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Me with my foot in my mouth

My foot has this uncanny proclivity to get into my mouth whenever I am at a social event.  That’s why I took much effort to teach my feet to walk away from social events altogether.  Some heels were born to cool themselves in the cosiness of solipsism (or should I say sole-ipsism?). 

Source: Clarity Solutions
I have kept me to myself for nearly two decades now.  Like Ogden Nash’s Born Spectator, I stay far away from the field of action and watch with admiration socialites performing various acrobatics in order to win their much deserved accolades.  When it comes to the battle between the ego and prudence, the latter wins hands down in my case.

A few years ago, when I was in Delhi, a blogger from Indiblogger connection, a lady who wasn’t very active as a blogger, organised a bloggers’ meet in Delhi and sent me a personal invitation.  I was rather surprised because never in my blog anywhere at any time had I shown any interest in such meetings.  But I decided to conceal my surprise as well as keep my foot away from my mouth.  I gave her the excuse of a prior engagement.  Within 24 hours, the good lady changed the date of the meeting and offered to hold it any day that was convenient for me.  I knew something was seriously wrong. 

One of the blights I had to fight again and again in my life, without much success, is keeping benefactors away from my doorstep.  They came in hoards especially when I lived in Shillong, a small town with all the inconveniences of a village with none of its benefits.  Most of them benefactors were keen on making me religious.  The more they tried, the more I hated religion.  Eventually I quit the countryside benefactors of Shillong and found my shelter in the anonymity of Delhi’s vastness.  When a blogger who never even commented once in my space insisted on having me at a bloggers’ meet, I knew that benefactors were at it again. 

I now live in a small village in Kerala.  Mercifully the benefactors have left me alone until now.  It’s not easy to play the benefactor-game in too small a village where people know each other too well.  Too many games will reveal the identity of the godfather who pays the benefactors.  The village thus keeps me safely away from benefactors. 

Probably, I wouldn’t have detested the society if it were not for the benefactors and their godfather.  I have seen a lot of people who are comfortable with both their feet in their mouth.  Maybe, it’s not my foot that is the real problem.  Maybe, I’m bored with the benefactors who never revealed any trace of imagination. 

PS. Written for Indispire Edition 176: #CityEvent


  1. The favourite part in the Catcher in the rye was when Holden meets his English teacher at the end. I liked the teacher very much.

    He said something to Holden regarding how it is essential to identify the capacity of one's brain to sink in the information. I relate so much with that thought.

    To not put foot in the mouth is the sign of realizing that capacity. It is after all a matter of personal happiness and if we find it through solipsism then it is equally okay :)

    1. Holden's creator, Salinger, chose to quit the society. Holden will be a social misfit whatever he does, whatever his counsellor may do.

      Our personal happiness need have nothing much to do with the society. In fact, the society is more likely to make us unhappy. I keep my cheer by being as far away from society as possible.

  2. Sometimes I behave this weird too. Has it got something to do with us writers??

    1. Writers are weird. But there are writers who walk that tightrope between personal weirdness and social adjustment quite easily. Some of us are condemned to be weirdos, perhaps :)

  3. Why are you so pessimistic about society? Why should the society make one unhappy? Many are the minds that draw their inspiration and subsistence from the society.
    If man is expected to be a social animal, some modicum of pretense and subjugation of one's ego will go a long way in making the social intercourse (with apologies to CBFC) 'happy' and enjoyable!

    1. You said it! And it made me write the next post. The ecstasies of social intercourse are the prerogative of God's chosen people.

  4. I can relate to this post as I have also landed myself in such foot-in-my-mouth situations a couple of times. It was great reading this post, Sir :)

    1. Most welcome, Purba. Maybe, we the foot-in-the-mouth people should form an association for our welfare :)

  5. Like always, enjoyed reading your blog. Looking forward to the next.


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