Skip to main content

Give yourself another chance

 

From Forbes


There are far too many people who think they are sane. 800,000 people commit suicide every year in the world, according to WHO. That is, in every 40 seconds somebody is choosing death voluntarily in our world. In addition to that, 400,000 people are killed every year by other people. What is interesting is that a lot of these homicides are committed for the sake of noble causes like patriotism, religious beliefs, and ideologies. We aren’t quite a sane species, right?

Insanity is the norm rather than an exception when it comes to human beings. We call it uniqueness. That’s fine too. The world would be an absolutely boring place with too many perfectly sane people. Just imagine a world where everyone thinks absolutely logically, rationally. They’d see molecules of hydrogen and oxygen when they see water. They would hear sextant when you say sex. They will say that a body at rest wants to stay at rest but won’t ever rest themselves.

Let us admit it: we are all insane. Most of us. We don’t go by reason usually. We go by our emotions. Sentiments. Oh my! Aren’t our sentiments touchy! Make a joke about someone’s fetish and watch the hell break loose. You don’t even have to crack a joke really. People are just waiting to get hurt, it looks like.

Psychologist Albert Ellis tells us that our belief systems create most of the problems. We harbour a lot of insane beliefs which are thrust into our bloodstream by vested interests. Those people who rammed an airplane into the World Trade Centre thought themselves to be saints. Hitler regarded himself as the saviour of a whole race. Millions and millions of people have been brutally done away with in the name of gods, holy cows, and even philosophical abstractions like socialism.

How do we solve this problem?

First of all, we can’t solve the other people’s problems. We can only cure our own insanities. A lot of gods came to save mankind and failed miserably. There’s a Christian hymn that I was taught as a child. One day at a time, sweet Jesus – that was the title of the hymn. Towards the end it asks Jesus: “Do you remember / When you walked among men? / Well, Jesus, you know / If you’re looking below / It’s worse now than then…”

Neither Jesus nor Krishna, neither the Buddha nor the Prophet, redeemed the world. The world became worse and worse as years went by though the number of gods burgeoned insanely. If gods and their men couldn’t save the world, how can you and me – ordinary mortals – hope to? Let us save ourselves. How?

Change our belief systems. Question our beliefs and we are quite likely to find that most of them are insane, irrational, silly, absurd. Our dysfunctional personalities are products of those beliefs. Tragically, those beliefs rule the world. They always did. They had priests and high-priests. They had political defenders. They had deadly weapons of defence.

Do you want to be sane? It’s possible. Really. Here are some tips.

1.      Fully acknowledge that you are largely responsible for your own emotional problems. Okay, I know that the skyrocketing prices of things and your government’s malignance or many other such things are beyond your control. True. We need to accept many things which are beyond our control and see what we can do about them. Maybe, endure them until the right opportunity comes along. Or create that opportunity. For the most part, quite many of our problems are our own making.

2.      You need to accept the notion that you have the ability to change a lot of things significantly. You can’t change the petrol price. But you can change your driving habit. You can change your car. You can even change your country. Well, explore all possible and viable options.

3.      When it comes to psychological problems, we need to recognise that our emotions are by and large products of our irrational beliefs. Look at those beliefs in the face. See them clearly. Challenge them.

4.      Understand that action is what will redeem you. Not prayers. Not gods and godmen. Not politicians. Your own actions. Your determination, your grit, your perseverance. Put your hand to the pickaxe. And don’t turn back.

“Stop it, and give yourself a chance,” as Aaron Beck (psychologist) said.

 

PS. This post is part of Blogchatter's CauseAChatter

Comments

  1. These are some great advices to follow. I agree we need to go easy on ourselves and give another chance!


    Gayathri @ Elgee Writes

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Life needn't be so bad if we are ready to be generous with ourselves.

      Delete
  2. Well said. I think several novel beliefs thrust upon us are also turning us into escapists making us want to ignore the tough actions that need to be taken to actually get us out of some emotional messes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's more brainwashing going on now than even in the heyday of propaganda. Especially in India. People need to learn the art of critiquing.

