Skip to main content

Wisdom and Relationships


The above illustration is from the book Introducing NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) byJoseph O'Connor & John Seymour.

A quote from the book: "Acting wholeheartedly with wisdom means appreciating the relationships and interactions between ourselves and others."

We live in the age of the WorldWide Web and the Internet.  Web and Net.  Very evocative metaphors. They bring to mind images of relationships.  They do build up a lot of relationships too: on social networks and chat sites and so on.  Yet why is hatred increasing in the world?  Why more and more of egoism, cruelty, and one-upmanship?

Maybe, we have relegated relationships to the virtual world altogether.

Comments

  1. Insecurity ,I guess, is one of the basic reason and it manifests itself in various forms.Insecurity comes from inner incompleteness ... when we are not satisfied with what we are and pretend/imitate others,its insecurity .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Inner incompleteness - nice expression, Kokila. Yes, that's a serious problem today. Virtual relationships don't need commitment: we can go on feeling comfortable with that "incompleteness".

      Delete
  2. Very well put. Behind the relationships of this virtual word proliferate hollow lives with no sense of meaning but the attitude is still evident.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Many people who make hundreds of friends in the virtual world may not have a single genuine friend in the real world because of that "hollowness".

      Delete
  3. Very insightful...it do helps in questioning our roles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The roles are always inter-related, Chaitali. The butterfly in the pic is a symbol of the "Butterfly Effect" that a scientist suggested: the flap of a butterfly's wings in Washington can cause a tornado in Baghdad.

      Delete
  4. Hatred is one of the way of looking at relationship. It doesn't have its own identity. A numerical six (6) can be viewed as numerical six or numerical nine (9). Increasing number of the figure (6) won't change the situation but seeing from different direction.

    A good thought provoking post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't want to write any comment, in fact. I just wanted to put that picture and leave it at that. But the commentary came by itself, like a compulsion... Hatred, crimes, violence - these have no easy solutions, I know. Perceptions - yes, how do we alter them?

      Delete
  5. Profound insight! This thoughtful post is a mighty oak in a tiny seed!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Amit. This is a picture which caught my fancy long ago. I bought the book a decade back after I attended a workshop on NLP. The picture speaks volumes.

      Delete
  6. This post opens many recesses of heart unexplored. Why the hatred because its a web, a net it is complex. People do not interact face to face. A geniune smile has replaced a digitally created smiley. Are we really laughing when we are saying LOL?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for mentioning "smile", Datta. One thing I notice in Delhi is the conspicuous absence of smiling faces. We come across grim or even snarling faces...

      Delete
    2. Apologies for barging in ...and its not relevan tto the topic yet I vcan't help to add...that this feature of Delhi was noticed by me too.. quite early .. and made me try hard to avoid starting my new life( read marriage and family )there...

      Delete
  7. World Wide Web has connectivity not communication. HR managers insist on face to face chat to get emotions out. E-mail informs impersonally without emotion.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And a sense of security too, Abhijit. One feels secure from the distance between the real and the virtual.

      Delete
  8. Human population is increasing and hence everything is suffering. Relationships, social order, environment. Quantity increases the quality definitely decreases..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Population is indeed a problem. I can accept that. 13 years ago, when I was a newcomer in Delhi the road from where the city ended technically to my place used to be deserted. Very few vehicles and equally few people. Peace reigned supreme everywhere on that stretch. It was sheer joy riding my two-wheeler on that stretch. Today it has become more scary than the city! Population is the cause.

      But I wouldn't simplify the whole thing down to population, however.

      Delete
  9. I guess social networks/chats have nothing to do with hatred... yes, they unknowingly are causing detachments with real world... but 'hatred'... ummm... no... I think what internet has done- it is like a live update of classified ads... it's telling you million times where juicy mango trees are located... too many leeches and too limited blood... hatred ought to grow ... Sigh :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know it's too complex to be analysed this way. In fact, I didn't mean to suggest that the internet creates hatred. Far from it. In spite of all the friendship that one sees in that virtual world, why is the real world quite the opposite? that's the question.

      Delete
    2. I know it's too complex to be analysed this way. In fact, I didn't mean to suggest that the internet creates hatred. Far from it. In spite of all the friendship that one sees in that virtual world, why is the real world quite the opposite? that's the question.

