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Wisdom and Relationships


The above illustration is from the book Introducing NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) byJoseph O'Connor & John Seymour.

A quote from the book: "Acting wholeheartedly with wisdom means appreciating the relationships and interactions between ourselves and others."

We live in the age of the WorldWide Web and the Internet.  Web and Net.  Very evocative metaphors. They bring to mind images of relationships.  They do build up a lot of relationships too: on social networks and chat sites and so on.  Yet why is hatred increasing in the world?  Why more and more of egoism, cruelty, and one-upmanship?

Maybe, we have relegated relationships to the virtual world altogether.

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  1. Kokila guptaAugust 21, 2014 at 9:35 PM

    Insecurity ,I guess, is one of the basic reason and it manifests itself in various forms.Insecurity comes from inner incompleteness ... when we are not satisfied with what we are and pretend/imitate others,its insecurity .

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    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 21, 2014 at 9:57 PM

      Inner incompleteness - nice expression, Kokila. Yes, that's a serious problem today. Virtual relationships don't need commitment: we can go on feeling comfortable with that "incompleteness".

      Delete
  2. AnonymousAugust 21, 2014 at 10:58 PM

    Very well put. Behind the relationships of this virtual word proliferate hollow lives with no sense of meaning but the attitude is still evident.

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    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 22, 2014 at 7:53 PM

      Many people who make hundreds of friends in the virtual world may not have a single genuine friend in the real world because of that "hollowness".

      Delete
  3. AnonymousAugust 21, 2014 at 11:51 PM

    Very insightful...it do helps in questioning our roles

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    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 22, 2014 at 7:55 PM

      The roles are always inter-related, Chaitali. The butterfly in the pic is a symbol of the "Butterfly Effect" that a scientist suggested: the flap of a butterfly's wings in Washington can cause a tornado in Baghdad.

      Delete
  4. Ravish ManiAugust 22, 2014 at 12:44 PM

    Hatred is one of the way of looking at relationship. It doesn't have its own identity. A numerical six (6) can be viewed as numerical six or numerical nine (9). Increasing number of the figure (6) won't change the situation but seeing from different direction.

    A good thought provoking post.

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    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 22, 2014 at 7:57 PM

      I didn't want to write any comment, in fact. I just wanted to put that picture and leave it at that. But the commentary came by itself, like a compulsion... Hatred, crimes, violence - these have no easy solutions, I know. Perceptions - yes, how do we alter them?

      Delete
  5. AmitAagAugust 22, 2014 at 1:55 PM

    Profound insight! This thoughtful post is a mighty oak in a tiny seed!

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    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 22, 2014 at 7:58 PM

      Thanks, Amit. This is a picture which caught my fancy long ago. I bought the book a decade back after I attended a workshop on NLP. The picture speaks volumes.

      Delete
  6. Datta GhoshAugust 22, 2014 at 2:27 PM

    This post opens many recesses of heart unexplored. Why the hatred because its a web, a net it is complex. People do not interact face to face. A geniune smile has replaced a digitally created smiley. Are we really laughing when we are saying LOL?

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    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 22, 2014 at 7:59 PM

      Thanks for mentioning "smile", Datta. One thing I notice in Delhi is the conspicuous absence of smiling faces. We come across grim or even snarling faces...

      Delete
    2. Kokila guptaAugust 24, 2014 at 1:03 AM

      Apologies for barging in ...and its not relevan tto the topic yet I vcan't help to add...that this feature of Delhi was noticed by me too.. quite early .. and made me try hard to avoid starting my new life( read marriage and family )there...

      Delete
  7. Abhijit RayAugust 22, 2014 at 5:58 PM

    World Wide Web has connectivity not communication. HR managers insist on face to face chat to get emotions out. E-mail informs impersonally without emotion.

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    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 22, 2014 at 8:00 PM

      And a sense of security too, Abhijit. One feels secure from the distance between the real and the virtual.

      Delete
  8. Roohi BhatnagarAugust 22, 2014 at 6:09 PM

    Human population is increasing and hence everything is suffering. Relationships, social order, environment. Quantity increases the quality definitely decreases..

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 22, 2014 at 8:02 PM

      Population is indeed a problem. I can accept that. 13 years ago, when I was a newcomer in Delhi the road from where the city ended technically to my place used to be deserted. Very few vehicles and equally few people. Peace reigned supreme everywhere on that stretch. It was sheer joy riding my two-wheeler on that stretch. Today it has become more scary than the city! Population is the cause.

      But I wouldn't simplify the whole thing down to population, however.

      Delete
  9. Anunoy SamantaAugust 22, 2014 at 6:53 PM

    I guess social networks/chats have nothing to do with hatred... yes, they unknowingly are causing detachments with real world... but 'hatred'... ummm... no... I think what internet has done- it is like a live update of classified ads... it's telling you million times where juicy mango trees are located... too many leeches and too limited blood... hatred ought to grow ... Sigh :(

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 22, 2014 at 8:04 PM

      I know it's too complex to be analysed this way. In fact, I didn't mean to suggest that the internet creates hatred. Far from it. In spite of all the friendship that one sees in that virtual world, why is the real world quite the opposite? that's the question.

      Delete
    2. Tomichan MatheikalAugust 22, 2014 at 8:04 PM

      I know it's too complex to be analysed this way. In fact, I didn't mean to suggest that the internet creates hatred. Far from it. In spite of all the friendship that one sees in that virtual world, why is the real world quite the opposite? that's the question.

      Delete
    3. Anunoy SamantaAugust 25, 2014 at 1:06 PM

      "In spite of all the friendship that one sees in that virtual world, why is the real world quite the opposite? that's the question."- Ah ok... pardon my poor understanding of your essay. So, it is quite simple to put it this way. Like the internet, in real world also, if you float on the surface with 'hi','hello' (not much to your neighbor's/colleague's wife though) the world is mostly a very friendly place :-))

      Delete

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