Skip to main content

Intimacy



Intimacy is rooted in understanding. It is impossible to live without at least one intimate relationship. As John Powell says in The Secret of Staying in Love, “No one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.” Intimacy is that mirror.

Understanding each other leads to the discovery of each other’s inner beauty. It heals the wounds that inevitably mar that beauty occasionally. It can remove scars too. Intimacy has the tenderness of a soothing balm. Intimacy is a melodious poem that keeps on composing itself endlessly. Its rhythm is like the flow of a mountain brook; there are occasional stumbles and rumbles too.  

“Is physical intimacy the only thing which matters in a relationship? Can you live without it and yet be happy?” Blogger Anushree Aggarwal raised the question. Why can’t one live without physical intimacy and yet be happy? There are plenty of people who do that; priests and nuns, for example. Real intimacy may have nothing to do with physicality.



If we consider ordinary relationships, physicality is not an issue at all. I have a few intimate friends with none of whom I have any physical relationship and won’t ever have.

The physical aspect is not a part of intimacy, in fact. That is a mere biological need which has certain emotional trappings. My hunch [since I have no experience in this matter] is that physical intimacy is undesirable in healthy friendships except with one person. Yes, that fidelity is crucial when it comes to physicality. Otherwise, relationships are likely to be shallow affairs. Moreover, does sex play any role in friendly relationships?

Real intimacy is a sacred experience, as John O’Donohue says. Intimacy belongs to the soul, not to the body.


Top post on IndiBlogger, the biggest community of Indian Bloggers

Comments

  1. Jyotirmoy SarkarAugust 25, 2018 at 7:08 PM

    Beautiful writ up, good to go through the quotes and the view points(Logic) you have shared.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nima DasAugust 27, 2018 at 11:15 AM

    Agree with you fully. Intimacy gives you insights into your soul but also to sustain a relationship itimacy is not the only factor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 27, 2018 at 11:38 AM

      Only a few relationships can be intimate for any individual. Among them physical intimacy should be a guarded affair, limited by marital or similar fidelity. That's my view.

      Delete
  3. Arvind PasseyAugust 29, 2018 at 3:52 PM

    Yes, I agree that real intimacy is a sacred experience... but then we have maverick hormones doing the unexpected all the time. The mind too remains helpless when hormones decide to strike. Do read about the link-up of intimacy with hormones in my post.

    Arvind Passey
    www.passey.info

    ReplyDelete
  4. Datta GhoshAugust 29, 2018 at 5:18 PM

    I kept nodding throughout the post. I agree, companionship transcends the boundaries of physical intimacy. And again, the definition pf physical intimacy varies from person to person. Over all there is something sacred in relationships that really matter.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnuSeptember 11, 2018 at 12:57 PM

    i believe sometimes the intimacy with your special someone does need the physical touch!
    agree with you, that discovering inner beauty is a beautiful journey by itself.

    thank u for writing such a nice post for my idea:)

    ReplyDelete
  6. sumita sofatApril 29, 2019 at 10:40 AM

    Nice Blog! Thanks for sharing information .Sofat infertility & women care centre provides the best fertility treatment at a reasonable price. Dr Sumita Sofat is the best gynecologist and Infertility specialist. Sofat Infertility Clinic is the best IVF centre Ludhiana.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Kanishka GuptaNovember 27, 2020 at 2:46 PM

    Types of intimacy depend the type of your relationship.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

In this Wonderland

I didn’t write anything in the last few days. Nor did I feel any urge to write. I don’t know if this lack of interest to write is what’s called writer’s block. Or is it simple disenchantment with whatever is happening around me? We’re living in a time that offers much, too much, to writers. The whole world looks like a complex plot for a gigantic epic. The line between truth and fiction has disappeared. Mass murders have become no-news. Animals get more compassion than fellow human beings. Even their excreta are venerated! Folk tales are presented as scientific truths while scientific truths are sacrificed on the altar of political expediency. When the young generation in Nepal set fire to their Parliament and Supreme Court buildings, they were making an unmistakable statement: that they are sick of their political leaders and their systems. Is there any country whose leaders don’t sicken their citizens? I’m just wondering. Maybe, there are good leaders still left in a few coun...
12 comments
Read more

The Adventures of Toto as a comic strip

  'The Adventures of Toto' is an amusing story by Ruskin Bond. It is prescribed as a lesson in CBSE's English course for class 9. Maggie asked her students to do a project on some of the lessons and Femi George's work is what I would like to present here. Femi converted the story into a beautiful comic strip. Her work will speak for itself and let me present it below.  Femi George Student of Carmel Public School, Vazhakulam, Kerala Similar post: The Little Girl
47 comments
Read more

Death as a Sculptor

Book Discussion An Introductory Note : This is not a book review but a reflection on one of the many themes in The Infatuations , novel by Javier Marias. If you have any intention of reading the novel, please be forewarned that this post contains spoilers. For my review of the book, without spoilers, read an earlier post: The Infatuations (2013). D eath can reshape the reality for the survivors of the departed. For example, a man’s death can entirely alter the lives of his surviving family members: his wife and children, particularly. That sounds like a cliché. Javier Marias’ novel, The Infatuations , shows us that death can alter a lot more; it can reshape meanings, relationships, and even morality of the people affected by the death. Miguel Deverne is killed by an abnormal man right in the beginning of the novel. It seems like an accidental killing. But it isn’t. There are more people than the apparently insane killer involved in the crime and there are motives which are di...
7 comments
Read more

When Cricket Becomes War

Illustration by Copilot Designer Why did India agree to play Pakistan at all if the animosity runs so deep that Indian players could not even extend the customary handshake: a simple ritual that embodies the very essence of sportsmanship? Cricket is not war, in the first place. When a nation turns a game into a war, it does not defeat its rival; it only wages war on its own culture, poisoning its acclaimed greatness. India which claims to be Viswaguru , the world’s Guru, is degenerating itself day after day with mounting hatred against everyone who is not Hindu. How can we forget what India did to a young cricket player named Mohammed Siraj , especially in this context? In the recent test series against England, India achieved an unexpected draw because of Siraj. 1113 balls and 23 wickets. He was instrumental in India’s series-levelling victory in the final Test at the Oval and was declared the Player of the Match. But India did not celebrate him. Instead, it mocked him for his o...
6 comments
Read more

Whose Rama?

Book Review Title: Whose Rama? [Malayalam] Author: T S Syamkumar Publisher: D C Books, Kerala Pages: 352 Rama may be an incarnation of God Vishnu, but is he as noble a man [ Maryada Purushottam ] as he is projected to be by certain sections of Hindus? This is the theme of Dr Syamkumar’s book, written in Malayalam. There is no English translation available yet. Rama is a creation of the Brahmins, asserts the author of this book. The Ramayana upholds the unjust caste system created by Brahmins for their own wellbeing. Everyone else exists for the sake of the Brahmin wellbeing. If the Kshatriyas are given the role of rulers, it is only because the Brahmins need such men to fight and die for them. Valmiki’s Rama too upheld that unjust system merely because that was his Kshatriya-dharma, allotted by the Brahmins. One of the many evils that Valmiki’s Rama perpetrates heartlessly is the killing of Shambuka, a boy who belonged to a low caste but chose to become an ascetic. The...
8 comments
Read more