      Delete
    3. "In spite of all the friendship that one sees in that virtual world, why is the real world quite the opposite? that's the question."- Ah ok... pardon my poor understanding of your essay. So, it is quite simple to put it this way. Like the internet, in real world also, if you float on the surface with 'hi','hello' (not much to your neighbor's/colleague's wife though) the world is mostly a very friendly place :-))

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Florentino’s Many Loves

Florentino Ariza has had 622 serious relationships (combo pack with sex) apart from numerous fleeting liaisons before he is able to embrace the only woman whom he loved with all his heart and soul. And that embrace happens “after a long and troubled love affair” that lasted 51 years, 9 months, and 4 days. Florentino is in his late 70s when he is able to behold, and hold as well, the very body of his beloved Fermina, who is just a few years younger than him. She now stands before him with her wrinkled shoulders, sagged breasts, and flabby skin that is as pale and cold as a frog’s. It is the culmination of a long, very long, wait as far as Florentino is concerned, the end of his passionate quest for his holy grail. “I’ve remained a virgin for you,” he says. All those 622 and more women whose details filled the 25 diaries that he kept writing with meticulous devotion have now vanished into thin air. They mean nothing now that he has reached where he longed to reach all his life. The

The Adventures of Toto as a comic strip

  'The Adventures of Toto' is an amusing story by Ruskin Bond. It is prescribed as a lesson in CBSE's English course for class 9. Maggie asked her students to do a project on some of the lessons and Femi George's work is what I would like to present here. Femi converted the story into a beautiful comic strip. Her work will speak for itself and let me present it below.  Femi George Student of Carmel Public School, Vazhakulam, Kerala Similar post: The Little Girl

Unromantic Men

Romance is a tenderness of the heart. That is disappearing even from the movies. Tenderness of heart is not a virtue anymore; it is a weakness. Who is an ideal man in today’s world? Shakespeare’s Romeo and Sarat Chandra Chattopadhyay’s Devdas would be considered as fools in today’s world in which the wealthiest individuals appear on elite lists, ‘strong’ leaders are hailed as nationalist heroes, and success is equated with anything other than traditional virtues. The protagonist of Colleen McCullough’s 1977 novel, The Thorn Birds [which sold more than 33 million copies], is torn between his idealism and his natural weaknesses as a human being. Ralph de Bricassart is a young Catholic priest who is sent on a kind of punishment-appointment to a remote rural area of Australia where the Cleary family arrives from New Zealand in 1921 to take care of the enormous estate of Mary Carson who is Paddy Cleary’s own sister. Meggy Cleary is the only daughter of Paddy and Fiona who have eight so

Octlantis

I was reading an essay on octopuses when friend John walked in. When he is bored of his usual activities – babysitting and gardening – he would come over. Politics was the favourite concern of our conversations. We discussed politics so earnestly that any observer might think that we were running the world through the politicians quite like the gods running it through their devotees. “Octopuses are quite queer creatures,” I said. The essay I was reading had got all my attention. Moreover, I was getting bored of politics which is irredeemable anyway. “They have too many brains and a lot of hearts.” “That’s queer indeed,” John agreed. “Each arm has a mind of its own. Two-thirds of an octopus’s neurons are found in their arms. The arms can taste, touch, feel and act on their own without any input from the brain.” “They are quite like our politicians,” John observed. Everything is linked to politics in John’s mind. I was impressed with his analogy, however. “Perhaps, you’re r

Country without a national language

India has no national language because the country has too many languages. Apart from the officially recognised 22 languages are the hundreds of regional languages and dialects. It would be preposterous to imagine one particular language as the national language in such a situation. That is why the visionary leaders of Independent India decided upon a three-language policy for most purposes: Hindi, English, and the local language. The other day two pranksters from the Hindi belt landed in Bengaluru airport wearing T-shirts declaring Hindi as the national language. They posted a picture on X and it evoked angry responses from a lot of Indians who don’t speak Hindi.  The worthiness of Hindi to be India’s national language was debated umpteen times and there is nothing new to add to all that verbiage. Yet it seems a reminder is in good place now for the likes of the above puerile young men. Language is a power-tool . One of the first things done by colonisers and conquerors is to