Cleopatra and Gaumata

Though India’s own Entrepreneur Baba keeps denouncing everything foreign as unhealthy for the holy people of Bharat, Gujarat Gauseva and Gauchar Vikas Board have imported Egypt’s own Cleopatra as the model of beauty for Bharatiya nari. 

According to these Gujarat gaurakshaks,

1.     Cleopatra was the most beautiful woman in the world.

2.     Cleopatra used cow’s milk for bathing.

3.     Therefore the Indian women should use cow’s dung and urine for enhancing their beauty.

Don’t ask me what the logic is in that syllogism.  Where on earth have you found logic in any religious assertions and scriptural truths?  Take it on faith.  Faith is “belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel,” as defined by the Devil’s own immortal Ambrose Bierce.  Forgive me for borrowing a foreign definition; Indians are yet to acquire that sort of sense of humour – we are still steeped in bovine scatological aesthetics.

Cleopatra in donkey's milk

According to reliable information available, Cleopatra used donkey’s milk for making herself seductive.  Nowhere in history do we find Cleopatra packing her face with donkey shit and massaging her face with donkey urine.  But our gaurakshaks are asking our women to use cow dung and cow urine in addition to cow milk, cow ghee and many other things if they want to be Cleopatra’s Indian counterparts.

Source: Economic Times

While the gau bhakts are trying to smear Bharatiya naris’ faces with cow milk and ghee and so on, we may remind ourselves of the fact that “a third of the world’s starving population live in India.”  The milk and ghee could find much better use.