Skip to main content

Rotten Onions


Husband came home jubilantly because he had managed to get a kilogram of onions at half the market price, thanks to Sheila didi.

“Rotten,” said Wife in her characteristic laconic way after opening the precious packet of onions.

“Really?”  Husband was agitated.  Agitation was his characteristic way.  “How could the government sell onions at half the market price?  It has to be rotten.  No dealer will sell onions at that rate even to the government in these days when governments are dictated to by traders.  The question is why the media didn’t pick it up.”

“See this,” said Wife.  She showed him the front page report on his favourite newspaper, The Hindu, which said, “Delhiites say Govt selling ‘rotten’ onions”. 

No wonder there was no rush for onions today, mused Husband who would not have bought the onions otherwise.  But he had to justify himself before Wife. 

So he said, “I wonder why the media doesn’t pursue the matter beyond the obvious.  For example, where did the government get the onions from?  Was it from people who were hoarding it with the malicious purpose of raising its price and then sold it to the government when it started rotting?  The big farmers or the wholesale traders made a deal with the government and the government cheated the people.  Simple, you see, darling.  Cheating is what life is about today.  If you don’t cheat, you are a fool.  The media just wants to prove that we are fools...”

Wife understood.  Her husband was trying his best not to appear a fool before her.   She smiled.

 

PS. Not from personal experience.  Inspired by the front page report in The Hindu.
Labels:

Comments

  1. MridulaOctober 30, 2013 at 7:24 PM

    I saw that report and a nice take on the sad state of affairs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalOctober 30, 2013 at 7:38 PM

      I'm yet to find out where in Delhi they sell the govt supplied onions :)

      Delete
  2. KhushbooOctober 30, 2013 at 7:33 PM

    For the first time in months, talking about onions made me smile :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Poonam KhandujaOctober 30, 2013 at 9:27 PM

    Nice Satirical Take. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousOctober 30, 2013 at 10:48 PM

    Indeed Govt. are cheating the Common People,What Govt. is doing is simply not acceptable on their part,They make money by fooling Indians..That's what they had been doing all these years and will continue to do in future..

    But I guess I am lucky to have Onions at Rs 60/kg and not the rotten one.. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalOctober 31, 2013 at 9:43 AM

      Onion is a powerful political weapon. It has revealed its claws and fangs earlier too just before elections.

      Good you're lucky.

      Delete
  5. On A Good LengthOctober 31, 2013 at 12:19 PM

    Amazing read on Onions :P

    ReplyDelete
  6. UnknownOctober 31, 2013 at 12:49 PM

    One of my friends was joking about renaming "Paneer Do Payaza" to "Pyaz Do Paneer" as onion is more valuable than paneer now :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalOctober 31, 2013 at 5:31 PM

      "If people don't have onion, let them eat paneer," said the queen!

      Delete
  7. RAN IN JAN October 31, 2013 at 1:13 PM

    i didnt read the article though, but it was good to read about the issue. I have started to eat without onions.I feel how the Jain's were so wise about not choosing onions.lol. Great read sir.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalOctober 31, 2013 at 5:34 PM

      The Jains know their onions, Ran.

      I have seen people asking for 100 grams of onions from shopkeepers and vendors!

      Delete
  8. ekta khetanOctober 31, 2013 at 3:01 PM

    Very well written. To tell you the truth, I know vendors who supply onions to mart and market. They are paid a very paltry sum of amount wherein these hypercity etc sells it to us at sky rocketing price.

    Dirty politics!
    www.numerounity.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalOctober 31, 2013 at 5:36 PM

      When politics and commerce become bed mates, you can't expect anything better, dear friend.

      Delete
  9. SidOctober 31, 2013 at 3:23 PM

    We often forgive the media for its doings, despite it being the fourth pillar of democracy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalOctober 31, 2013 at 5:37 PM

      The fourth pillar is meant for supporting the other 3: the aristocrats, the politicians, and the traders!

      Delete
  10. UnknownOctober 31, 2013 at 4:01 PM

    Good thing you mentioned that it's not a personal experience :P :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalOctober 31, 2013 at 5:38 PM

      Ha ha ha, thanks Pankti.
      The fact is that I have often got into similar traps :)

      Delete
  11. AditiOctober 31, 2013 at 4:05 PM

    Very well written....loved you brought about some entertainment in these rotten times!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalOctober 31, 2013 at 5:40 PM

      We can look forward to more rotten times, Aditi. Today's papers report that the prices of diesel, kerosene and cooking gas are going to be raised. Subsidies will slowly be removed from everything. Private firms will cry hoarse over financial crunch and cut salaries...

      I hope to entertain you in those times too :)

      Delete
  12. UnknownOctober 31, 2013 at 6:55 PM

    Ha ha ha, this is a nice one on the onions.The first time onions brought a smile instead of tears!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Mon.EspritOctober 31, 2013 at 7:13 PM

    Perfect ending, exactly how it really is :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalOctober 31, 2013 at 9:16 PM

      See how onions can make us creative. thanks for the appreciation.

