Each one of us carries within ourselves a child who is confused, angry, hurt, and longs for recognition. The degree of the confusion, anger and hurt will obviously vary from individual to individual. Instead of coming to terms with that inner child, instead of dealing maturely and intelligently with the anger and/or other states of emotion, we let them be. We get on with life.
We are experts at it. At getting
on. That is easier to do than deal with our deeper personal problems. It is
easy to surrender to the demands of the world around us and go on. No strife. It
is easy to live up to what is expected of us at the workplace, in the society, even
at home, and move on. No quarrels. We get on apparently smoothly with
priorities defined by others.
How long? Maybe till the end
of our life. Many people manage that. They are only half alive. They have
killed a part of themselves for the sake of peace with others. Turn a blind eye
to unpleasant realities. Create darkness by shutting your eyes, as we say in
Kerala.
Not all can do that, however.
A time comes when you break down. A time comes when certain personal truths
demand your attention. This half life doesn’t satisfy you. You want to be fully
human and fully alive. You want to be psychologically healthy.
Every nervous breakdown is
painful. Excruciatingly painful. It makes you appear like a vulgar gargoyle to
yourself.
The nervous breakdown is not
the illness, however. We were ill before we broke. It is our illness that made
us break. Every breakdown is rather an invitation to health than an illness. It
is a demand for greater self-knowledge. A life-force within us is urging us on
to process of personal growth which we had hitherto refused to undertake. Every
nervous breakdown is an invitation to healing, to a fuller life.
PS. This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon.
Hari OM
ReplyDeleteSuch breakdowns come to those who are ready to become naked to themselves and others. So very important in processing through to true adulthood and personal authenticity - as long as it is embraced and processed correctly. I have also seen how that can go very wrong, everything reburied and twisting of personality as a result. The "invitation to healing, to a fuller life" has to be seized! YAM xx
I went through a long and much needed process and gained much. But as you point out, there may be many who get decimated.
DeleteThat's a wonderful insight. A breakdown is a sign that there's a deeper problem that needs addressing.
ReplyDeletePrecisely.
DeleteThank you again for this series of posts. I am trying to accept myself completely and this particular insight definitely helps.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that, Chinmayee.
DeleteWe are really good at ignoring things that need to be faced and getting on with life.
ReplyDeleteSome years back,I read an article in 'The Speaking Tree'. What I remember is one sentence, 'We go on with life and something happens and we realise we are far from home. Or nothing happens.'
Realisations matter more than anything else.
DeleteSuch a powerful perspective on breakdowns. I like to think when my body is in pain it's like - will you listen to me now? Because we tend not to listen unless it hampers our productivity.
ReplyDeleteYeah, we listen to our body even more rarely than we do to our soul.
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