Skip to main content

Vocation

 Fiction


Sister Angela decided to leave her religious calling and life in the convent.

“What makes you feel that you have no vocation?” asked her Mother Superior for the umpteenth time.  ‘Vocation’ in the Catholic parlance meant ‘God’s call to be a nun or a priest.’

Angela understood that she would not be granted dispensation from her religious vows unless she gave her reason for stepping out of the religious habit.  She wanted love, she said candidly.  Not the kind of abstract, spiritual love that Jesus and Mary and the hundreds of saints offered her copiously.  She wanted real, human love. 

Mother Superior was shocked.  How could a woman who had been donning the religious habit for about a decade desire such a demeaning thing as human love with all its vulgar passions and filthy acts and filthier body fluids?

It was now Angela’s turn to be shocked.  She had not meant sex when she said love.  Why did the Mother’s thoughts go in that direction?  Angela wondered.

Whenever she thought of love, it was the face of Johnny that rose in her heart.  Jesus had been superseded by Johnny. 

“Johnny who?” asked Mother Superior contemptuously.  “You don’t mean that silly young man teaching in our school?”

Angela merely looked at Mother, helplessly and not without feelings of guilt.  She felt as if she had committed a series of fornications with Johnny.  Hadn’t Jesus said that whoever looked at a woman with lust in his heart had already committed adultery with her?  Didn’t this apply to women as well?

No, no.  I committed no such grave sin, she said to herself.  It’s his smile that I want.  Childlike smile.  It’s his company and the conversations he leads me into.  Conversations about writers and their books, ideas and questions.

“He is just a philanderer, Angela,” said Mother Superior.  “People like him cannot love anybody except themselves.  If he engages you in conversations, it is because you flatter him by being his ardent listener.  Childlike smile, you said.  Yes, he is a child at heart.  Immature and silly.  Childish, not childlike...”

Angela knew that the Mother was not entirely wrong in her judgment.  Even she had felt time and again that Johnny had no feelings of love towards her. 

Mother Superior spent a few hours trying to make Angela understand the folly of her decision.  But Angela was adamant; she wanted love, human love.

Finally Mother Superior understood that Angela’s decision was irrevocable.  “Remember one thing, however,” said the Mother in conclusion, “human love is far more complex and demanding than divine love.”

Then came a very practical suggestion from the Mother.  “Why don’t you invite Johnny here tomorrow?  Say that you have something important to tell him.” 

The Mother advised her to appear before Johnny just after taking a bath.  Wear a skirt and blouse.  Let him see a part of your lovely body.  Stir the man in him.  Tell him with all your feminine charm that you are leaving religious life in quest of human love.  And see how he responds. 

Angela thought it good advice.  She did just what the Mother suggested.

Johnny listened to her with his usual childlike smile.  “I wish you all the best.  I’m sure you will find genuine human love...”

Human love is indeed very complex, reflected Angela as she watched Johnny walk away having said his good bye.




Comments

  1. A thought provoking post indeed!
    Very well written.:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Human Love is indeed Complex..For Some it may be Lust,for some may be pleasure and for some may be life...But it is really hard to define or see how Human Love is interpreted by Humans..

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nice one sir. It has undertones of your past or present struggles to overcome the shackles of orthodoxy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, Sid, a part of me is there in the story: both past and present.

      Delete
  4. How wrong the mother was!!! Loved the story. Wish it was a bit longer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I too wanted to make it a little longer. But my time is limited.

      Delete
  5. Human love builds expectations, whereas divine love surrenders to the loved one. I wonder if Johny was really so clueless!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Johnny was as clueless as a child. Angela was as idealistic as an angel.

      Delete
    2. No, Vinaya, I must correct myself: not "idealistic" but "pure"

      Delete
  6. The ending is perfect. Though I had read this yesterday or the day before, I kept wondering all this while what she had done (what she should have done) after he walked away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If the ending made you wonder that way, then the story is a success. Thank you, Jeena, for telling me that. After all, the character in a story are merely shadows. Their ultimate purpose and value lie in what they make the readers think.

