Skip to main content

In Praise of Melancholy

 

Though happiness is the ideal that we all love to chase, the fact remains that sorrow is the solid underpinning of human reality. There is no life without a touch of grief. The possibility of failure lurks at every bend along the road. There is no mountain, however alluring it is, without its due share of boulders and ravines that impede your progress upward.


Certain truths are painful but also inevitable. You can’t avoid them. You can’t escape them. For example, the truth that most people won’t understand you when you desperately need to be understood. There are times when you wish that at least your spouse understood you better. Your best friend will ditch you when you most need help. Have you ever noticed that loneliness is a universal phenomenon? You can feel lonely in the middle of a party. The realisation that the other people are grappling with their own shame and sorrow must have hit you like an enlightenment more than once. These are just a few examples. There are other sorrows, innumerable ones.

That is how life is. Sorrow is the unheard melody that holds up the entire orchestra of life. You can’t avoid sorrow unless you choose to live in some private sheltered little world. Like a ship that never moves out of the harbour.

The ship has to move out. It has to face the storms and waves.

With sobriety. With sober melancholy.

Contemporary philosopher, Alain de Botton, describes this melancholy as a “noble species of sadness that arises when we are properly open to the idea that suffering and disappointment are at the heart of human experience.”

Suffering and disappointment are at the heart of human experience. There’s no escape from them. A sober realisation of that fundamental truth gifts you melancholy. It gives your smile a strangely seductive charm.

PS. This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon.

Comments

  1. The phase of life that I am going through right now, it's like posts are giving me all my answers. This one is gold!
    Mayuri/Sirimiri

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for this super compliment. You will definitely tide over the present phase. And then smile...

      Delete
  2. Sorrow & melancholy are important too in my humble opinion. These help come to terms with loss and are part of the healing process. Never been more true than in the present times.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Suffering and disappointment are at the heart of human experience. There’s no escape from them. A sober realization of that fundamental truth gifts you melancholy. You said it. No denial at all. And what about that everlasting throbbing in the heart which is the result of suffering (and a sense of helplessness) only?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Despair is capitulation. Disappointments shouldn't lead to despair but to certain realisations.

      Delete
  4. I do not know how to put across but I have been going through this phase for quite some time now. a setback teaches one a lot and probably because of this I can understand this post well !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have endured much in my life. Now in the autumn, life seems to be mellowing. It should, na? 😊

      Delete
  5. Hari OM
    Such truth in this - I have often said that without the sense of suffocation, how would we know we were breathing? It certainly peppers life. I, however, am one of those annoying personalities that despite many lows can absolutely learn to float - or climb - away. The memories are there, but they harm me much less. Suffering unquestionably exists - we are left to find out how we deal with it. YAM xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's great that you have such an "annoying" personality :)
      I too went through a lot of hells and came out alive if not kicking.

      Delete
  6. Loved the way the topic is put up. Such lucidity and clarity on such a complex topic. Guess we all go through the above mentioned phase and doubt our worth and sanity, posts like these reaffirm are beliefs and faith.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, we all go through tough times and each one responds differently... Ultimately the winner is the one who learns the lessons soberly.

      Delete
  7. Can't agree more...Pain and suffering is at the core....one should fight and come out of it....Thank you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Struggle and win, yes, there's no other option really.

      Delete
  8. It's a strange concept to understand that sorrow and happiness could/must coexist. They're like the two sides of a coin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Undoubtedly. And sorrows must lead one to a kind of philosophical melancholy.

      Delete
  9. An interesting post.Perhaps when you find contentment within yourself, happiness and sorrow may not have that much of an impact on one's life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can anyone reach such contentment that happiness and sorrow will have no impact? I'm not sure.

      Delete
  10. Such an insightful post! And true. If we enjoy happiness, we must learn to deal with sadness. However, we all have different ways of dealing with sorrow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, we have our own unique ways of dealing with sorrows.

