Skip to main content

The Sensitive Indian Patriot


Samuel Johnson was wrong.  Far from being scoundrels, we, the Indian patriots, are an exceptionally sensitive lot.  “As sensitive as the toilet seat,” I can hear the antinational prigs snicker.  The fact is that we care for Mother India.  We care for the Gau Mata.  That’s why we don’t tolerate the likes of Ramya, former MP and actress, who dare to say that “Pakistan is not hell.”  Tell me, how can a former Member of Parliament, make such a statement when she ought to know that the cause of all our problems is Pakistan?  Earlier that other actor’s wife said she felt insecure to live in India.  We told her to go to Pakistan along with her Muslim husband.  And now we have slapped a sedition charge on Ramya.  We are patriots, not scoundrels.  Our national sensitivity is offended when anyone says that Pakistan is not hell.  Our national pride is founded on the premise that Pakistan is our hell.

For light to shine, there has to be darkness.  Pakistan is our darkness.  India is heaven because Pakistan is hell.

All the antinationals in Hindustan must understand that the very reason for our existence as a nation is to hate Pakistan.  So anyone who refuses to denounce Pakistan is anti-India.  Even Sir Donald Trump endorses that policy.  Jai Hind.


Comments

  1. PM stopover in hell, he give gifts to leader of hell, WHY? Is he getting tips how to make India hell as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Has Mr Modi ever done anything that does not contradict what he did or said earlier?

      Delete
  2. Patriotic people are sensitive.Sweeping generalizations don't mend matters.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mahatma Gandhi was sensitive, you mean to say, Uppal?

      Delete
  3. I had the opportunity of meeting some pakistani fellows in my workplace and it is a pity how I am antinational for liking them.

    state sponsored terrorism is not sponsored by the entire demography but we must hate the lot for being national.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is the real tragedy spawned by nationalism. It makes us hate. Has nationalism ever made anyone love anyone?

      Delete
  4. Biting sarcasm! Loved it! It's true, if you see. Pakistan is our panacea. We may have our own poverty, potholes and foeticide, but there's nothing that cursing Pakistan won't cure. Great observation! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad you came here after a long time. I'm sure this is not going to be the only good thing happening after my opening the FB account once again :)

      Delete
  5. Good satire sir. I have grasped the essence of your post. Pseudo-nationalism has become the order of the day in India for the past some time.

    Jitendra Mathur

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People who don't have any qualities of character pretend to be nationalists today. The PM himself said that 4 out of 5 of them are criminals.

      Delete
  6. Nice one sir...I really liked ur views..... But if u go watch movies like 'sarabjit' & others that show the past of the two countries....u will get to know why there is so much hatred for Pak!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do I need to watch these pop movies in order to know the history of my country, Vikrant? I have a good collection of history books at home, written by eminent historians. I read pretty much, you know. :)

      By the way, one of the good things happening after I opened the FB account is that you are here.

      Delete
  7. I am smiling and imagining patriots are buying their nails reading your post. Agree with Rakesh. Also you have another subject for post - movies and their 'coloring' of history. You are on FB now ????? GOOD!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Patriotism of the kind I'm witnessing in my country now has become a pain in the unmentionable part, Sunaina :) There's no better way to deal with it than satire.

      FB is a slippery slope. I'm becoming bold enough, I think. After all, falls are my birthrights.

      Delete
  8. Ha, I sense the sarcasm.. Let the so called "nationalists" read this...Good post, BTW.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. All the nationalists can scratch and feel their nationalism once again :)

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ivan the unusual friend

When you are down and out, you will find that people are of two types. One is the kind that will walk away from you because now you are no good. They will pretend that you don’t exist. They don’t see you even if you happen to land right in front of them. The other is the sort that will have much fun at your expense. They will crack jokes about you even to you or preach at you or pray over you. This latter people are usually pretty happy that you are broke. You make them feel more comfortable with themselves even to the point of self-righteousness. Ivan was an exception. When I slipped on the path of life and started a free fall that would last many years before I hit the bottom without a thud but with enormous anguish, Ivan stood by me for some reason of his own. He didn’t display any affection which probably he didn’t have. He didn’t display any dislike either. There was no question of preaching or praying. No jokes either. Ivan was my colleague for a brief period at St Joseph’s

Machiavelli the Reverend

Let us go today , you and I, through certain miasmic streets. Nothing will be quite clear along our way because this journey is through some delusions and illusions. You will meet people wearing holy robes and talking about morality and virtues. Some of them will claim to be god’s men and some will make taller claims. Some of them are just amorphous. Invisible. But omnipotent. You can feel their power around you. On you. Oppressing you. Stifling you. Reverend Machiavelli is one such oppressive power. You will meet Franz Kafka somewhere along the way. Joseph K’s ghost will pass by. Remember Joseph K who was arrested one fine morning for a crime that nobody knew anything about? Neither Joseph nor the men who arrest him know why Joseph K is arrested. The power that keeps Joseph K under arrest is invisible. He cannot get answers to his valid questions from the visible agents of that power. He cannot explain himself to that power. Finally, he is taken to a quarry outside the town wher

Joe the tenacious friend

AI-generated illustration You outgrow certain friendships because life changes you in ways that nobody, including you, had expected. Joe is one such friend of mine who was very dear to me once. That friendship cannot be sustained anymore because I am no more the person whom Joe knew and loved to amble along with. And Joe seems incapable of understanding the fact that people can change substantially. Joe and I were supposed to meet one of these days after a gap of more than two decades. I scuttled the meeting rather heartlessly. Just because Joe’s last messages carried words that smacked of intimacy. My life has gone through so much devastating fire that the delicate warmth of intimacy has become repulsive. Joe was a good friend of mine while we were in Shillong. He was a post-graduate student and a part-time schoolteacher when I met him first. I was a fulltime schoolteacher teaching math and science to ninth and tenth graders. My dream was to postgraduate in English literature an

Kailasnath the Paradox

AI-generated illustration It wasn’t easy to discern whether he was a friend or merely an amused onlooker. He was my colleague at the college, though from another department. When my life had entered a slippery slope because of certain unresolved psychological problems, he didn’t choose to shun me as most others did. However, when he did condescend to join me in the college canteen sipping tea and smoking a cigarette, I wasn’t ever sure whether he was befriending me or mocking me. Kailasnath was a bundle of paradoxes. He appeared to be an alpha male, so self-assured and lord of all that he surveyed. Yet if you cared to observe deeply, you would find too many chinks in his armour. Beneath all those domineering words and gestures lay ample signs of frailty. The tall, elegantly slim and precisely erect stature would draw anyone’s attention quickly. Kailasnath was always attractively dressed though never unduly stylish. Everything about him exuded an air of chic confidence. But the wa

Levin the good shepherd

AI-generated image The lost sheep and its redeemer form a pet motif in Christianity. Jesus portrayed himself as a good shepherd many times. He said that the good shepherd will leave his 99 sheep in order to bring the lost sheep back to the fold. When he finds the lost sheep, the shepherd is happier about that one sheep than about the 99, Jesus claimed. He was speaking metaphorically. The lost sheep is the sinner in Jesus’ parable. Sin is a departure from the ‘right’ way. Angels raise a toast in heaven whenever a sinner returns to the ‘right’ path [Luke 15:10]. A lot of Catholic priests I know carry some sort of a Redeemer complex in their souls. They love the sinner so much that they cannot rest until they make the angels of God run for their cups of joy. I have also been fortunate to have one such priest-friend whom I shall call Levin in this post. He has befriended me right from the year 1976 when I was a blundering adolescent and he was just one year older than me. He possesse