Skip to main content

Thinking

The Thinker (Le Penseur)


Our thinking plays a vital role in making our life magical or miserable. Thoughts have the power to perform miracles. Cognitive psychologist Albert Ellis presents an A-B-C framework to explain the importance of our thoughts.

A stands for the activating event, B for beliefs, and C for consequence. Let us understand this through an example. Joe and Ann break up their relationship. Joe goes into depression. A is the divorce and C is the depression. But did A cause C? No, Ellis says. B causes C. Joe’s beliefs about the divorce are responsible for his depression. Joe believes that the divorce proves his inability to love or that he is a failure or that he is not even worthy of love. What we believe about things happening to us makes the world of a difference to the consequences.

Some 2000 years ago, Greek philosopher Epictetus said, “People are disturbed not by events, but by the views which they take of them.” If we change our views, the event changes. Rather, the meaning of the event for us changes. That is the magic. Change your thinking if you wish to change your life.

Quite a lot of our problems arise from self-defeating thinking like: I am totally to blame for the divorce; I am a miserable failure; Unless people appreciate what I do, I’m good for nothing.

Ellis continues his A-B-C framework with D-E-F. D stands for disputing intervention, E for effect, and F for new feeling. Dispute your thinking. Ask yourself questions like: Am I totally responsible for the failure? Do I need people’s applause to feel worthwhile? We have to remove all dysfunctional beliefs from our system. We have to start thinking more clearly, more logically, more healthily. Then will come the new feeling. That is the magic of wholesome thinking.

Some practical suggestions given by Ellis are:
1.     Acknowledge that we are largely responsible for creating our own emotional problems.
2.     Accept the notion that we have the power to change the disturbances significantly.
3.     Recognise that our emotional problems largely stem from our irrational beliefs.
4.     Perceive our beliefs clearly.
5.     Dispute all self-defeating beliefs.
6.     Be willing to work hard on changing those self-defeating beliefs.

PS. #BlogchatterA2Z





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Adventures of Toto as a comic strip

  'The Adventures of Toto' is an amusing story by Ruskin Bond. It is prescribed as a lesson in CBSE's English course for class 9. Maggie asked her students to do a project on some of the lessons and Femi George's work is what I would like to present here. Femi converted the story into a beautiful comic strip. Her work will speak for itself and let me present it below.  Femi George Student of Carmel Public School, Vazhakulam, Kerala Similar post: The Little Girl

Remedios the Beauty and Innocence

  Remedios the Beauty is a character in Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s novel, One Hundred Years of Solitude . Like most members of her family, she too belongs to solitude. But unlike others, she is very innocent too. Physically she is the most beautiful woman ever seen in Macondo, the place where the story of her family unfolds. Is that beauty a reflection of her innocence? Well, Marquez doesn’t suggest that explicitly. But there is an implication to that effect. Innocence does make people look charming. What else is the charm of children? Remedios’s beauty is dangerous, however. She is warned by her great grandmother, who is losing her eyesight, not to appear before men. The girl’s beauty coupled with her innocence will have disastrous effects on men. But Remedios is unaware of “her irreparable fate as a disturbing woman.” She is too innocent to know such things though she is an adult physically. Every time she appears before outsiders she causes a panic of exasperation. To make...

The Death of Truth and a lot more

Susmesh Chandroth in his kitchen “Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought,” Poet Shelley told us long ago. I was reading an interview with a prominent Malayalam writer, Susmesh Chandroth, this morning when Shelley returned to my memory. Chandroth says he left Kerala because the state had too much of affluence which is not conducive for the production of good art and literature. He chose to live in Kolkata where there is the agony of existence and hence also its ecstasies. He’s right about Kerala’s affluence. The state has eradicated poverty except in some small tribal pockets. Today almost every family in Kerala has at least one person working abroad and sending dollars home making the state’s economy far better than that of most of its counterparts. You will find palatial houses in Kerala with hardly anyone living in them. People who live in some distant foreign land get mansions constructed back home though they may never intend to come and live here. There are ...

The Covenant of Water

Book Review Title: The Covenant of Water Author: Abraham Verghese Publisher: Grove Press UK, 2023 Pages: 724 “What defines a family isn’t blood but the secrets they share.” This massive book explores the intricacies of human relationships with a plot that spans almost a century. The story begins in 1900 with 12-year-old Mariamma being wedded to a 40-year-old widower in whose family runs a curse: death by drowning. The story ends in 1977 with another Mariamma, the granddaughter of Mariamma the First who becomes Big Ammachi [grandmother]. A lot of things happen in the 700+ pages of the novel which has everything that one may expect from a popular novel: suspense, mystery, love, passion, power, vulnerability, and also some social and religious issues. The only setback, if it can be called that at all, is that too many people die in this novel. But then, when death by drowning is a curse in the family, we have to be prepared for many a burial. The Kerala of the pre-Independ...

Butterfly from Sambhal

“Weren’t you a worm till the other day?” The plant asks the butterfly. “That’s ancient history,” the butterfly answers. “Why don’t you look at the present reality which is much more beautiful?” “How can I forget that past?” The plant insists. “You ate almost all my leaves. Had not my constant gardener discovered your ravage in time and removed you from my frail limbs, I would have been dead long before you emerged from your contemplation with beautiful wings.” “I’m sorry, my dear Nandiarvattam ji. Did I have a choice? The only purpose of the existence of caterpillars is to eat leaves. Eat and eat. Until we get into the cocoon and wait for our wings to unfold. A new reality to unfold. It's a relentless hunger that creates butterflies.” “Your new reality is my painful old history. I still remember how I trembled foreseeing my death. Death by a worm!” “I wish I could heal you with my kisses.” “You’re doing that, thank you. But…” “I know. It hurts, the history thing. I’...