Skip to main content

Cleopatra and Gaumata


Though India’s own Entrepreneur Baba keeps denouncing everything foreign as unhealthy for the holy people of Bharat, Gujarat Gauseva and Gauchar Vikas Board have imported Egypt’s own Cleopatra as the model of beauty for Bharatiya nari

According to these Gujarat gaurakshaks,
1.     Cleopatra was the most beautiful woman in the world.
2.     Cleopatra used cow’s milk for bathing.
3.     Therefore the Indian women should use cow’s dung and urine for enhancing their beauty.

Don’t ask me what the logic is in that syllogism.  Where on earth have you found logic in any religious assertions and scriptural truths?  Take it on faith.  Faith is “belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel,” as defined by the Devil’s own immortal Ambrose Bierce.  Forgive me for borrowing a foreign definition; Indians are yet to acquire that sort of sense of humour – we are still steeped in bovine scatological aesthetics.

Cleopatra in donkey's milk
According to reliable information available, Cleopatra used donkey’s milk for making herself seductive.  Nowhere in history do we find Cleopatra packing her face with donkey shit and massaging her face with donkey urine.  But our gaurakshaks are asking our women to use cow dung and cow urine in addition to cow milk, cow ghee and many other things if they want to be Cleopatra’s Indian counterparts.

Source: Economic Times

While the gau bhakts are trying to smear Bharatiya naris’ faces with cow milk and ghee and so on, we may remind ourselves of the fact that “a third of the world’s starving population live in India.”  The milk and ghee could find much better use.


Indian Bloggers




   

Comments

  1. Tomichan, when we were in our teen we used to apply milk cream because we believed that it bleached the tan away and egg white on the head, essentially sunday's became a stinky day, so stinky that we quit using it, Gaumutra ,cow shit -- sounds Bull shit, pun borrowed deliberately. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When the world moves on we keep ourselves buried in cow shit!

      Delete
  2. nice website thank you
    www.virtualtaskhub.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is disgusting!
    Thanks for the informative article.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It sounds positively disgusting !!Yuck !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm absolutely sure there are no women engaged in the research ☺

      Delete
  5. I have an absurd mocking smile on my face as I read this - cows, religion, beautiful women, patriarchy.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a funny world. Even when women are given a lot of liberty apparently, men find a way of keeping her under some excreta.

      Delete
  6. Achieving love and affection by looking beautiful and following all sorts of disgusting and painful processes to look beautiful - are these the only aim of women in their life? For example, the European ball dress with a broad ring bottom is designed to keep women standing for long hours without allowing them to sit in order to keep them slim.
    The sole aim of looking slim, young and beautiful is to entice men and that seems to be the only intention behind giving beauty tips. Why there hasn't been any tips given to women to look beautiful to improve their confidence levels and live life of their own choices? Why winning love and affection should be the sole aim of their keeping themselves fit?
    Also now-a-days there are whatsapp forwards that promote the importance of women only by quoting their sacrifices for their children, husband and parents as if they are the creatures to be sacrificed for the welfare of the family.
    Why are men so jealous of their terrific progress, I wonder. In ancient times, women were so powerful. They even fought wars. But men who were jealous always claim that physical strength is their lone asset. It is only ridiculous that men become so terribly attached to a few things like power, superior status, etc., in a social set up. They love to promote patriarchal society to hide all their weaknesses.
    The beauty tips referred in the blog are certainly prescribed by such outlandish creatures!