      Delete
  14. AnonymousNovember 5, 2013 at 1:54 AM

    [ Smiles ] Lovely article. However, cheating is highly dishonest!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalNovember 5, 2013 at 9:53 AM

      Hasn't cheating become an integral part of politics and trade today? The worst thing that happened in the last 2 or 3 decades is the nexus between traders and politicians.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pranita a perverted genius

Bulldozer begins its work at Sawan Pranita was a perverted genius. She had Machiavelli’s brain, Octavian’s relentlessness, and Levin’s intellectual calibre. She could have worked wonders if she wanted. She could have created a beautiful world around her. She had the potential. Yet she chose to be a ruthless exterminator. She came to Sawan Public School just to kill it. A religious cult called Radha Soami Satsang Beas [RSSB] had taken over the school from its owner who had never visited the school for over 20 years. This owner, a prominent entrepreneur with a gargantuan ego, had come to the conclusion that the morality of the school’s staff was deviating from the wavelengths determined by him. Moreover, his one foot was inching towards the grave. I was also told that there were some domestic noises which were grating against his patriarchal sensibilities. One holy solution for all these was to hand over the school and its enormous campus (nearly 20 acres of land on the outskirts
10 comments
Read more

Machiavelli the Reverend

Let us go today , you and I, through certain miasmic streets. Nothing will be quite clear along our way because this journey is through some delusions and illusions. You will meet people wearing holy robes and talking about morality and virtues. Some of them will claim to be god’s men and some will make taller claims. Some of them are just amorphous. Invisible. But omnipotent. You can feel their power around you. On you. Oppressing you. Stifling you. Reverend Machiavelli is one such oppressive power. You will meet Franz Kafka somewhere along the way. Joseph K’s ghost will pass by. Remember Joseph K who was arrested one fine morning for a crime that nobody knew anything about? Neither Joseph nor the men who arrest him know why Joseph K is arrested. The power that keeps Joseph K under arrest is invisible. He cannot get answers to his valid questions from the visible agents of that power. He cannot explain himself to that power. Finally, he is taken to a quarry outside the town wher
19 comments
Read more

Levin the good shepherd

AI-generated image The lost sheep and its redeemer form a pet motif in Christianity. Jesus portrayed himself as a good shepherd many times. He said that the good shepherd will leave his 99 sheep in order to bring the lost sheep back to the fold. When he finds the lost sheep, the shepherd is happier about that one sheep than about the 99, Jesus claimed. He was speaking metaphorically. The lost sheep is the sinner in Jesus’ parable. Sin is a departure from the ‘right’ way. Angels raise a toast in heaven whenever a sinner returns to the ‘right’ path [Luke 15:10]. A lot of Catholic priests I know carry some sort of a Redeemer complex in their souls. They love the sinner so much that they cannot rest until they make the angels of God run for their cups of joy. I have also been fortunate to have one such priest-friend whom I shall call Levin in this post. He has befriended me right from the year 1976 when I was a blundering adolescent and he was just one year older than me. He possesse
8 comments
Read more

Nakulan the Outcast

Nakulan was one of the many tenants of Hevendrea . A professor in the botany department of the North Eastern Hill University, he was a very lovable person. Some sense of inferiority complex that came from his caste status made him scoff the very idea of his lovability. He lived with his wife and three children in one of Heavendrea’s many cottages. When he wanted to have a drink, he would walk over to my hut. We sipped our whiskies and discussed Shillong’s intriguing politics or something of the sort while my cassette player crooned gently in the background. Nakulan was more than ten years my senior by age. He taught a subject which had never aroused my interest at any stage of my life. It made no difference to me whether a leaf was pinnately compound or palmately compound. You don’t need to know about anther and stigma in order to understand a flower. My friend Levin would have ascribed my lack of interest in Nakulan’s subject to my egomania. I always thought that Nakulan lived
16 comments
Read more

Octavian the Guru

Octavian was one of my students in college. Being a student of English literature, he had reasons to establish a personal rapport with me. It took me months to realise that the rapport was fake. He was playing a role for the sake of Rev Machiavelli . Octavian was about 20 years old and I was nearly double his age. Yet he could deceive me too easily. The plain truth is that anyone can deceive me as easily even today. I haven’t learnt certain basic lessons of life. Sheer inability. Some people are like that. Levin would say that my egomania and the concomitant hubris prevented my learning of the essential lessons of life. That would have been true in those days when Octavian took me for a farcical ride. By the time that ride was over, I had learnt at least one thing: that my ego was pulped. More than 20 years have passed after that and I haven’t still learnt to manage affairs in the world of people. That’s why I admit my sheer inability to learn some fundamental lessons of life. Th
8 comments
Read more