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This too will pass?

The village where I live now


I have passed through hells. Some of them were creations of my own immaturity and other personal drawbacks and quite many were generously awarded by people who decided that I deserved them. Religious people are particularly adept at creating hells for others who they regard as sinners.

There were times when I thought that life was an endless pain. There were moments when I longed to put an end to it. I wished to hide myself in some fathomless cave on a wild mountain. A few individuals, hardly one or two, were kind enough to counsel me in those times: “This too will pass.”

I was not at all certain that it would pass. On the contrary, I accepted my definition of life as an endless pain with certain Buddhist resignation and acquired stoicism.  When I left my lecturer’s job in Shillong at the age of 41, in utter despair and apparent disrepair, I had no hope of a bright future ahead. It was a risk that I decided to take before putting an end to everything altogether. The risk turned out to be worth it.

Delhi offered me just the kind of life I had dreamt of: a residential school with sylvan surroundings and cosy staff quarters. That is the institution where I worked for the longest period: 14 years. I would have retired from there had the school not been shut down by a religious cult which emerged like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

I can understand the evil motives of cults and organisations, however noble they may look like from the outside. But what really shocked me was the duplicity of some of those religious people who pretended to be the noblest of souls while they carried a legion of demons within. I tried to convince myself that “this too would pass.” But I was wrong. I passed instead. I moved out of the institution just like all the others who worked or studied there.

Some things pass and some don’t. Some pain is inevitable in life. Some lessons are learnt only through immense pains. In the end, those lessons are what really matter.

 PS. Written for Indispire Edition 248: #ThisTooWillPass



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Comments

  1. Abhijit RayNovember 22, 2018 at 9:58 AM

    Nice narration of personal experience. It is unfortunate that you had to quit a place you loved to be part of and retire peacefully. I guess like a flowing river, you have also moved on, seen some bad and some good things on your journey.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalNovember 22, 2018 at 3:32 PM

      Yes, i have acquired much grace along the way though mt writing may not always reflect that.

      Delete

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