Skip to main content

Nights of Scorpions

 

The Pieta

In one of his best-known poems, ‘Night of the Scorpion,’ poet Nissim Ezekiel describes the agony of a mother who was stung by a scorpion. Those were days when the rustic people would rely on traditional cures rather than take the victim to a hospital. So the “peasants [who] came like swarm of flies” “buzzed the name of God a hundred times” and uttered prayers and chants. They believed that the sins of her previous birth would burn away in her present pain and that the misfortunes of her next birth would be decreased. Her pain would make its momentous contribution to the balancing of the sum of all evil in this illusory world.

Some twenty hours pass before the pain loses its sting. When it does, the mother’s consolation is: “Thank God the scorpion picked on me / And spared my children.”

That is mother’s love.

Mother is an emotion, an emotional bond. Perhaps no other person on earth – perceived as a concept – has received so much attention from poets, artists and sculptors. Michelangelo’s Pieta housed in St Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican is one of the most enduring and endearing tributes to maternity. The dead body of Jesus lies in Mary’s lap. That was the final sword that pierced Mary’s heart.

When Jesus was taken to the Jerusalem Temple for the presentation ritual, the holy man Simeon prophesied that the child was going to rewrite history as well as drive a sword through Mary’s heart. The sword must have pierced Mary’s heart many times like when Jesus asked, ‘Who is my mother?’.

Jesus had a messianic duty to fulfil and hence the sword – the distancing between him and his mother – was unavoidable. Family ties have little role to play in the life of a messiah. The messianic vision is cosmic. Messianic redemption cannot be limited to a family. Hence the mother will have to lose her son. That sword is inevitable.

The rather unpleasant truth is that every mother’s heart is always susceptible to swords. Every child begins life as a part of its mother. The part-whole relationship continues for a few years of infancy and early childhood. For the mother, the child always remains a part of her though the child will grow up and become a separate individual who has to find his or her place on the earth. Time will undoubtedly pass steadily and draw the mother and the child apart.

We live in a world today that draws the mother and the child apart too soon. One reason is that most mothers are working women today. They have to attend to their jobs during the daytime. For some mothers, it could be night-time. Children are deprived of the most affectionate touch they can get in the world. They are deprived of the emotional warmth that can come from nowhere else but a mother’s heart. A child that grows up without getting that touch and warmth is likely to be an unwholesome personality. No wonder, we have too many abandoned parents today living in old-age homes or living separated from their adult children.

Psychologist Erik Erikson argues that the mother lays the foundation of the personality. He calls it ‘basic trust’. Basic trust is the cornerstone of the psychologically healthy personality, according to him. He defines it as “an attitude toward oneself and the world derived from the experiences of the first year of life.” Trust, for him, implies both trusting others and oneself: trustfulness and trustworthiness.

This attitude is established first in the mother-child relationship. It is at first an unconscious process. Every hug from the mother, every kiss of hers, every touch of hers, adds to that trust and reinforces it. With each of those, the child begins to feel an increasing sense of security. It is that sense of security which eventually helps him/her deal with adult crisis situations.

Philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer (1788-1860) illustrates eloquently the importance of a healthy mother-child relationship. Schopenhauer’s mother was a popular novelist who considered herself a genius. She had a temperament and temper too, as Will Durant puts it. She was unhappy with her prosaic husband and when he died she took to free love. Schopenhauer could not bring himself to love his mother at any time. Consequently, he grew up to hate all women. Not only women, alas, he hated the entire mankind. He became one of the most pessimistic philosophers of all time. Speaking about his pessimism, Will Durant says, “a man who has not known a mother’s love – and worse, has known a mother’s hatred – has no cause to be infatuated with the world.”

The mother matters much. The mother shapes the personality. The mother determines whether the child will grow up to be a saint or a sinner, a philosopher or an entrepreneur, a success or a failure. William Makepeace Thackeray was not exaggerating when he said that “Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.”

Life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a mother, as a wit put it. We learn the primary lessons of life, the basic life skills, from mother. Mother is the shaper of destinies. Mother is indeed a god in that regard. Pain is part of her being as much as love is. There is no love without concomitant pain. Nights of scorpions are every mother’s prerogatives.

 

PS. This was originally written for an eBook that might have been published for all I know. The editor-compiler didn’t care to send me a copy of the book though I was invited to its online release. Now months have passed. So I take the liberty to post it here.

PPS. This blog is participating in The Blogchatter’s #MyFriendAlexa2021 campaign.

 

Comments

  1. beautiful writing about the power a mother holds..it made me reflect on myself and my relationship with my mother😁

    ReplyDelete
  2. Every word written here is true, the reason many young couples, who got this awareness refuse to bring children to this world. The society, unfortunately, tends to look down upon them for being sincere to themselves as well to the the children remaining unborn.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed such decisions deserve great respect. It's no use bringing children into existence unless one can't ensure their healthy growth and development.

      Delete
  3. Nice post on Mother and Motherhood. She is the God on Earth.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well said Sir, " Mother is the shaper of destinies". The only unconditional love that exist in the world even before the arrival of the baby is mother's love!

    Archana
    archusblog

    ReplyDelete
  5. Excellent post on motherhood and the mother-child relationship + how it shapes us as adults.
    - shinjinim.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. There is a Shakespearean tragedy when it comes to mother and child. What you said about how a child is always a part of the mother and thus a mother must bear the pain of "losing" the child is both heroic [child no longer needs mother] and tragic. There is so much tied in that one relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mothers are such beautiful people and douch to shape the hearts and minds of their children. Beautifully written!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow this is such a beautifully penned post. Loved reading this

    ReplyDelete
  9. nice post on mother and motherhood, so touching

    ReplyDelete
  10. While i do agree with most of what you have written i cannot agree to the lines that a working mother's children are deprived of warmth too soon. If anything else a working mom is made to feel too guilty that she tries to overdo what perhaps a stay at mom can not.
    Having said that i do agree mothers hold a very essential place in moulding the child. Also i haven't got your name in reading list i came on my own 😃

    Deepika Sharma

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Deepika for being with me on your own.

