Skip to main content

Cleopatra and Gaumata


Though India’s own Entrepreneur Baba keeps denouncing everything foreign as unhealthy for the holy people of Bharat, Gujarat Gauseva and Gauchar Vikas Board have imported Egypt’s own Cleopatra as the model of beauty for Bharatiya nari

According to these Gujarat gaurakshaks,
1.     Cleopatra was the most beautiful woman in the world.
2.     Cleopatra used cow’s milk for bathing.
3.     Therefore the Indian women should use cow’s dung and urine for enhancing their beauty.

Don’t ask me what the logic is in that syllogism.  Where on earth have you found logic in any religious assertions and scriptural truths?  Take it on faith.  Faith is “belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel,” as defined by the Devil’s own immortal Ambrose Bierce.  Forgive me for borrowing a foreign definition; Indians are yet to acquire that sort of sense of humour – we are still steeped in bovine scatological aesthetics.

Cleopatra in donkey's milk
According to reliable information available, Cleopatra used donkey’s milk for making herself seductive.  Nowhere in history do we find Cleopatra packing her face with donkey shit and massaging her face with donkey urine.  But our gaurakshaks are asking our women to use cow dung and cow urine in addition to cow milk, cow ghee and many other things if they want to be Cleopatra’s Indian counterparts.

Source: Economic Times

While the gau bhakts are trying to smear Bharatiya naris’ faces with cow milk and ghee and so on, we may remind ourselves of the fact that “a third of the world’s starving population live in India.”  The milk and ghee could find much better use.


Indian Bloggers




   

Comments

  1. Tomichan, when we were in our teen we used to apply milk cream because we believed that it bleached the tan away and egg white on the head, essentially sunday's became a stinky day, so stinky that we quit using it, Gaumutra ,cow shit -- sounds Bull shit, pun borrowed deliberately. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When the world moves on we keep ourselves buried in cow shit!

      Delete
  2. nice website thank you
    www.virtualtaskhub.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is disgusting!
    Thanks for the informative article.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It sounds positively disgusting !!Yuck !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm absolutely sure there are no women engaged in the research ☺

      Delete
  5. I have an absurd mocking smile on my face as I read this - cows, religion, beautiful women, patriarchy.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a funny world. Even when women are given a lot of liberty apparently, men find a way of keeping her under some excreta.

      Delete
  6. Achieving love and affection by looking beautiful and following all sorts of disgusting and painful processes to look beautiful - are these the only aim of women in their life? For example, the European ball dress with a broad ring bottom is designed to keep women standing for long hours without allowing them to sit in order to keep them slim.
    The sole aim of looking slim, young and beautiful is to entice men and that seems to be the only intention behind giving beauty tips. Why there hasn't been any tips given to women to look beautiful to improve their confidence levels and live life of their own choices? Why winning love and affection should be the sole aim of their keeping themselves fit?
    Also now-a-days there are whatsapp forwards that promote the importance of women only by quoting their sacrifices for their children, husband and parents as if they are the creatures to be sacrificed for the welfare of the family.
    Why are men so jealous of their terrific progress, I wonder. In ancient times, women were so powerful. They even fought wars. But men who were jealous always claim that physical strength is their lone asset. It is only ridiculous that men become so terribly attached to a few things like power, superior status, etc., in a social set up. They love to promote patriarchal society to hide all their weaknesses.
    The beauty tips referred in the blog are certainly prescribed by such outlandish creatures!

