Skip to main content

Narcissus

I sit in the centre of a black hole, thwarting
Light rays and science laws, charting
Joys and sorrows of the universe, mixing
Memory and desire and love, longing
To draw the universe to my core.

I am the nucleus of a singularity;
And my love surpasses infinity
Flowing from the plenitude of my being
And bounded, alas, by a black horizon.
Nothing can ever go beyond the horizon.

Love is a great conqueror.

Echo was the best of all
   that I ever drew to my core.
She was
   the distil of the finest mist
   the ardour of the deepest hope
   the sigh in the sweetest dream
   the pearl in the saddest tear

Echo was the best of all
   that I ever pinned with my love.

Hurled into the whirlpool
   that swirled inward
      from the brink to the core
         by the charm of my warmth
Echo was the best of all
   that ever pined for the best. 

I am the best.

I am the core of the fire
  that burns in the human heart
I am the heart of the calm
   that lies in the deepest ocean
I am the spirit that throbs
   in every waft of the air
I am the life that aches
   in every seed in the soil
I am the force that snaps
   the chains that bind the soul
I am alpha and omega
   the beginning and the end

I am Narcissus
Whose love is a whirlwind
That sweeps over the horizon
Drawing everything into my heart.
I love them all because they are all mine.
Mine.
Mine was she.

Echo was the best that I ever made mine.

Echo is now a sound
   that haunts the horizon
      unable to snap the cords
         stretched tight across her breast
            by my love.

Love is a great transmuter.

I long to draw the universe to my core
And hold it in a tight hug
And mumble gently,
“I love you!  I love you!”


Notes
1.      The similarity of the first stanza to the opening lines of T. S. Eliot’s The Waste Land is not coincidental.
2.      The original Narcissus of Greek mythology spurned the love of Echo, because he was too much in love with himself. The Narcissus of this poem loves Echo, but he loves the whole universe, longs to hold the universe in his embrace.
3.  The poem was written more than twenty years ago, about a year after my marriage. 
4.  I'm posting it again after so many years simply because the poem has been rising in my consciousness again and again these days with a meaning quite different from what I had in mind when I originally wrote it. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Adventures of Toto as a comic strip

  'The Adventures of Toto' is an amusing story by Ruskin Bond. It is prescribed as a lesson in CBSE's English course for class 9. Maggie asked her students to do a project on some of the lessons and Femi George's work is what I would like to present here. Femi converted the story into a beautiful comic strip. Her work will speak for itself and let me present it below.  Femi George Student of Carmel Public School, Vazhakulam, Kerala Similar post: The Little Girl

The Little Girl

The Little Girl is a short story by Katherine Mansfield given in the class 9 English course of NCERT. Maggie gave an assignment to her students based on the story and one of her students, Athena Baby Sabu, presented a brilliant job. She converted the story into a delightful comic strip. Mansfield tells the story of Kezia who is the eponymous little girl. Kezia is scared of her father who wields a lot of control on the entire family. She is punished severely for an unwitting mistake which makes her even more scared of her father. Her grandmother is fond of her and is her emotional succour. The grandmother is away from home one day with Kezia's mother who is hospitalised. Kezia gets her usual nightmare and is terrified. There is no one at home to console her except her father from whom she does not expect any consolation. But the father rises to the occasion and lets the little girl sleep beside him that night. She rests her head on her father's chest and can feel his heart...

Dopamine

Fiction Mathai went to the kitchen and picked up a glass. The TV was screening a program called Ask the Doctor . “Dopamine is a sort of hormone that gives us a feeling of happiness or pleasure,” the doc said. “But the problem with it is that it makes us want more of the same thing. You feel happy with one drink and you obviously want more of it. More drink means more happiness…” That’s when Mathai went to pick up his glass and the brandy bottle. It was only morning still. Annamma, his wife, had gone to school as usual to teach Gen Z, an intractable generation. Mathai had retired from a cooperative bank where he was manager in the last few years of his service. Now, as a retired man, he took to watching the TV. It will be more correct to say that he took to flicking channels. He wanted entertainment, but the films and serial programs failed to make sense to him, let alone entertain. The news channels were more entertaining. Our politicians are like the clowns in a circus, he thought...

The Vegetarian

Book Review Title: The Vegetarian Author: Han Kang Translator: Deborah Smith [from Korean] Publisher: Granta, London, 2018 Pages: 183 Insanity can provide infinite opportunities to a novelist. The protagonist of Nobel laureate Han Kang’s Booker-winner novel, The Vegetarian , thinks of herself as a tree. One can argue with ample logic and conviction that trees are far better than humans. “Trees are like brothers and sisters,” Yeong-hye, the protagonist, says. She identifies herself with the trees and turns vegetarian one day. Worse, she gives up all food eventually. Of course, she ends up in a mental hospital. The Vegetarian tells Yeong-hye’s tragic story on the surface. Below that surface, it raises too many questions that leave us pondering deeply. What does it mean to be human? Must humanity always entail violence? Is madness a form of truth, a more profound truth than sanity’s wisdom? In the disturbing world of this novel, trees represent peace, stillness, and nonviol...

Dine in Eden

If you want to have a typical nonvegetarian Malayali lunch or dinner in a serene village in Kerala, here is the Garden of Eden all set for you at Ramapuram [literally ‘Abode of Rama’] in central Kerala. The place has a temple each for Rama and his three brothers: Lakshmana, Bharata, and Shatrughna. It is believed that Rama meditated in this place during his exile and also that his brothers joined him for a while. Right in the heart of the small town is a Catholic church which is an imposing structure that makes an eloquent assertion of religious identity. Quite close to all these religious places is the Garden of Eden, Eden Thoppu in Malayalam, a toddy shop with a difference. Toddy is palm wine, a mild alcoholic drink collected from palm trees. In my childhood, toddy was really natural; i.e., collected from palm trees including coconut trees which are ubiquitous in Kerala. My next-door neighbours, two brothers who lived in the same house, were toddy-tappers. Toddy was a health...