Monday, February 27, 2017



Guru had been sitting in meditation on the hillock for as long as he could ward off the hunger that was humming in his belly.  By the time the hunger became a fire in the belly, Guru had reached enlightenment.

“It was about four and a half hours that I sat there in deep meditation,” Guru declared to the devotees who had assembled at his ashram by the time he had finished his meal.  Perverts and antinationals spread the rumour that Guru’s chelas had paid in hard cash to bring in so many people as devotees.  They were the days when the Prime Minister had shoved all hard cash into the trash bin with one 8 pm television address to the nation.

“Up to that moment,” Guru went on, “that moment of my enlightenment, I always thought that this is me and that is somebody else or something else.  At that moment, however, I did not know which is me and which is somebody else or something else.  Suddenly, what was me was all over the place.  The very rock on which I was sitting, the oxygen I breathed, the very ecosystem around me, I had just exploded into everything.”

Perverts and antinationals said that the guy’s business had gone bust and his wife’s father had refused to pay more dowry.  So he exploded. 

The explosion was a Big Bang.  It gave birth to a whole universe with Guru at the centre.  Planets and satellites formed soon and started revolving round Guru. 

Miracles occurred once in a while.  The greatest miracle was the Mahasamadhi of Guru’s wife, Kalyani. 

“On the 13th of next month,” Guru prophesied, “when three planets will form a cluster centred on the 13th degree of Aquarius, joined by the Sun with the Full Moon opposite them all, Kalyani will achieve her Mahasamadhi.  It is the most auspicious day for Mahasamadhi.  The great sages of the past chose this day for their Samadhi....”

Perverts and antinationals spread the rumour that Guru had murdered his wife. 

The devotees beat their drums.  The drum beats resounded above all other noises.  The drum beats became the music of the spheres in the ashram.  The music enticed.  The music bewitched.  Guru claimed that he was the music. 

The heavens were pleased.  They poured down showers through the holes in the ozone layer. 

PS. This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to anybody else or anything else is a figment of the reader’s imagination.


  1. The guru created ozone layer through those hard cash, shouted the pervs and the anti nationals!?

    1. Our contemporary gurus create holes, not ozone 😀


My India

“Where the king goes, the realm follows,” says a character in Game of Thrones .   It is the leader who shapes the country.   A visiona...