Sunday, November 6, 2016

Unpredictability and Life


It’s been a rough ride from my youth until this day when my hairs have greyed and smiles are warped.  Very few things went right.  And the wrongs have been exacting teachers.  They have taught me that most stories do not have fairy tale endings.  Very few poems rhyme or follow rhythm.  The most beautiful smiles may be sustained by terribly battered hearts. 

Unpredictability is the essence of life.  Which sperm out of the millions ejaculated gets to fertilise the egg?  What all genes do the chromosomes carry from each partner?  How do they configure their permutations and combinations?  There begins the story of life’s unpredictability.

Once you are pushed out into the world, unpredictability is the ruler.  From your parents to your boss(es), from the priest in the church to the politician on the throne, from the fellow next door to the colleague on the next seat, there’s a whole range of permutations and combinations impinging upon you every moment of your life.

Personally, I was an utter failure dealing with a lot of those kaleidoscopic punches and pinches.  The more you fail, the more the world loves to defeat you.  Finally you bow out and leave the stage to the more spectacular actors. 

Perhaps that bowing out was the most unpredictable moment in my life.  It happened a year and a half back, thanks to a godman and his women who usurped the stage on which I played my ineluctable drama.  It was not at all about the loss of a job.  It was about villainy masquerading as religious holiness.  It was about subhuman manipulations and nefarious gambits. 

It was about the nausea that Jean-Paul Sartre portrayed in the character of Antoine Roquentin.  Some experiences hurl you into a vacuum where you have to redefine yourself and start all over again.

No, I’m not blaming anyone.  I understand that that’s how the world is.  The drawback is mine.  So I drew back.  From the stage.  The only problem now is that the very mention of a godman makes me retch.




10 comments:

  1. Wow! It takes real courage for a man to write this. My salute to you. Sir, your English vocabulary is also too strong. It must have taken years of effort to develop your language skills. Appreciations!!

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    1. Thanks, friend, for the appreciation. I've been an English teacher for a long time :)

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  2. I remember your post in the two lady teachers.

    I like 'Most stories do not end in fairy tales'

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    1. Those two ladies have left some indelible marks in my being. They can be proud of that :)

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  3. You are a great writer sir. I became a fan of your writing the day when I read your post on narcissism. Thank you for sharing your experiences. :)

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  4. Unpredictability is the name of life....but unpleasant unpredictability is what stirs one deeply....The mental torture you must have suffered has only made you stronger.....something the 'villains' of your life might find hard to digest....

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    1. The villains have remarkable digestive systems. They swallow anything from gods to crap...

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  5. You are a great writer with strong opinions

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