There’s story of a 14-year-old boy named Derry,
narrated by Susan Hill. Derry has a personal problem: a horrible scar on side
of his face made by acid. He hates himself because of that scar and keeps
running away from people. In fact, he is running away from himself. Until he
comes across an old man, Mr Lamb.
Lamb teaches Derry that he is not his
scar. There is a scar on your face and it is far from attractive.
But you are not your scar. You are Derry with all the potential that every
normal boy has. What you are is your choice. If you look in the mirror and
choose to see only your scar every time, you will be the scar. Why don’t
you look at the numerous other things that are available? At the fruits in this
orchard, for example.
Lamb was sitting in his orchard when
Derry jumped over the wall. If you help me, we can gather these crab apples and
make jelly. We can make toffees with the honey. Or discover music in the
buzzing of the honeybees. We can do a lot of things other than look at scars
and wallow in self-pity.
Lamb teaches Derry the most
fundamental lesson of cognitive psychology: change your perspective and the
reality changes. In fairy tales, physical miracles take place. A fairy
comes and kisses the monster and the monster transforms into a handsome prince.
Such miracles don’t happen in real life. In real life, Derry has to give the
miraculous kiss to himself by transforming his attitudes.
Derry’s frustration melts away with
Lamb’s guidance.
How can we deal with our
frustrations?
I carried a lot of frustrations
within me for long. I saw myself as an utter failure. My wife was my constant
and only support in the period of my protracted depression. She was the Lamb in
my life. What did she teach me?
1. That I am largely
responsible for creating my own emotional problems. I carried too many
self-defeating beliefs about me as well as others and the world in general. I
learnt to question those beliefs and found that they were irrational.
2. I learnt that I have the
ability to change these irrational beliefs. I give the miraculous fairy kiss to
myself. You are not your limitations. You have so much goodness of various
types. Let that goodness shine. And a miracle begins to unfold.
3. This miracle doesn’t happen
once and for all. You have to make it happen again and again because the world
keeps throwing all kinds of challenges and irrationalities and insanities at
us. It’s a tough journey, this life. Get tough and get going.
4. Keep a guard on your
thinking. Your emotions are a product of your thinking. Frustrations flee when
you learn to think right.
PS.
Written for Inndispire Edition 453: How do you deal with
frustration? #Frustration
Hari OM
ReplyDeleteExcellent points! YAM xx
Thank you, Yam.
DeleteThis is the sort of self development that should be dealt with in school too but I suppose its not possible for a 1 on 1 interaction when you have over 50 students in a class.
ReplyDeleteThe number does matter. When I was teaching in Delhi there were only 20 students in a class. That made a huge difference. Plus, that was a residential school which means the students are with you day and night. Family. That school was killed by a godman. Now i work in a parody of that school.
DeleteNice article
ReplyDelete