The Thinker (Le Penseur) |
Our
thinking plays a vital role in making our life magical or miserable. Thoughts
have the power to perform miracles. Cognitive psychologist Albert Ellis
presents an A-B-C framework to explain the importance of our thoughts.
A
stands for the activating event, B for beliefs, and C for consequence. Let us
understand this through an example. Joe and Ann break up their relationship.
Joe goes into depression. A is the divorce and C is the depression. But did A
cause C? No, Ellis says. B causes C. Joe’s beliefs about the divorce are
responsible for his depression. Joe believes that the divorce proves his
inability to love or that he is a failure or that he is not even worthy of
love. What we believe about things happening to us makes the world of a
difference to the consequences.
Some
2000 years ago, Greek philosopher Epictetus said, “People are disturbed not by
events, but by the views which they take of them.” If we change our views, the
event changes. Rather, the meaning of the event for us changes. That is the
magic. Change your thinking if you wish to change your life.
Quite
a lot of our problems arise from self-defeating thinking like: I am totally to
blame for the divorce; I am a miserable failure; Unless people appreciate what
I do, I’m good for nothing.
Ellis
continues his A-B-C framework with D-E-F. D stands for disputing intervention,
E for effect, and F for new feeling. Dispute your thinking. Ask yourself
questions like: Am I totally responsible for the failure? Do I need people’s
applause to feel worthwhile? We have to remove all dysfunctional beliefs from
our system. We have to start thinking more clearly, more logically, more
healthily. Then will come the new feeling. That is the magic of wholesome
thinking.
Some
practical suggestions given by Ellis are:
1.
Acknowledge that we are largely responsible for
creating our own emotional problems.
2.
Accept the notion that we have the power to change the
disturbances significantly.
3.
Recognise that our emotional problems largely stem
from our irrational beliefs.
4.
Perceive our beliefs clearly.
5.
Dispute all self-defeating beliefs.
6.
Be willing to work hard on changing those
self-defeating beliefs.
PS.
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