If there were an undo button in life, what would I undo? This is the question raised by Anjana at Indiblogger this week.
Wishing to undo something is a sign of regret. There are many things in my life that I have reasons to regret. But I choose not to regret. I go with Don Juan, the “Man of Knowledge” in Carlos Castaneda’s many inspiring books, who advised us not to regret but make decisions. Regrets don’t achieve anything. To err is human. To forgive or not to forgive is also human. Forgetting certain errors makes life easier. Learning from certain errors makes us wiser. Undoing errors is only wishful thinking. There is no undo button in life.
Could I undo my birth? The ultimate absurdity of human endeavours would have made me wish that. But I don’t want to be a Hamlet oscillating between a harsh reality and an undesirable alternative. Nor am I pining for the Buddhist nirvana since nirvana is the inevitable end of every human being as far as I understand human life. I am caught in the cycles of desire and delusion like all normal human beings. I know that I have to move from one desire to the next, from one delusion to the next, until nirvana will descend on me one day as naturally as the leaf falls from the tree. I hope the fall will be elegant. Graceful.
In the meanwhile the leaf has to face the winds that blow and the showers that refresh. The seasons cannot be undone. The planets have to follow Newton’s laws of gravity. Newton cannot be undone. The stars will continue to shine until they burn out. Gravitational collapses cannot be undone. Black holes swallow their own light.
We live in a black hole. The event horizon surrounds us. It warps light rays. There is no undo button.