    The only solace for women is the presence of those men who have surmounted all such malicious thinking of men in general.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Absolutely valid points, madam. Haven't I been a constant supporter of women's rights? Real rights, I mean, not the right to smear their faces with cow shit or to stand in a straitjacket. Haven't I been a supporter of human rights all through? Haven't I been upholding values and principles? But what happens is that shit sellers run over people like you and me. Shit sells in the world, madam. Go to religious places and you will get shit. Go to politicians and you will get shitty shit. Go to more conservative organisations like RSSB and they will tell you that shit is reserved for their own people. Such is the world. We have to put up with it. Or else be frustrated with it.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Adventures of Toto as a comic strip

  'The Adventures of Toto' is an amusing story by Ruskin Bond. It is prescribed as a lesson in CBSE's English course for class 9. Maggie asked her students to do a project on some of the lessons and Femi George's work is what I would like to present here. Femi converted the story into a beautiful comic strip. Her work will speak for itself and let me present it below.  Femi George Student of Carmel Public School, Vazhakulam, Kerala Similar post: The Little Girl

Coming-of-Age Poems

Lubna Shibu Book Review Title: Into the Wandering Multiverse Author: Lubna Shibu Publisher: Book Leaf , 2024 Pages: 23 Poetry serves as a profound medium for self-reflection. It offers a canvas where emotions, thoughts, and experiences are distilled into words. Writing poetry is a dive into the depths of one’s consciousness, exploring facets of the poet’s identity and feelings that are often left unspoken. Poets are introverts by nature, I think. Poetry is their way of encountering other people. I was reading Lubna Shibu’s debut anthology of poems while I had a substitution period in a section of grade eleven today at school. One student asked me if she could have a look at the book as I was moving around ensuring discipline while the students were engaged in their regular academic tasks. I gave her the book telling her that the author was a former student in this very classroom just a few years back. I watched the student reading a few poems with some amusement. Then I ask...

How to preach nonviolence

Like most government institutions in India, the Archaeological Survey of India [ASI] has also become a gigantic joke. The national surveyors of India’s famed antiquity go around finding all sorts of Hindu relics in Muslim mosques. Like a Shiv Ling [Lord Shiva’s penis] which may in reality be a rotting piece of a Mughal fountain. One of the recent discoveries of Modi’s national surveyors is that Sambhal in UP is the birthplace of Kalki, the tenth incarnation of God Vishnu. I haven’t understood yet whether Kalki was born in Sambhal at some time in India’s great antique history or Kalki is going to be born in Sambhal at some time in the imminent future. What I know is that Kalki is the final incarnation of Vishnu that is going to put an end to the present wicked Kali Yuga led by people like Modi Inc. Kalki will begin the next era, Satya Yuga, the Era of Truth. So he is yet to be born. But a year back, in Feb to be precise, Modi laid the foundation stone of a temple dedicated to Kalk...

The Little Girl

The Little Girl is a short story by Katherine Mansfield given in the class 9 English course of NCERT. Maggie gave an assignment to her students based on the story and one of her students, Athena Baby Sabu, presented a brilliant job. She converted the story into a delightful comic strip. Mansfield tells the story of Kezia who is the eponymous little girl. Kezia is scared of her father who wields a lot of control on the entire family. She is punished severely for an unwitting mistake which makes her even more scared of her father. Her grandmother is fond of her and is her emotional succour. The grandmother is away from home one day with Kezia's mother who is hospitalised. Kezia gets her usual nightmare and is terrified. There is no one at home to console her except her father from whom she does not expect any consolation. But the father rises to the occasion and lets the little girl sleep beside him that night. She rests her head on her father's chest and can feel his heart...

The Triumph of Godse

Book Discussion Nathuram Godse killed Mahatma Gandhi in order to save Hindus from emasculation. Gandhi was making Hindu men effeminate, incapable of retaliation. Revenge and violence are required of brave men, according to Godse. Gandhi stripped the Hindu men of their bravery and transmuted them into “sheep and goats,” Godse wrote in an article titled ‘Non-resisting tendency accomplished easily by animals.’ Gandhi had to die in order to salvage the manliness of the Hindu men. This argument that formed the foundation of Godse’s self-defence after Gandhi’s assassination was later modified by Narendra Modi et al as: “ Hindu khatre mein hai ,” Hindus are in danger. So Godse has reincarnated now.   Godse’s hatred of non-Hindus has now become the driving force of Hindutva in India. It arose primarily because of the hurt that Godse’s love for his religious community was hurt. His Hindu sentiments were hurt, in other words. Gandhi, Godse, and the minority question is the theme of the...