“Yesterday’s
gone ... and tomorrow may never be mine,” says a Christian
hymn. Only today, this moment, is
mine to act in. But is it really
possible to live in the present moment much as that is the best thing to
do. It is best to live without the
hangovers of yesterday and also without the mirages of tomorrow. Is it really possible, however?
One plain
truth is that we are a product of our past to a very large extent. Whatever we may do, it is impossible to erase
all of our past. The past has shaped our
attitudes, thinking and our very character so much so it steps in whenever we
are trying to find solutions to the current problem. It is impossible to ignore the past. The past is an integral part of our very
being.
Religion never lets the past go Not even in the life next! |
I spent my
youth with certain people who rendered unenviable assistance in making a mess
of my life. They were apparently trying
to help me shape my character which, according to them, was pretty bad. They were religious people and I was an
atheistic hedonist. They thought that I
had sold my soul to the devil and they took it upon themselves to redeem my soul. My life became such a misery to me that I ran
away from the place and took up a job in another place where the people who
surrounded me were of a totally different religion and didn’t give two hoots for
my irreligion. I rediscovered myself in
that place without much difficulty.
Happiness is short-lived. That’s one of the plain truths of life. I was fortunate to have at least a decade and
a half of happiness unintruded by religious people. But then they came. In the form of a religious cult. They were not interested in anybody’s
soul. They were only bothered about
throwing people out of the place and grab the property to themselves.
The old
missionaries returned to my life using the opportunity. Missionaries always know how to strike when
you are the most vulnerable. This second
assault left me thoroughly beaten. It
was unwarranted and unexpected. I couldn’t
even continue blogging (my favourite hobby and pastime). It took me about six months to overcome the
depression.
This second
assault left a far deeper scar in my being.
However much I
try to live in the present, I am unable to do it. My repeated experiences make me wary of
everybody much as I long to trust at least one person.
Mine may be a
unique experience. But I’m sure there
are many people who have gone through other experiences which have reshaped
their very being in undesirable ways. I’m
sure the number of such people is not at all insignificant. That’s why I decided to write this. Just to tell them that it is not a sin if
they can’t live in the present even though that is the ideal. Ideals belong to a privileged few: those who
can shape their destiny in spite of external forces that impinge on us
constantly. Most people are not so
privileged. And hence most people have
an yesterday whose ghosts haunt them, and a tomorrow that is already darkened
by shadows.
“I’m only
human, I’m just a man / Help me believe in what I could be and all that I am...”
That’s the opening lines of the hymn with which I started this post. But who is going to offer that help? God?
The hymn believes that. But I don’t.
I am still an atheistic hedonist. I
believe in the present. The religious
people don’t. They believe in the life
hereafter. That’s the endless conflict
between them and me.
PS. This is written for Indispire Edition 146 #CelebrateTodayThisMoment
A very well written post that has experience as its strong base!
ReplyDeletePast is History, Future is Mystery, we only have present.
ReplyDeleteI find it difficult too....to live for the time being.....to live in the present moment....Our minds can never be free from past hurts and future anxieties.
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