      I worked for 8 years in a girls school, my first job. I was young, all my students were girls and more importantly all my colleagues were female for a short period. My colleagues taught me about this problem of a working woman-mother. It is a problem. But we overlook it out of certain compulsions and necessities.

      We can discuss this further if you wish... 😊

      Delete
  11. Such a heart touching piece, such is the love of a mother.

    ReplyDelete
  12. This is such a beautiful post on motherhood and mothers.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Beautiful post on mother and motherhood. It's the mother's affection and guidance that makes or mars the personality of a child.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I totally agree with the fact that there is no other bond stronger than a mother-child's bond specially in the early years. " For the mother, the child always remains a part of her though the child will grow up and become a separate individual who has to find his or her place on the earth." this is also absolutely true.
    However , I do think that mother's have been conditioned by the society to act as martyrs and self-sacrificing for their children. so much so that even if they take some time off from mommy duties it brings with it guilt that debilates and eats away the soul.
    There needs to be a balance and a realization that mothers are also persons in their own right with their own dreams and desires

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wonderful post! Very honest and thought provoking.

    ReplyDelete
  16. You have compiled so many ancient meaningful stories which are relatable to life. It is the best post I have read today.

    ReplyDelete
  17. wow. coudnt agree more with your words. how true is a mothers love, sometimes we often ted to not acknowledge it.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I have read this elsewhere too. A touch can reinforce their trust in us parents. Our parents did it rarely as they were busy making ends meet. But, we can try and do it as much as possible.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Very well written sir. This is the irony of life whomever your are more attached with feels the most pain and that's true with mother child relationship. Despite of sharing the strongest bound... Going away makes it very painful.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Adventures of Toto as a comic strip

  'The Adventures of Toto' is an amusing story by Ruskin Bond. It is prescribed as a lesson in CBSE's English course for class 9. Maggie asked her students to do a project on some of the lessons and Femi George's work is what I would like to present here. Femi converted the story into a beautiful comic strip. Her work will speak for itself and let me present it below.  Femi George Student of Carmel Public School, Vazhakulam, Kerala Similar post: The Little Girl

The Second Crucifixion

  ‘The Second Crucifixion’ is the title of the last chapter of Dominique Lapierre and Larry Collins’s magnum opus Freedom at Midnight . The sub-heading is: ‘New Delhi, 30 January 1948’. Seventy-three years ago, on that day, a great soul was shot dead by a man who was driven by the darkness of hatred. Gandhi has just completed his usual prayer session. He had recited a prayer from the Gita:                         For certain is death for the born                         and certain is birth for the dead;                         Therefore over the inevitable                         Thou shalt not grieve . At that time Narayan Apte and Vishnu Karkare were moving to Retiring Room Number 6 at the Old Delhi railway station. They walked like thieves not wishing to be noticed by anyone. The early morning’s winter fog of Delhi gave them the required wrap. They found Nathuram Godse already awake in the retiring room. The three of them sat together and finalised the plot against Gand

The Final Farewell

Book Review “ Death ends life, not a relationship ,” as Mitch Albom put it. That is why, we have so many rituals associated with death. Minakshi Dewan’s book, The Final Farewell [HarperCollins, 2023], is a well-researched book about those rituals. The book starts with an elaborate description of the Sikh rituals associated with death and cremation, before moving on to Islam, Zoroastrianism, Christianity, and finally Hinduism. After that, it’s all about the various traditions and related details of Hindu final rites. A few chapters are dedicated to the problems of widows in India, gender discrimination in the last rites, and the problem of unclaimed dead bodies. There is a chapter titled ‘Grieving Widows in Hindi Cinema’ too. Death and its rituals form an unusual theme for a book. Frankly, I don’t find the topic stimulating in any way. Obviously, I didn’t buy this book. It came to me as quite many other books do – for reasons of their own. I read the book finally, having shelv

Cats and Love

No less a psychologist than Freud said that the “time spent with cats is never wasted.” I find time to spend with cats precisely for that reason. They are not easy to love, particularly if they are the country variety which are not quite tameable, and mine are those. What makes my love affair with my cats special is precisely their unwillingness to befriend me. They’d rather be in their own company. “In ancient time, cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this,” Terry Pratchett says. My cats haven’t, I’m sure. Pratchett knew what he was speaking about because he loved cats which appear frequently in his works. Pratchett’s cats love independence, very unlike dogs. Dogs come when you call them; cats take a message and get back to you as and when they please. I don’t have dogs. But my brother’s dogs visit us – Maggie and me – every evening. We give them something to eat and they love that. They spend time with us after eating. My cats just go away without even a look af

Vultures and Religion

When vultures become extinct, why should a religion face a threat? “When the vultures died off, they stopped eating the bodies of Zoroastrians…” I was amused as I went on reading the book The Final Farewell by Minakshi Dewan. The book is about how the dead are dealt with by people of different religious persuasions. Dead people are quite useless, unless you love euphemism. Or, as they say, dead people tell no tales. In the end, we are all just stories made by people like the religious woman who wrote the epitaph for her atheist husband: “Here lies an atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.” Zoroastrianism is a religion which converts death into a sordid tale by throwing the corpses of its believers to vultures. Death makes one impure, according to that religion. Well, I always thought, and still do, that life makes one impure. I have the support of Lord Buddha on that. Life is dukkha , said the Enlightened. That is, suffering, dissatisfaction and unease. Death is liberation