maggie gave an assignment to her students based on the story and one of her students, Athena Baby Sabu, presented a brilliant job. She converted the story into a delightful comic strip. Mansfield tells the story of Kezia who is the eponymous little girl. Kezia is scared of her father who wields a lot of control on the entire family. She is punished severely for an unwitting mistake which makes her even more scared of her father. Her grandmother is fond of her and is her emotional succour. The grandmother is away from home one day with Kezia's mother who is hospitalised. Kezia gets her usual nightmare and is terrified. There is no one at home to console her except her father from whom she does not expect any consolation. But the father rises to the occasion and lets the little girl sleep beside him that night. She rests her head on her father's chest and can feel his heart...
18 comments
Read more

The Vegetarian

Book Review Title: The Vegetarian Author: Han Kang Translator: Deborah Smith [from Korean] Publisher: Granta, London, 2018 Pages: 183 Insanity can provide infinite opportunities to a novelist. The protagonist of Nobel laureate Han Kang’s Booker-winner novel, The Vegetarian , thinks of herself as a tree. One can argue with ample logic and conviction that trees are far better than humans. “Trees are like brothers and sisters,” Yeong-hye, the protagonist, says. She identifies herself with the trees and turns vegetarian one day. Worse, she gives up all food eventually. Of course, she ends up in a mental hospital. The Vegetarian tells Yeong-hye’s tragic story on the surface. Below that surface, it raises too many questions that leave us pondering deeply. What does it mean to be human? Must humanity always entail violence? Is madness a form of truth, a more profound truth than sanity’s wisdom? In the disturbing world of this novel, trees represent peace, stillness, and nonviol...
6 comments
Read more

The RSS does not exist

An organisation that has 80,000 branches in India does not exist legally in any document. This is the cover story of The Caravan this month. By the way, The Caravan is one of the very few publications that still continues to exist in spite of being overtly critical of Narendra Modi and his Sangh Parivar. The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS) is not registered as an organisation under any of the usual Indian registration laws such as the Societies Registration Act or as a trust or company. It functions as an unregistered voluntary organisation, though it is arguably the largest public organisation in the country. This situation makes the organisation absolutely unaccountable to anyone, argues The Caravan . The RSS is not legally required to file annual returns to the Tax department or disclose its financial details publicly though it deals with thousands of crores of rupees every year especially after Modi became the Prime Minister of the country. The membership of the organisat...
12 comments
Read more

No Problems Only Opportunities

You’ve probably heard this joke. A young man walked into his office one morning and found a beautiful young lady sitting in his chair. He called the MD and said, “Sir, I have a problem.” The MD replied, “Don’t you know our company’s motto, young man? No Problems, Only Opportunities .” When Suchita of The Blogchatter sent me a mail with the topic of this week’s blog hop –  - the first thing that came to my mind was the above joke. I know many people – too many, in fact – who went through terrible problems. My own life was a series of problems in none of which was there the consolation of any beautiful woman. One essential lesson I learnt from life is that life is a series of problems. You solve one and then arises the next one. Now I have reached an age when problems are no more problems: they are life itself. If you ask me what was the biggest problem I ever dealt with, it was my last years in Shillong. I was a lecturer in a college drawing a fat salary stipulated by the U...
13 comments
Read more