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Cleopatra and Gaumata


Though India’s own Entrepreneur Baba keeps denouncing everything foreign as unhealthy for the holy people of Bharat, Gujarat Gauseva and Gauchar Vikas Board have imported Egypt’s own Cleopatra as the model of beauty for Bharatiya nari. 

According to these Gujarat gaurakshaks,
1.     Cleopatra was the most beautiful woman in the world.
2.     Cleopatra used cow’s milk for bathing.
3.     Therefore the Indian women should use cow’s dung and urine for enhancing their beauty.

Don’t ask me what the logic is in that syllogism.  Where on earth have you found logic in any religious assertions and scriptural truths?  Take it on faith.  Faith is “belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel,” as defined by the Devil’s own immortal Ambrose Bierce.  Forgive me for borrowing a foreign definition; Indians are yet to acquire that sort of sense of humour – we are still steeped in bovine scatological aesthetics.

Cleopatra in donkey's milk
According to reliable information available, Cleopatra used donkey’s milk for making herself seductive.  Nowhere in history do we find Cleopatra packing her face with donkey shit and massaging her face with donkey urine.  But our gaurakshaks are asking our women to use cow dung and cow urine in addition to cow milk, cow ghee and many other things if they want to be Cleopatra’s Indian counterparts.

Source: Economic Times

While the gau bhakts are trying to smear Bharatiya naris’ faces with cow milk and ghee and so on, we may remind ourselves of the fact that “a third of the world’s starving population live in India.”  The milk and ghee could find much better use.


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  1. parwatisingariOctober 12, 2016 at 8:09 AM

    Tomichan, when we were in our teen we used to apply milk cream because we believed that it bleached the tan away and egg white on the head, essentially sunday's became a stinky day, so stinky that we quit using it, Gaumutra ,cow shit -- sounds Bull shit, pun borrowed deliberately. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalOctober 12, 2016 at 8:33 AM

      When the world moves on we keep ourselves buried in cow shit!

      Delete
  2. Utpal KhotOctober 12, 2016 at 12:38 PM

    Thought provoking... :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownOctober 12, 2016 at 8:19 PM

    nice website thank you
    www.virtualtaskhub.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Purba chakrabortyOctober 13, 2016 at 1:45 AM

    This is disgusting!
    Thanks for the informative article.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Renu VyasOctober 13, 2016 at 1:48 PM

    It sounds positively disgusting !!Yuck !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalOctober 13, 2016 at 5:08 PM

      I'm absolutely sure there are no women engaged in the research ☺

      Delete
  6. sunaina sharmaOctober 14, 2016 at 3:07 AM

    I have an absurd mocking smile on my face as I read this - cows, religion, beautiful women, patriarchy.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalOctober 14, 2016 at 6:06 PM

      It's a funny world. Even when women are given a lot of liberty apparently, men find a way of keeping her under some excreta.

      Delete
  7. wingsOctober 14, 2016 at 8:46 PM

    Achieving love and affection by looking beautiful and following all sorts of disgusting and painful processes to look beautiful - are these the only aim of women in their life? For example, the European ball dress with a broad ring bottom is designed to keep women standing for long hours without allowing them to sit in order to keep them slim.
    The sole aim of looking slim, young and beautiful is to entice men and that seems to be the only intention behind giving beauty tips. Why there hasn't been any tips given to women to look beautiful to improve their confidence levels and live life of their own choices? Why winning love and affection should be the sole aim of their keeping themselves fit?
    Also now-a-days there are whatsapp forwards that promote the importance of women only by quoting their sacrifices for their children, husband and parents as if they are the creatures to be sacrificed for the welfare of the family.
    Why are men so jealous of their terrific progress, I wonder. In ancient times, women were so powerful. They even fought wars. But men who were jealous always claim that physical strength is their lone asset. It is only ridiculous that men become so terribly attached to a few things like power, superior status, etc., in a social set up. They love to promote patriarchal society to hide all their weaknesses.
    The beauty tips referred in the blog are certainly prescribed by such outlandish creatures!

    The only solace for women is the presence of those men who have surmounted all such malicious thinking of men in general.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalOctober 16, 2016 at 7:41 AM

      Absolutely valid points, madam. Haven't I been a constant supporter of women's rights? Real rights, I mean, not the right to smear their faces with cow shit or to stand in a straitjacket. Haven't I been a supporter of human rights all through? Haven't I been upholding values and principles? But what happens is that shit sellers run over people like you and me. Shit sells in the world, madam. Go to religious places and you will get shit. Go to politicians and you will get shitty shit. Go to more conservative organisations like RSSB and they will tell you that shit is reserved for their own people. Such is the world. We have to put up with it. Or else be frustrated with it.

      Delete

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