Insipid humour like life
“Yes, Sir, I was just
thinking of you,” said Dr Prerna when Dr Rakesh walked into her office. He was not even in the most remotest part of
her thinking. He knew it too. That was just one of their many secrets.
Dr Prerna had done her PhD
on the artistry of octopus tentacles and Dr Rakesh’s thesis was about the destiny
of leeches for sucking blood. The former
was the principal of the school and the latter was a leading
principal-aspirant. The latter warmed up
to the former hoping that she would recommend him for the vacant vice-principal’s
chair and the former entertained the latter as he played the role of both the
stooge and the snitch. Having buried his
soul in the most dishonest flattery and having informed on all his colleagues who
matter, Dr Rakesh would cover up the stench and filth of his inner rot beneath his
three-piece suit.
“Your disrobe looks fabulous
today,” said Dr Rakesh as usual trying to flatter his boss’s new dress.
“What?” Dr Prerna was
scandalised in spite of herself.
Dr Rakesh’s knowledge of
English was one of the many handicaps that he hid beneath his three-piece
suit. So he had sought the assistance of
the English teacher, Joyonto, to learn the name of the Queen’s latest garb
which looked like a hybrid between the cassock of Catholic priests and the habit
of Tibetan monks. The crooked Bong had
played a nasty game on him, realised Dr Rakesh. Saala, what does he think of himself? That eating fish-head will make him more
shrewd than Dr Rakesh? Let him wait and
watch what Dr Rakesh, the Chanakya of New India Residential Public School, has
in store for him.
While the Chanakya sat in
the air-conditioned office of his Queen, Joyonto was taking his usual evening
walk on the campus with his little son.
“Be careful,” he warned
his son. “Don’t fall down.”
“Why, dad?” asked the
boy. “What will happen if I fall?”
“Friends will laugh,” said
Joyonto.
One of Joyonto’s friends
was having his laughs sitting in the Principal’s office. “He is promiscuous,” Dr Rakesh had learnt
that word from Joyonto the other day. “Have
you noticed the way he flirts with the lady teachers?”
Promiscuity was a good allegation,
thought Dr Prerna. She encouraged the
stooge to exercise his creative imagination and fabricate some substantiating
episodes for Joyonto’s promiscuity.
Every staff member has to be kept in his or her place. A principal who doesn’t know how to do that
is a potential failure.
“Your AC is very good,”
said Dr Rakesh having come to the end of the creativity of his
imagination. He thought it wise to
depart from the disrobe while flattering the Queen.
“Sir, sir,” the Queen
became suddenly excited. That was one of
her diseases. “Have you heard the joke
about the patient who complained about the cold in the operation theatre?”
“No, tell me, madam.” He said though he had heard the joke
twenty-five times since the lady assumed her present office.
“The AC is very cold, said
the patient. Then the doc said, if you
find this cold unbearable how will you bear the cold in the mortuary?”
Dr Rakesh roared with
laughter. “Oh, I’m sorry. You made me laugh so loud,” he apologised.
Don’t be sorry, you
numbskull! The Queen said in her
heart. Your mortuary is getting ready.
:)
ReplyDelete:) :)
Delete“Your disrobe looks fabulous today,” :-D :-D
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you have come across such characters in real life.
DeleteWhat a character! I would have sued you for slander on my name, but for the laugh. :D
ReplyDeleteToo funny, sir! And, yes... I've really come across such creatures in the corporate world. :D
Your name is as common as the moon :)
DeleteToday schools are more corporate than the corporate world!
I liked the choice of the topics.I myself had a narrow escape with errant behaviour of nauplius larvae under xyz conditions. Now you made me wonder if there was more to the name ..eh?
ReplyDeleteLarvae are very common in today's workplaces. They take upon themselves the mission of ruining those who have greater potential than them.
DeleteOctopus - brainy yet hideous, doomed when they meet their mate. The principal satisfaction for the principal would be just promiscuous tales....:)
ReplyDeletePower corrupts necessarily?
Delete