Skip to main content

Happy Onam



“Guro,” called out Maveli. 

Maveli is the asura hypocorism for the deva name Mahabali.  Kerala is advertised by the Tourism Department as “God’s Own Country.”  But the people of Kerala love asura hypocorisms.  You can’t blame the people, really.  Like their favourite King, Maveli, quite many of them have been expatriated.  Those who are not expatriated geographically (or literally, if you wish) adopt expatriation by intoxication.  And expatriates love nostalgic hypocorisms.

Kerala is the land of expatriates.  Pravasi is the most favourite word in the state.  Every pravasi is supposed to be living in bliss.   If there is any Malayali pravasi who is not living in such blissful condition, Benyamin or Mukundan will write Aadujeevitham or Pravasam in honour of the hapless pravasi’s nostalgia for God’s Own Country which is actually Maveli’s Own Country.  And Maveli was an asura, a demon.

“Prabho, My Lord,” came Maveli’s Guru, Sukracharya hearing Maveli’s call. 

Sukracharya was Maveli’s priest and guide, mentor and teacher, before the deva Vishnu came in the form of Dwarf and deceived Maveli.

Flashback

Time: Pre-historic

Scene: Maveli’s Palace in Asura’s Own Country

Enter Dwarf bearing a queer mix of boyhood innocence and godhood malice and wearing the sacred thread of Brahminhood.

Dwarf:           Your Majesty, I live far below the poverty line.  I cannot even apply for the Aadhar card without which your government will not even let me have cooking gas.  Give me just three feet of land and I’ll manage somehow.  You are the most generous king of kings, dayalu of dayalus, prema yogi and karma yogi...”

Dwarf unfolds a leather vesicle and takes out Amul butter.

Dwarf:           The best butter available in Gods’ Own Heavens, Your Majesty.

Maveli:          Thank you, aditi.  Order me, what can I do for you?  Whatever your wish, it will be granted.

Enter Sukracharya with a stunned expression and whispers something in the ear of Maveli.

Maveli:          No, Guro.  I may be a demon by hierarchy, but I am honest by cultivation.  This is Asuras’ Own Country.  I cannot go back on my word.  [To Dwarf]  Tell me, Boy, what is your wish?

Dwarf:           Just three feet of land, Your Majesty.  But I will measure it out with my own foot.  [The word foot resounds in the PA systems of Asuras’ Own Country.]

Maveli:          Only three feet of land?  Measure it out for yourself wherever you wish in Asuras’ Own Proud Country.

Sukracharya begins to pack his American Tourister bags.

Dwarf suddenly begins to grow large.  He grows so large that the sun is blacked out.  Maveli stands unfazed. 

Maveli:          You are a deva.  I am an asura.  I accept your verdict.  I shall go to the patalam, underworld.  I have nothing to give you in return.  So please condescend to take this Amul butter back and grant me a wish.

Dwarf-turned-giant: [imperiously – but accepting the Amul butter smacking his lips] What’s your wish?

Maveli:          Allow me to visit my praja once a year.

Dwarf-turned-god: Oh, only that?  Granted.

Exit god from Maveli’s Own Country with Amul butter clutched close to his heart.

Back to Present Time

Maveli:          Guro, I’m going on my annual visit to Asuras’ Own Country.

Sukracharya: You’ve never cared to listen to me, Your Majesty.  Yet it’s my duty to advise you not to go.

Maveli:          Never mind, Guro.  I don’t foresee any danger.  There are no genuine devas anymore anywhere.

Sukracharya: There are no genuine asuras either, Your Majesty.

Maveli:          That’s precisely why I have to go, Guro.  Good bye.  See you soon.

Sukracharya: Happy Onam to you, Your Majesty.





Labels:

Comments

  1. IndraniSeptember 15, 2013 at 6:41 PM

    A very happy Onam to you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Karan SampatSeptember 15, 2013 at 6:51 PM

    A Happy Onam to you sir..!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousSeptember 15, 2013 at 7:32 PM

    Happy Onam to you too :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousSeptember 15, 2013 at 10:21 PM

    Happy Onam to you.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. EduPubSeptember 16, 2013 at 10:43 AM

    Wonderful write up. Enjoyed the way of making the old thing new to many through writing.
    Read it Here

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalSeptember 16, 2013 at 7:04 PM

      Whenever I think of Maveli and Onam, I get confused. Who were better: the devas or the asuras? And the problem is not an ancient one. That's why the ancient is tangled with the contemporary in this satire.

      Delete
  6. Anil KrishnanunniSeptember 16, 2013 at 11:30 AM

    Happy Onam Sir :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anita SabatSeptember 16, 2013 at 1:35 PM

    Amul Butter is Utterly Butterly Delicious even for the Devas & Asuras!
    But, Coconut Oil is used to preapre the yummy Onam feast, right?!!! :)
    A very Happy Onam!
    Enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalSeptember 16, 2013 at 7:06 PM

      You're right, yesterday I bought half a litre of coconut oil just for Onam's sake.

      Thanks for the greetings.

      Delete
  8. Zainab Ummer FarookSeptember 16, 2013 at 2:43 PM

    This reimagining of Mahabali's story brought a smile to my face. Well-written!

    Happy Onam :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalSeptember 16, 2013 at 7:06 PM

      I wonder what Maveli would think seeing present day Kerala which is quite the opposite of what he had created.

      Delete
  9. UnknownSeptember 16, 2013 at 2:59 PM

    happy Onam sir!