      Delete
  11. There is no life without some amount of suffering. I dont understand it, but its a fact. I guess thats why religion is so popular - to help us get over our downs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, religion can help one to deal effectively with suffering.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Country where humour died

Humour died a thousand deaths in India after May 2014. The reason – let me put it as someone put it on X.  The stand-up comedian Kunal Kamra called a politician some names like ‘traitor’ which made his audience laugh because they misunderstood it as a joke. Kunal Kamra has to explain the joke now in a court of justice. I hope his judge won’t be caught with crores of rupees of black money in his store room . India itself is the biggest joke now. Our courts of justice are huge jokes. Our universities are. Our temples, our textbooks, even our markets. Let alone our Parliament. I’m studying the Ramayana these days in detail because I’ve joined an A-to-Z blog challenge and my theme is Ramayana, as I wrote already in an earlier post . In order to understand the culture behind Ramayana, I even took the trouble to brush up my little knowledge of Sanskrit by attending a brief course. For proof, here’s part of a lesson in my handwriting.  The last day taught me some subhashit...

Lucifer and some reflections

Let me start with a disclaimer: this is not a review of the Malayalam movie, Lucifer . These are some thoughts that came to my mind as I watched the movie today. However, just to give an idea about the movie: it’s a good entertainer with an engaging plot, Bollywood style settings, superman type violence in which the hero decimates the villains with pomp and show, and a spicy dance that is neatly tucked into the terribly orgasmic climax of the plot. The theme is highly relevant and that is what engaged me more. The role of certain mafia gangs in political governance is a theme that deserves to be examined in a good movie. In the movie, the mafia-politician nexus is busted and, like in our great myths, virtue triumphs over vice. Such a triumph is an artistic requirement. Real life, however, follows the principle of entropy: chaos flourishes with vengeance. Lucifer is the real winner in real life. The title of the movie as well as a final dialogue from the eponymous hero sugg...

Abdullah’s Religion

O Abdulla Renowned Malayalam movie actor Mohanlal recently offered special prayers for Mammootty, another equally renowned actor of Kerala. The ritual was performed at Sabarimala temple, one of the supreme Hindu pilgrimage centres in Kerala. No one in Kerala found anything wrong in Mohanlal, a Hindu, praying for Mammootty, a Muslim, to a Hindu deity. Malayalis were concerned about Mammootty’s wellbeing and were relieved to know that the actor wasn’t suffering from anything as serious as it appeared. Except O Abdulla. Who is this Abdulla? I had never heard of him until he created an unsavoury controversy about a Hindu praying for a Muslim. This man’s Facebook profile describes him as: “Former Professor Islahiaya, Media Critic, Ex-Interpreter of Indian Ambassador, Founder Member MADHYAMAM.” He has 108K followers on FB. As I was reading Malayalam weekly this morning, I came to know that this Abdulla is a former member of Jamaat-e-Islami Hind Kerala , a fundamentalist organisation. ...

Violence and Leaders

The latest issue of India Today magazine studies what it calls India’s Gross Domestic Behaviour (GDB). India is all poised to be an economic superpower. But what about its civic sense? Very poor, that’s what the study has found. Can GDP numbers and infrastructure projects alone determine a country’s development? Obviously, no. Will India be a really ‘developed’ country by 2030 although it may be $7-trillion economy by then? Again, no is the answer. India’s civic behaviour leaves a lot, lot to be desired. Ironically, the brand ambassador state of the country, Uttar Pradesh, is the worst on most parameters: civic behaviour, public safety, gender attitudes, and discrimination of various types. And UP is governed by a monk!  India Today Is there any correlation between the behaviour of a people and the values and principles displayed by their leaders? This is the question that arose in my mind as I read the India Today story. I put the question to ChatGPT. “Yes,” pat came the ...

The Ramayana Chronicles: 26 Stories, Endless Wisdom

I’m participating in the A2Z challenge of Blogchatter this year too. I have been regular with this every April for the last few years. It’s been sheer fun for me as well as a tremendous learning experience. I wrote mostly on books and literature in the past. This year, I wish to dwell on India’s great epic Ramayana for various reasons the prominent of which is the new palatial residence in Ayodhya that our Prime Minister has benignly constructed for a supposedly homeless god. “Our Ram Lalla will no longer reside in a tent,” intoned Modi with his characteristic histrionics. This new residence for Lord Rama has become the largest pilgrimage centre in India, drawing about 100,000 devotees every day. Not even the Taj Mahal, a world wonder, gets so many footfalls. Ayodhya is not what it ever was. Earlier it was a humble temple town that belonged to all. Several temples belonging to different castes made all devotees feel at home. There was a sense of belonging, and a sense of simplici...