Ladies and Gentlemen,
Here we are at the close
of 2017. Uneasy lies the head that wears
the crown, the Bard declared some four centuries ago. But we now live in a different world where
heroes are the happiest people. That’s
all the more reason to celebrate them.
Welcome to The Great Indian Hero
Show.
The Machiavelli Award of the year goes to
Yup, you guessed it right
to
None other than
Our Most Beloved, His
Highness, the Gym Chested, the Bravado among the Bravest, the Star among
Superstars, the Gulliver among Voyagers, the Chanakya of the 21st
Century, our very own Prayan Mantri, Mr Narendra Modi. Niccolo Machiavelli, the author of the
classical handbook for rulers – The
Prince – said: “The lion cannot protect himself from traps, and the fox
cannot defend himself from wolves. One must therefore be a fox to recognize
traps, and a lion to frighten wolves.”
Mr Modi has successfully trapped foxes and frightened lions right from
the year 2002 till date. He has proved right
the Machiavellian saying that it is much safer to be feared than loved. Look at the way his enemies are cowering in
fear when new rules are passed with the ease of snapping fingers and tapping
feet. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, India
is proud of this Superstar, this man who has visited more countries than any
Prime Minister of India, who has more sent shivers down the spines of kingdoms than
any king of any country, the man who can make your money black or white
overnight, the man who can make you a king or a beggar with the snap of a finger, a man
who can transmute the entire history of a nation, who can do plastic surgery on
God Ganesha, yes, ladies and gentlemen, The
Machiavelli Award of the year for
the most penetrating ruler goes to
The Durvasa Award of the Year goes to
Yup
Who else but our very
beloved Yogi who has cast the most diabolic curses on the enemies of the
nation. And has exculpated himself from
the countless criminal charges against him with the mere stroke of a pen. He has proved that the pen is mightier than
the sword with the ease of throwing a dead body into the holy Ganga. He has proved that his state is more literate
than Kerala, more tolerant than Sikkim, more beef – sorry, cow-loving – than Nagaland,
snowier than Kashmir, holier than Kedarnath, calmer than Kamarup, and ladies
and gentlemen, Yogier than Yogi Adityanath, the Durvasa of deshdrohis, the
nemesis of you-name-it…
The Veer Savarkar Award
Oh, you guessed it
already,
okay then no intros,
goes to
our very contemporary
Veer, the veerest of the veer, the unifier of the nation, the Hinduest of all
Hindus, the nationalist of all nationalists, the queerest of all queers, the weirdest
of all beardless yogis, the greatest moustache among the Sanghis
yes, to one and only
Mohan Bhag – yes, bhag, clap your hands ladies and gentlemen, for our own
Bhag-Bhag-Bhagwat.
Thank you, ladies and
gentlemen, for being part of this Award Ceremony.
Disclaimer: Why all Right wing people raise their left hand while delivering their pompous promises is still a mystery.
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