    ReplyDelete
  10. RajeshSeptember 16, 2013 at 4:56 PM

    Happy Onam.

    ReplyDelete
  11. GurujiSeptember 16, 2013 at 7:44 PM

    Didnt quite get the role of Amul butter, nevertheless, happy Onam to you. Btw, the story is simple, yet open to few philosophical interpretations - like everything else religious - one is that there is no such thing as ultimate good and bad, but the gods and their way. Second one could be a bit biblical - Mahabali as anybody else was born with 'original sin'(due to his Asura genes), but his karma made him a purer person. It can go on for a few more..but ultimately its all just myths and stories.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalSeptember 17, 2013 at 12:44 PM

      Don't take it very seriously, Santhosh. I meant it as light satire.

      Happy Onam to you too.

      Amul butter was brought in to connect thre ancient with the contemporary. After all, gods live in eternity and there should be no gap between the past and present in eternity: there cannot be past and present in eternity.

      I agree with you that the Asura Maveli was far better than the Deva Vamana, because of his karma. I too believe in the importance of karma.

      Ultimately Maveli and Vamana are mythical figures. How we interpret them is what matters. This particular blog of mine is not meant to be taken very seriously.

      Delete
  12. UnknownSeptember 23, 2013 at 4:55 PM

    I have heard about Onam but I don't know it's history. May be it's high time to Google it. Anyway, happy Onam! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalSeptember 23, 2013 at 7:24 PM

      I've put the legend behind Onam in this post in a satirical way. It's an interesting legend in which the Asura king, Maveli, turns out to be superior to the gods!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Adventures of Toto as a comic strip

  'The Adventures of Toto' is an amusing story by Ruskin Bond. It is prescribed as a lesson in CBSE's English course for class 9. Maggie asked her students to do a project on some of the lessons and Femi George's work is what I would like to present here. Femi converted the story into a beautiful comic strip. Her work will speak for itself and let me present it below.  Femi George Student of Carmel Public School, Vazhakulam, Kerala Similar post: The Little Girl
47 comments
Read more

Shooting an Elephant

George Orwell [1903-1950] We had an anthology of classical essays as part of our undergrad English course. Shooting an Elephant by George Orwell was one of the essays. The horror of political hegemony is the core theme of the essay. Orwell was a subdivisional police officer of the British Empire in Burma (today Myanmar) when he was forced to shoot an elephant. The elephant had gone musth (an Urdu term for the temporary insanity of male elephants when they are in need of a female) and Orwell was asked to control the commotion created by the giant creature. By the time Orwell reached with his gun, the elephant had become normal. Yet Orwell shot it. The first bullet stunned the animal, the second made him waver, and Orwell had to empty the entire magazine into the elephant’s body in order to put an end to its mammoth suffering. “He was dying,” writes Orwell, “very slowly and in great agony, but in some world remote from me where not even a bullet could damage him further…. It seeme...
11 comments
Read more

The Little Girl

The Little Girl is a short story by Katherine Mansfield given in the class 9 English course of NCERT. Maggie gave an assignment to her students based on the story and one of her students, Athena Baby Sabu, presented a brilliant job. She converted the story into a delightful comic strip. Mansfield tells the story of Kezia who is the eponymous little girl. Kezia is scared of her father who wields a lot of control on the entire family. She is punished severely for an unwitting mistake which makes her even more scared of her father. Her grandmother is fond of her and is her emotional succour. The grandmother is away from home one day with Kezia's mother who is hospitalised. Kezia gets her usual nightmare and is terrified. There is no one at home to console her except her father from whom she does not expect any consolation. But the father rises to the occasion and lets the little girl sleep beside him that night. She rests her head on her father's chest and can feel his heart...
19 comments
Read more

Urban Naxal

Fiction “We have to guard against the urban Naxals who are the biggest threat to the nation’s unity today,” the Prime Minister was saying on the TV. He was addressing an audience that stood a hundred metres away for security reasons. It was the birth anniversary of Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel which the Prime Minister had sanctified as National Unity Day. “In order to usurp the Sardar from the Congress,” Mathew said. The clarification was meant for Alice, his niece who had landed from London a couple of days back.    Mathew had retired a few months back as a lecturer in sociology from the University of Kerala. He was known for his radical leftist views. He would be what the PM calls an urban Naxal. Alice knew that. Her mother, Mathew’s sister, had told her all about her learned uncle’s “leftist perversions.” “Your uncle thinks that he is a Messiah of the masses,” Alice’s mother had warned her before she left for India on a short holiday. “Don’t let him infiltrate your brai...
14 comments
Read more

Egregious

·       Donald Trump terminated all trade negotiations with Canada “based on their egregious behaviour.” ·       Pakistan has an egregious record of assassinations among its leaders. ·       Benjamin Netanyahu’s egregious disregard for civilian suffering has drawn widespread international condemnation. Now, look at the following sentences. ·       Archias is an egregious and most excellent man. [Cicero’s speech in 62 BCE] ·       “An egregious captain and most valiant soldier.” [Roger Ascham in 1545] U p to about 16 th century, the word egregious had a positive meaning: excellent or outstanding . Cicero was defending Greek poet Aulus Licinius Archias’s request for Roman citizenship. Archias had left his country out of disgust for the corruption of its Seleucid rulers. Ascham was speaking about the qualities of valiant soldiers when he used the ...
6 comments
Read more