Power of Solitude

“Hell is other people,” as Jean-Paul Sartre said. In his play, No Exit, three characters arrive in the drawing room of Hell.  There is no fire, no torture, no devils in Hell unlike what their religion had taught.  Soon they realise that hell is other people.  “All those eyes intent on me.  Devouring me.  What?  Only two of you?  I thought there were more; many more. So this is hell. I’d never have believed it. You remember all we were told about the torture-chambers, the fire and brimstone, the ‘burning marl’. Old wives’ tales! There’s no need for red-hot pokers. HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE!”

Human beings, including me, are jealous, greedy, manipulative, crooked and wicked.  We make life hell for others.  We enjoy doing that.  In fact, most of life is precisely that: creating hell for others. 

A lot of people who posed themselves as my well-wishers created the hell of my youth.  I lived in perpetual depression for about five years because of my well-wishers most of whom were professionally religious people.  It took me years to gather the courage to say goodbye to such people for ever.  Rather it took me years to realise that my happiness was not dependent on their approval and appreciation; that happiness is my own creation, in the privacy of my home and hearth, in the solitude of my heart.

Religious people create hells both metaphorically and concretely.  Look at what’s happening in India in the last three years and you’ll realise how capable religion is of creating hells for other people.  There’s no escape from other people except the temporary relief you create in your solitude.

We are condemned to live with other people as Sartre argued.  And the other people insist on shaming us, making us feel like disgraceful insects.  I spent my youth fighting that shame. During my middle age I learnt to walk the tightrope between my private joys and the ineluctable public shame.  Now as old age is catching up, I have learnt to smile at that shame which is still a faithful companion. 

My solitude is my strength.  There is someone who loves me in my personal wilderness.  One person.  One who has endured with me the disgrace called life.  She is my strength too.

PS. Written for indiSpire Edition 200: #EmbraceLife