    The only solace for women is the presence of those men who have surmounted all such malicious thinking of men in general.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely valid points, madam. Haven't I been a constant supporter of women's rights? Real rights, I mean, not the right to smear their faces with cow shit or to stand in a straitjacket. Haven't I been a supporter of human rights all through? Haven't I been upholding values and principles? But what happens is that shit sellers run over people like you and me. Shit sells in the world, madam. Go to religious places and you will get shit. Go to politicians and you will get shitty shit. Go to more conservative organisations like RSSB and they will tell you that shit is reserved for their own people. Such is the world. We have to put up with it. Or else be frustrated with it.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Adventures of Toto as a comic strip

  'The Adventures of Toto' is an amusing story by Ruskin Bond. It is prescribed as a lesson in CBSE's English course for class 9. Maggie asked her students to do a project on some of the lessons and Femi George's work is what I would like to present here. Femi converted the story into a beautiful comic strip. Her work will speak for itself and let me present it below.  Femi George Student of Carmel Public School, Vazhakulam, Kerala Similar post: The Little Girl

The Little Girl

The Little Girl is a short story by Katherine Mansfield given in the class 9 English course of NCERT. Maggie gave an assignment to her students based on the story and one of her students, Athena Baby Sabu, presented a brilliant job. She converted the story into a delightful comic strip. Mansfield tells the story of Kezia who is the eponymous little girl. Kezia is scared of her father who wields a lot of control on the entire family. She is punished severely for an unwitting mistake which makes her even more scared of her father. Her grandmother is fond of her and is her emotional succour. The grandmother is away from home one day with Kezia's mother who is hospitalised. Kezia gets her usual nightmare and is terrified. There is no one at home to console her except her father from whom she does not expect any consolation. But the father rises to the occasion and lets the little girl sleep beside him that night. She rests her head on her father's chest and can feel his heart...

Dopamine

Fiction Mathai went to the kitchen and picked up a glass. The TV was screening a program called Ask the Doctor . “Dopamine is a sort of hormone that gives us a feeling of happiness or pleasure,” the doc said. “But the problem with it is that it makes us want more of the same thing. You feel happy with one drink and you obviously want more of it. More drink means more happiness…” That’s when Mathai went to pick up his glass and the brandy bottle. It was only morning still. Annamma, his wife, had gone to school as usual to teach Gen Z, an intractable generation. Mathai had retired from a cooperative bank where he was manager in the last few years of his service. Now, as a retired man, he took to watching the TV. It will be more correct to say that he took to flicking channels. He wanted entertainment, but the films and serial programs failed to make sense to him, let alone entertain. The news channels were more entertaining. Our politicians are like the clowns in a circus, he thought...

The Vegetarian

Book Review Title: The Vegetarian Author: Han Kang Translator: Deborah Smith [from Korean] Publisher: Granta, London, 2018 Pages: 183 Insanity can provide infinite opportunities to a novelist. The protagonist of Nobel laureate Han Kang’s Booker-winner novel, The Vegetarian , thinks of herself as a tree. One can argue with ample logic and conviction that trees are far better than humans. “Trees are like brothers and sisters,” Yeong-hye, the protagonist, says. She identifies herself with the trees and turns vegetarian one day. Worse, she gives up all food eventually. Of course, she ends up in a mental hospital. The Vegetarian tells Yeong-hye’s tragic story on the surface. Below that surface, it raises too many questions that leave us pondering deeply. What does it mean to be human? Must humanity always entail violence? Is madness a form of truth, a more profound truth than sanity’s wisdom? In the disturbing world of this novel, trees represent peace, stillness, and nonviol...

Stories from the North-East

Book Review Title: Lapbah: Stories from the North-East (2 volumes) Editors: Kynpham Sing Nongkynrih & Rimi Nath Publisher: Penguin Random House India 2025 Pages: 366 + 358   Nestled among the eastern Himalayas and some breathtakingly charming valleys, the Northeastern region of India is home to hundreds of indigenous communities, each with distinct traditions, attire, music, and festivals. Languages spoken range from Tibeto-Burman and Austroasiatic tongues to Indo-Aryan dialects, reflecting centuries of migration and interaction. Tribal matrilineal societies thrive in Meghalaya, while Nagaland and Mizoram showcase rich Christian tribal traditions. Manipur is famed for classical dance and martial arts, and Tripura and Arunachal Pradesh add further layers of ethnic plurality and ecological richness. Sikkim blends Buddhist heritage with mountainous serenity, and Assam is known for its tea gardens and vibrant Vaishnavite culture. Collectively, the Northeast is a uni...