Sushant Singh Rajput apparently had everything: wealth, fame, talents, intellect, and a noble heart. The ingredients for a happy and contented life were complete. What went wrong then?
We don’t know yet. Like a lot of other people, I’m left wondering why a man of Rajput’s stature should have put a wretched end to his life? He was doing well not only for himself but also for the world and there was so much more that he could contribute.
He was generous to a fault. He contributed generously when disasters struck. He helped Kerala with a contribution of no less than one crore rupees during the 2018 floods. In the same year, he donated Rs 1.25 crore to the Nagaland Chief Minister’s Relief Fund, again to help flood victims there. He went out of his way to help women-led start-ups and children’s education. In short, he wanted to create a better world. He had great dreams.
What a noble soul!
Did that nobility kill him? This is my conjecture. I don’t know why he chose to end his life this way.
Was he too good for this world? This is a question that refuses to leave me.
Life is essentially a tragedy though we make it look like comedy. Comedification is our success. We cope with the ineluctable miseries of life by pretending that they are comic. Jealousy and greed, sheer insensitivity, piggybacking on others’ successes, poaching on the one-cent land of the other when you have a thousand acres already… Add to all that the insanities perpetrated in the name of patriotism, gods, culture, and what not.
Is it comedy or tragedy?
I don’t know whether Rajput was caught between the horns of that dilemma. There are times when death lured me because I was caught in that ugly middle position. But I survived each time because I accepted the essential insanity of human existence. I accepted my own insanity too.
I didn’t pretend that life was a hilarious comedy. I wept in the darkness of my solitude when I couldn’t bear the pain of life anymore. I didn’t go out of my way to hide what I get up to in the middle of the night, in my anxious moments, when perplexity hit me hard in the solar plexus.
I wish life were kinder to Rajput. And a lot of others. It is good to see stars shining rather than blinking out prematurely.