      Delete
  7. So, what happened to Angela? Did she leave the religion?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did she have any other choice, Pankti?

      Delete
    2. I firmly believe we always have a choice. Not making a choice is also a choice.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Florentino’s Many Loves

Florentino Ariza has had 622 serious relationships (combo pack with sex) apart from numerous fleeting liaisons before he is able to embrace the only woman whom he loved with all his heart and soul. And that embrace happens “after a long and troubled love affair” that lasted 51 years, 9 months, and 4 days. Florentino is in his late 70s when he is able to behold, and hold as well, the very body of his beloved Fermina, who is just a few years younger than him. She now stands before him with her wrinkled shoulders, sagged breasts, and flabby skin that is as pale and cold as a frog’s. It is the culmination of a long, very long, wait as far as Florentino is concerned, the end of his passionate quest for his holy grail. “I’ve remained a virgin for you,” he says. All those 622 and more women whose details filled the 25 diaries that he kept writing with meticulous devotion have now vanished into thin air. They mean nothing now that he has reached where he longed to reach all his life. The

The Adventures of Toto as a comic strip

  'The Adventures of Toto' is an amusing story by Ruskin Bond. It is prescribed as a lesson in CBSE's English course for class 9. Maggie asked her students to do a project on some of the lessons and Femi George's work is what I would like to present here. Femi converted the story into a beautiful comic strip. Her work will speak for itself and let me present it below.  Femi George Student of Carmel Public School, Vazhakulam, Kerala Similar post: The Little Girl

Unromantic Men

Romance is a tenderness of the heart. That is disappearing even from the movies. Tenderness of heart is not a virtue anymore; it is a weakness. Who is an ideal man in today’s world? Shakespeare’s Romeo and Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay’s Devdas would be considered as fools in today’s world in which the wealthiest individuals appear on elite lists, ‘strong’ leaders are hailed as nationalist heroes, and success is equated with anything other than traditional virtues. The protagonist of Colleen McCullough’s 1977 novel, The Thorn Birds [which sold more than 33 million copies], is torn between his idealism and his natural weaknesses as a human being. Ralph de Bricassart is a young Catholic priest who is sent on a kind of punishment-appointment to a remote rural area of Australia where the Cleary family arrives from New Zealand in 1921 to take care of the enormous estate of Mary Carson who is Paddy Cleary’s own sister. Meggy Cleary is the only daughter of Paddy and Fiona who have eight so

Octlantis

I was reading an essay on octopuses when friend John walked in. When he is bored of his usual activities – babysitting and gardening – he would come over. Politics was the favourite concern of our conversations. We discussed politics so earnestly that any observer might think that we were running the world through the politicians quite like the gods running it through their devotees. “Octopuses are quite queer creatures,” I said. The essay I was reading had got all my attention. Moreover, I was getting bored of politics which is irredeemable anyway. “They have too many brains and a lot of hearts.” “That’s queer indeed,” John agreed. “Each arm has a mind of its own. Two-thirds of an octopus’s neurons are found in their arms. The arms can taste, touch, feel and act on their own without any input from the brain.” “They are quite like our politicians,” John observed. Everything is linked to politics in John’s mind. I was impressed with his analogy, however. “Perhaps, you’re r

Yesterday

With students of Carmel Margaret, are you grieving / Over Goldengrove unleaving…? It was one of my first days in the eleventh class of Carmel Public School in Kerala, the last school of my teaching career. One girl, whose name was not Margaret, was in the class looking extremely melancholy. I had noticed her for a few days. I didn’t know how to put the matter over to her. I had already told the students that a smiling face was a rule in the English class. Since Margaret didn’t comply, I chose to drag Hopkins in. I replaced the name of Margaret with the girl’s actual name, however, when I quoted the lines. Margaret is a little girl in the Hopkins poem. Looking at autumn’s falling leaves, Margaret is saddened by the fact of life’s inevitable degeneration. The leaves have to turn yellow and eventually fall. And decay. The poet tells her that she has no choice but accept certain inevitabilities of life. Sorrow is our legacy, Margaret , I said to Margaret’s alter ego in my class. Let