1. Atheist becomes God
"I'll perform the same miracle that the godman performed just now," Atheist said. He waved his fist in the air as solemnly as Godman had done a while back. Then he opened his fist. "Voila!" he said displaying the ash in his palm.
"Simple trick," he said. "Sleight of hand."
He waved his hand again and then opened his fist which now contained a golden ring. "Only looks gold, actually fake," he grinned. He explained how he did it too. "No miracle, simple magic."
The godman was furious. His devotees now thronged before Atheist. They were falling prostrate at his feet.
2. Dead Sure
A man believed he was dead. He stopped eating and lay down in bed quietly.
"Do the dead bleed?" The psychiatrist asked.
"No," the man said.
Psychiatrist took a blade and made a small incision on the man's arm which started bleeding.
"See?" Psychiatrist asked.
"Yup, I understand," the man said.
"What? What do you understand?"
"I understand that the dead can bleed."
3. Quite Fishy
A man was convinced he was a fish in the ocean of human affairs. And he knew that fishes were scared of cats. So he consulted Psychiatrist to cure him of his ichthyophobia.
The man was treated and treated until he accepted that he was not a fish. Convinced he was not a fish, he went out for a stroll only to rush back in panic.
"There's a cat outside," he said.
"So what? You're not a fish now!"
"I know that," the man said. "But the cat doesn't."
4. Walking on water
13 June 2016. Hatha yogi L S Rao is going to walk on water. A Union minister has just inaugurated the show. Hundreds of people paid huge ticket charges to watch it.
Yogi arrives. He offers prayers and makes some gestures like a prestidigitator. And steps on to the water. He sinks like a normal human.
He is saved by people who know the physics of water better.
Questioned, Yogi says, "My morning motion was not good, a malfunction of the rectum. Hence I could not achieve the vacuum in my body."
Moral: Shit is the only gravity that some people possess.
The last one is classic...ha ha
ReplyDeleteIndia will soon make it a myth. That guy is going to be some avatar too.
DeleteHari OM
ReplyDeleteThree fun fables! YAM xx
The 1st one really happened too. With an atheist named A T Kovoor.
DeleteI placed 2 loony stories in between purposely. Being naughty 😊
I read up to the 3rd joke last night and they made me smile. I was feeling down especially because I could not win a single prize in a creative writing competition I had participated in. The results had been declared last night. I woke up today morning and reread the whole lot and they managed to bring the smile back to my face. Thank you Tom.
ReplyDeleteOh! The above comment is by Jai, Tom. I mistakenly published it as an anonymous comment.
ReplyDeleteHi Jai, keep smiling. I'm sure the creative writing prize is waiting for you elsewhere.
DeleteLoved the third one.
ReplyDeleteVery nice stories!
ReplyDeleteSome years back on AXN there was a show Breaking Magician’s Code – Magic’s Secret’s Revealed. In that a man walks on water in a swimming pool. Some were swimming at the time. A glass was used on which the man walked. Swimming by others made it difficult to know he walked on glass.
ReplyDeleteIn spite of all efforts to expose the fraudulence of miracle-workers, people choose to believe them!
Delete