Divine Laws of Troglodytes

Sir Troglodyte

A few thousand years ago, a couple of crooks sat down in a cave and divided people into four groups: Brahmins, Kshatriyas, Vaishyas and Shudras. The crooks placed themselves, their clans who lived in similar caves and their chamchas who lived in lesser caves in the group which they declared as superior to the others who did not have the fortune of owning caves. Even the king and his satellites were subordinated to this superior group because the crooks had invented a fantastic creature called God to supervise all these arrangements.

Then they created about 4000 castes and subcastes. Not contented with all those divisions, the divine crooks [they had ascribed divinity to themselves in the process] put a whole lot of people outside these groups. The Ati-Shudras were subhuman people, according to the crooks’ divine revelations. The Ati-Shudras were again divided: Untouchables, Unseeables and Unapproachables.

The divine crooks decided who would marry whom, who would eat what, whou would wear what, and so on. They even kept their gods out of reach of the lower caste people. Gods are dangerous allies because the crooks had already endowed the gods with all their own vices. The gods craved for blood: human blood. Lower caste human blood, of course.

The gods decided that women of the lower castes should bare their breasts before the upper caste men in daytime, and sleep with the men at night. Untouchability was applicable only in the daytime. Love pollutes; lust purifies: that’s one of the many divine laws.

The gods asked some people to attach spittoons to their necks so that their saliva wouldn’t pollute the soil. Some were to tie brooms to their waists to sweep away their polluted footprints. Dr B R Ambedkar, the father of the Indian Constitution, belonged to this caste to waist-broomers.

Today that Constitution is under challenge. Today a couple of crooks sit in air-conditioned caves and write new divine laws.