Bottom and Titania in a Multiplex
Bottom had walked into the
multiplex for window-shopping. The
centralised air-conditioning in the multiplex was a joyful relief from the
scorching heat in the city’s overcrowded open spaces. Moreover, he could gratify his voyeuristic
inclination by looking at the legs or cleavages of the pretty fairies that
wafted coquettishly around with mobile phones clinging to their ears like
earrings and chocobars slipping through their velveteen lips.
Though he imagined the girls as fairies Bottom didn’t really believe
that fairies existed. So when he was
approached by Titania, the fairy queen herself, his surprise was quite
palpable. But, like most twenty-first
century boys (and girls, of course), he knew how to tackle any odd situation in
life and so he overcame his surprise sooner than any person from another period
of human history would.
Titania had just woken up from a sleep. But her mind was still under the influence of
the overdose of the sex pill she had had earlier. The first man she saw as she woke up was
Bottom. Yes, she was sleeping in the multiplex.
Fairies can sleep anywhere. In the olden times they used to sleep in the
cool shade of trees in some jungle. When
jungles started disappearing fairies faced the threat of extinction like the
Indian tigers. However, unlike the
Indian tigers, the fairies discovered appropriate places for survival – the
air-conditioned multiplex, for instance. So there she was, Titania, with all
her attendant bevy of fairy maids. She
saw Bottom sitting absolutely relaxed on one of the chairs on the third floor
of the multiplex, watching the girls on the ever-flowing escalators, with his
legs stretched out as far as they would go.
“You look fabulously handsome, young man. I’m bowled over.”
Bottom looked at the beautiful but odd and tiny creature standing
before him, then at the other creatures who accompanied her, and again at the
speaker. By the time his gaze travelled so much he had overcome his
surprise.
“Yeah, no wonder you’re bowled over.
I had a lot of girlfriends at school, you know. You are also
welcome. One more won’t make much
difference.”
“You are as wise as you are handsome.”
“Well, you know, I think I’ve seen you somewhere earlier.”
He must have seen her in his fairy tale books which he used to read
long ago.
“Ask me whatever you wish and my maids will attend to your wishes
instantly.”
Quite strange, thought Bottom.
But like most boys (and girls, of course) of his time he knew how to
rise to the occasion. “Okay, I want my
parents to stop peering into my room to check what I’m doing with my laptop.”
“Do you really want that, dear?” asked Titania, though she was under
the spell of the sex pill.
“You said you could get me anything. Get me this and prove
yourself.”
“But...” hesitated Titania. She was not as quick as the new
generation lover of hers.
“Alright, darling. I’m
paralysing your parents. They won’t ever
walk anymore.” Fairies belonged to an
ancient period. For them curse and
blessing were all a once and for all thing.
They were not aware of multitasking or part-time jobs, for example. Eternity does not understand calendars.
“Where are you going so soon, darling? Sit with me, play with me,
dance with me…” pleaded Titania under the influence of the sex pill and also the ignorance about human nature.
“You think I’m nuts? Bye, see you, ta ta... I just want to make sure
that they are indeed paralysed.”
The shock of base ingratitude was too much even for the hangover of
the sex pills. When the hangover took an
unexpectedly earlier leave of her, Titania realised what a fool she had been
making of herself.
“This is the problem of deforestation,” she mumbled to herself as
she went in search of Oberon who might be flirting with some dunce with hair
dyed in brilliant colours in another part of the multiplex.
[ Smiles ] Well, it was certainly an enjoyable read.
ReplyDeleteWell, Renard
DeleteGosh Sir! An intellectual spoof indeed. Very real and believable.
ReplyDeleteImagine Bottom not protesting & rather going to check if his parents are really paralyzed...
Forests replaced with Concrete Jungles. And innocent fairies now under the effect of harmful pills...
Thanks, Anita, for your patience to understand my stories.
DeleteAn interesting spoof! Really funny!
ReplyDeleteGlad you liked it.
Delete