Until someone from my
Delhi days called me yesterday evening, I was not aware that it was friendship
day (1st Sunday of August). I transferred the phone to Maggie as
soon as he enquired after her. The call ended soon which was what I wanted.
Friends – I’m scared of many them.
My experience with
friends has been such that friendship is a nightmare for me with the exception
of a few souls who don’t wait for friendship day to call. When a Catholic
priest who was my teacher for a brief period extended friendship on Facebook
recently, I accepted the offer with considerable hesitation. When he wrote on
my page yesterday that he prayed for me I became really terrified and wrote in
response that attention from religious people had always spelt disaster in my
life.
I had my own perversions
and idiosyncrasy which made me an outsider in any society. Most of those
perversions were worked to their bizarre extremes by certain religious people
who took it upon themselves to reform me. As a result of their missionary zeal
and enterprise, I became a miserable wretch and quit the place altogether after
enduring an ordeal that lasted half a decade. It was not just a place that I
quit; I quit people. It was impossible for me to trust people anymore. In fact,
the whole missionary enterprise damaged my personality so much that I couldn’t
even sign my name without my hand shivering uncontrollably.
I have lived my life in
relative solitude ever since though I have always greeted people at my
workplace with the best possible smile on my lips. Beyond the greetings and
smiles, friendships in general meant little for me.
Friendship is an attitude
of openness and not the missionary zeal to reform people and mould them in your
own image. As Fritz Perls said, “You are you, and I am I.” You and I have to
live our own lives the way we deem it best. I may be wrong. Yet I have to live
my life, not yours. I will learn my lessons through my wrongs. If you find my
way unacceptable leave me and go your way. If we can meet on some mutually
acceptable plane, that’s beautiful. Otherwise, it can’t be helped.
 |
| Once upon a time |
Happy friendship day sir 😄.
ReplyDeleteHi Aditya, thank you; how are your studies going?
DeleteI couldn't agree more. In fact, I find it really funny when people even attempt to mould you! If everyone becomes your mirror image, would you find anything interesting or anything worth learning from that replica? It'll turn so boring! I like mingling with different people, who have an individuality :)
ReplyDeleteLike the way you write Sir (y)
Some people just can't accept others as they are. They have to reshape people according to their ideologies and beliefs. Look at what's happening in the country now. Aren't some people imposing their views, faiths and creeds on the entire nation? This is the problem with religious people.
DeleteGlad to know you like my writing.