Finesse

“Thank the bees for their honey as though they were kind people who prepared it for you. But I cannot say: ‘Thank them because, look, how kind they are.’ They may sting you the next moment.” Ludwig Wittgenstein gives that counsel.

We live in a world of contingencies. Life has become so fast and complex that we don’t know what is awaiting us the next moment – honey or the sting. We have to deal with each event as it descends on us in its own capricious way. We have to deal with it with finesse.

Finesse is skill and delicacy together. Even in the face of failure, we can find what we are good at and use it to forge our own path ahead. That’s finesse. One way of achieving finesse is to change our perspective. Instead of looking for self-esteem, self-aggrandisement and other selfish goals, if we can develop certain social interests we will find a magical change occurring in ourselves.

We live in a world of selfies and self-interests. The self is the centre of our universe. Changing that focus from self to others is the real secret of the finesse that the great masters possessed. As Alfred Adler, psychologist, said, “It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life and provides the greatest injury to others. It is from among such individuals that all human failures spring.”

One of the most paradoxical things we come across too frequently is a kind of people who claim to be public servants and religious activists. They are driven by the most selfish interests. But they project themselves as the heroes who are working for the society or the nation. They have redefined finesse as manipulation of truths, distortion of history and success at any cost.

Try living for a social cause. See what you can contribute to others even if it is a small contribution to a small group of people. Move out of the self to the world out there. Forget the self. Discover joy in doing something for somebody else. Finesse will happen to you. The world will change magically for you. For a few others too.

PS. 6th post in #BlogchatterA2Z

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