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“Thank
the bees for their honey as though they were kind people who prepared it for
you. But I cannot say: ‘Thank them
because, look, how kind they are.’ They
may sting you the next moment.” Ludwig
Wittgenstein gives that counsel.
We
live in a world of contingencies. Life
has become so fast and complex that we don’t know what is awaiting us the next
moment – honey or the sting. We have to
deal with each event as it descends on us in its own capricious way. We have to deal with it with finesse.
Finesse
is skill and delicacy together. Even in
the face of failure, we can find what we are good at and use it to forge our
own path ahead. That’s finesse. One way
of achieving finesse is to change our perspective. Instead of looking for self-esteem,
self-aggrandisement and other selfish goals, if we can develop certain social
interests we will find a magical change occurring in ourselves.
We
live in a world of selfies and self-interests.
The self is the centre of our universe.
Changing that focus from self to others is the real secret of the
finesse that the great masters possessed.
As Alfred Adler, psychologist, said, “It is the individual who is not
interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and
provides the greatest injury to others.
It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.”
One
of the most paradoxical things we come across too frequently is a kind of
people who claim to be public servants and religious activists. They are driven by the most selfish
interests. But they project themselves
as the heroes who are working for the society or the nation. They have redefined finesse as manipulation
of truths, distortion of history and success at any cost.
Try
living for a social cause. See what you
can contribute to others even if it is a small contribution to a small group of
people. Move out of the self to the
world out there. Forget the self. Discover joy in doing something for somebody
else. Finesse will happen to you. The world will change magically for you. For a few others too.
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