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The Sensitive Indian Patriot


Samuel Johnson was wrong.  Far from being scoundrels, we, the Indian patriots, are an exceptionally sensitive lot.  “As sensitive as the toilet seat,” I can hear the antinational prigs snicker.  The fact is that we care for Mother India.  We care for the Gau Mata.  That’s why we don’t tolerate the likes of Ramya, former MP and actress, who dare to say that “Pakistan is not hell.”  Tell me, how can a former Member of Parliament, make such a statement when she ought to know that the cause of all our problems is Pakistan?  Earlier that other actor’s wife said she felt insecure to live in India.  We told her to go to Pakistan along with her Muslim husband.  And now we have slapped a sedition charge on Ramya.  We are patriots, not scoundrels.  Our national sensitivity is offended when anyone says that Pakistan is not hell.  Our national pride is founded on the premise that Pakistan is our hell.

For light to shine, there has to be darkness.  Pakistan is our darkness.  India is heaven because Pakistan is hell.

All the antinationals in Hindustan must understand that the very reason for our existence as a nation is to hate Pakistan.  So anyone who refuses to denounce Pakistan is anti-India.  Even Sir Donald Trump endorses that policy.  Jai Hind.


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  1. CifarAugust 24, 2016 at 11:40 AM

    PM stopover in hell, he give gifts to leader of hell, WHY? Is he getting tips how to make India hell as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 24, 2016 at 2:37 PM

      Has Mr Modi ever done anything that does not contradict what he did or said earlier?

      Delete
  2. UppalAugust 24, 2016 at 11:49 AM

    Patriotic people are sensitive.Sweeping generalizations don't mend matters.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 24, 2016 at 2:37 PM

      Mahatma Gandhi was sensitive, you mean to say, Uppal?

      Delete
  3. Pranju chakrapaniAugust 24, 2016 at 1:00 PM

    I had the opportunity of meeting some pakistani fellows in my workplace and it is a pity how I am antinational for liking them.

    state sponsored terrorism is not sponsored by the entire demography but we must hate the lot for being national.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 24, 2016 at 2:41 PM

      This is the real tragedy spawned by nationalism. It makes us hate. Has nationalism ever made anyone love anyone?

      Delete
  4. RakeshAugust 24, 2016 at 1:13 PM

    Biting sarcasm! Loved it! It's true, if you see. Pakistan is our panacea. We may have our own poverty, potholes and foeticide, but there's nothing that cursing Pakistan won't cure. Great observation! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 24, 2016 at 2:43 PM

      I'm glad you came here after a long time. I'm sure this is not going to be the only good thing happening after my opening the FB account once again :)

      Delete
  5. जितेन्द्र माथुरAugust 25, 2016 at 10:50 AM

    Good satire sir. I have grasped the essence of your post. Pseudo-nationalism has become the order of the day in India for the past some time.

    Jitendra Mathur

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 25, 2016 at 5:51 PM

      People who don't have any qualities of character pretend to be nationalists today. The PM himself said that 4 out of 5 of them are criminals.

      Delete
  6. Dr Vikrant GoenkaAugust 25, 2016 at 12:47 PM

    Nice one sir...I really liked ur views..... But if u go watch movies like 'sarabjit' & others that show the past of the two countries....u will get to know why there is so much hatred for Pak!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 25, 2016 at 5:53 PM

      Do I need to watch these pop movies in order to know the history of my country, Vikrant? I have a good collection of history books at home, written by eminent historians. I read pretty much, you know. :)

      By the way, one of the good things happening after I opened the FB account is that you are here.

      Delete
  7. sunaina sharmaAugust 25, 2016 at 7:53 PM

    I am smiling and imagining patriots are buying their nails reading your post. Agree with Rakesh. Also you have another subject for post - movies and their 'coloring' of history. You are on FB now ????? GOOD!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 25, 2016 at 8:49 PM

      Patriotism of the kind I'm witnessing in my country now has become a pain in the unmentionable part, Sunaina :) There's no better way to deal with it than satire.

      FB is a slippery slope. I'm becoming bold enough, I think. After all, falls are my birthrights.

      Delete
  8. Rajeev MoothedathAugust 25, 2016 at 8:00 PM

    Some valid points in your post....

    ReplyDelete
  9. RandomIndianAugust 27, 2016 at 10:03 PM

    Ha, I sense the sarcasm.. Let the so called "nationalists" read this...Good post, BTW.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 28, 2016 at 6:28 PM

      Thank you. All the nationalists can scratch and feel their nationalism once again :)

      Delete

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