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Most Sacred

 

Salman Rushdie grew up kissing books and bread before he could ever kiss a girl. The writer says that in his essay, ‘Is Nothing Sacred?’. It was a tradition in his household to pick up and kiss any food item or book that was dropped by mistake. “Bread and books: food for the body and food for the soul – what could be more worthy of our respect, and even love?” He asks. What can be more sacred than food and books?

Trust. That is my answer to Rushdie’s question. I hold trust above everything else.

Have you ever noticed that it is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend? That is because the enemy does not betray trust. The friend does. Trust is the very foundation of human relationships. Psychologist Erik Erikson places trust at the threshold of our psychological wellbeing. A person’s whole outlook is determined by the trust she is able to develop as she grows up and that ability to trust is built or crushed in the earliest days of childhood. A baby that receives proper care and tender affection is likely to grow up into a healthy personality while the one who is deprived of it will be fearful, confused and anxious as an adult.

Andrew M Greeley, American sociologist, is of the opinion that “the absence of trust” is “one of the critical problems in society” today. The predominance of prejudice, hatred and war today is due to people’s inability “to trust others and to radiate trust among those with whom (they) interact”.

Just look around at your own acquaintances and friends and tell me how many of them do you really trust? Can you open your heart to any of them? Personally, and rather tragically, my answer is in the negative. I wouldn’t dare to do such a thing as place my trust in any of them. Once bitten twice shy. I was naïve enough to be bitten twice.

I’m not grumbling, however. This is how our world is: fundamentally untrustworthy. If I failed to learn that lesson early enough, it’s my drawback and I can’t blame anyone for that. I deserved to be betrayed, not once but twice. [The second man who betrayed my trust when I was old enough to be wiser appears in my novel, Black Hole, as a character who is a history teacher in contemporary India and who shoves his erect penis into the mouth of one of his students saying, ‘We need to retrieve history from the invaders, boy.’]

There is no bigger harm that you can do to a person than betray his/her trust. When you betray trust, you are shattering the person’s entire universe. When you betray my trust, you make it doubly certain to me of my own worthlessness as a person. Your betrayal remains like a stigma etched indelibly in my soul. I gave you myself and you trashed it. That’s the meaning of betrayal of trust. I am not worth even your basic respect while you meant the world to me.

There are times when words don’t mean a thing. Even deeds don’t. Only feelings do. Broken trust engenders such moments. And feelings can linger like wounds that refuse to heal.

PS. Written for Indispire Edition 378: What is most sacred for you? #Sacred

 

Comments

  1. The Moon's BOYFRIEND June 11, 2021 at 3:26 PM

    Well... i trust you in this...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yamini MacLeanJune 11, 2021 at 5:21 PM

    Hari OM
    Yes, indeed, trust - and the breaking of it - is surely one of the key drivers of action and reaction in this world. It is interesting though; having had some serious betrayals myself, my natural instinct is still to trust. There are those who have bandied the term 'naive' in earlier years. They have come to realise that this is not the case. It is purely the determination to not let the b******* grind one down!!! I have also been provided a strong natural radar for where I can direct and to what level place my trust. So three are degrees of trust.

    For myself, I have always been relied upon as one of life's trustworthies. Thus on one occasion where I was accused of a betrayal it mortified me. That was a misguided accusal (complicated - long story), but nonetheless that person truly felt what they felt and that made me feel sick to the centre of my heart.

    People make so much of love, but that itself is nothing without trust. Thanks for this post! YAM xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalJune 12, 2021 at 7:34 AM

      Thanks for the personal touch to the response. It helps readers to realise that betrayal is not their singular experience.

      No doubt, there are degrees of trust. And there can be no love without trust. How else would the world move on?

      Delete
  3. UnknownJune 12, 2021 at 10:59 AM

    Well said and well written sir. Trust is different for every person.ones aspect about trust is totally different from the other. our psychological level of thinking is different even for a normal person compared to one who is not.its very difficult to find a person with same wavelength.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalJune 12, 2021 at 5:09 PM

      Authenticity automatically generates trust. The problem with our times perhaps is lack of authenticity.

      Delete
  4. DashyJune 13, 2021 at 10:19 AM

    I agree. Broken trust makes you feel worthless as a person. I think it takes courage to trust someone because it puts you in a vulnerable position. It is only natural that the world is fundamentally untrustworthy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalJune 13, 2021 at 11:01 AM

      Breaching trust is inviting the albatross on to one's neck. But the ancient mariner's kind of regret has vanished and there are only insensitive people around.

      Delete
  5. giniaJune 13, 2021 at 9:08 PM

    Trust is one issue that has been making me think a lot these past couple of tumultuous months. It was good to know that another soul also shares such deep views about this topic. I agree fully with you about trust being the most sacred of all emotions. And alas! Once its broken or even if it is shaken a bit, its very difficult to regain.

    ReplyDelete

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