      Delete
  3. Amazing post Sir, my takeaway - 'Understand that action is what will redeem you'

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's really imporatnt to talk about this and happy that you shared such practical and great tips, Sir!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Insanity is commoner than people think it is. I looked at it lightly.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Adventures of Toto as a comic strip

  'The Adventures of Toto' is an amusing story by Ruskin Bond. It is prescribed as a lesson in CBSE's English course for class 9. Maggie asked her students to do a project on some of the lessons and Femi George's work is what I would like to present here. Femi converted the story into a beautiful comic strip. Her work will speak for itself and let me present it below.  Femi George Student of Carmel Public School, Vazhakulam, Kerala Similar post: The Little Girl

Don Bosco

Don Bosco (16 Aug 1815 - 31 Jan 1888) In Catholic parlance, which flows through my veins in spite of myself, today is the Feast of Don Bosco. My life was both made and unmade by Don Bosco institutions. Any great person can make or break people because of his followers. Religious institutions are the best examples. I’m presenting below an extract from my forthcoming book titled Autumn Shadows to celebrate the Feast of Don Bosco in my own way which is obviously very different from how it is celebrated in his institutions today. Do I feel nostalgic about the Feast? Not at all. I feel relieved. That’s why this celebration. The extract follows. Don Bosco, as Saint John Bosco was popularly known, had a remarkably good system for the education of youth.   He called it ‘preventive system’.   The educators should be ever vigilant so that wrong actions are prevented before they can be committed.   Reason, religion and loving kindness are the three pillars of that syste...

Coffee can be bitter

The dawns of my childhood were redolent of filtered black coffee. We were woken up before the birds started singing in the lush green village landscape outside home. The sun would split the darkness of the eastern sky with its splinter of white radiance much after we children had our filtered coffee with a small lump of jaggery. Take a bite of the jaggery and then a sip of the coffee. Coffee was a ritual in our home back then. Perhaps our parents believed it would jolt our neurons awake and help us absorb our lessons before we set out on the 4-kilometre walk to school after all the morning rituals at home. After high school, when I left home for further studies at a distant place, the ritual of the morning coffee stopped. It resumed a whole decade later when I completed my graduation and took up a teaching job in Shillong. But I had lost my taste for filtered coffee by then; tea took its place. Plain tea without milk – what is known as red tea in most parts of India. Coffee ret...

The Real Enemies of India

People in general are inclined to pass the blame on to others whatever the fault.  For example, we Indians love to blame the British for their alleged ‘divide-and-rule’ policy.  Did the British really divide India into Hindus and Muslims or did the Indians do it themselves?  Was there any unified entity called India in the first place before the British unified it? Having raised those questions, I’m going to commit a further sacrilege of quoting a British journalist-cum-historian.  In his magnum opus, India: a History , John Keay says that the “stock accusations of a wider Machiavellian intent to ‘divide and rule’ and to ‘stir up Hindu-Muslim animosity’” levelled against the British Raj made little sense when the freedom struggle was going on in India because there really was no unified India until the British unified it politically.  Communal divisions existed in India despite the political unification.  In fact, they existed even before the Briti...

The Life of an Activist

Book Review   Title: I am What I am: A Memoir Author: Sunitha Krishnan Publisher: Westland, Chennai, 2024 Pages: 284 Sunitha Krishnan is more of a conqueror than a survivor. She was gangraped at the age of 15, and that too because she had started working for the uplift of the girls in a village. She used to interact with the girls, motivate them to go back to school, give them remedial classes, and discuss topics like menstrual hygiene “and other intimate issues”. Some men of the village didn’t like such “revolutionary” moves coming from a little girl. Eight such men violated Sunitha Krishnan one evening as she was returning home from the village. “Any sexual assault is a traumatic event and leaves deep scars on the psyche of the survivor. The shame, the guilt, the feeling of being tainted, the self-loathing that it brings in its wake is universal. I was no exception.” That is how the third chapter, title ‘The Girl Who Did Not Cry’, begins. Sunitha Krishnan didn’t l...