Is your life driven by your past or more by your future? Psychologist
Alfred Adler argued that our goals and ideals (which lie in the future)
motivate our actions much more than our childhood and other past experiences.
Some of our goals and ideals may be far-fetched. Yet these future possibilities
guide us more strongly than all our past experiences.
Life is never an easy process. It is a protracted pain with occasional
bouts of joys and excitements. We accept all the pain as natural and
inevitable. It is like a long train journey in India. The dust and filth in the
train as well as outside, the noises and delays and tasteless food and umpteen
other unpleasant things are accepted as normal part of the journey. But the
tender coconut that comes when the Warangal sun is boiling your innards is a
memorable delight. The sight of the rear end of the train as a bend in the
rails is being negotiated may animate the child in you. We have a natural
affinity with joyful experiences though such experiences are rather ephemeral.
Life becomes bearable because of those small little joys.
Our goals and ideals serve similar functions in life as those small
little delights do during the train journey. These goals and ideals make life
appear purposeful. They add hope to the depressing realities around. They add
charm to the ruggedness of the journey called life.
Moreover, they make us feel that we are the masters of our lives rather
than puppets dangling on strings pulled by mysterious forces. They give us the
consoling impression that we are the causes rather than effects of what is
happening in our lives. They convince us that we possess the freedom as well as
ability to forge our future. That we are not just a bundle of scars.
There is something fictional about it all. The scars are more real than
the goals. But we need the goals more.
Later Adler modified the phraseology. He replaced ‘fictional finalism’
with ‘guiding self-ideal’. Either way, it means an individual’s visualisation
of what he/she wants to achieve in life. It gives sense and purpose and
direction to life. It gives us the power to choose what we will accept as truth
(truth is not as fixed and definite as we are often told by peddlers of
absolute truths), how we will behave and how we will interpret events.
However, our guiding self-ideals can be unrealistic and non-adaptive. It
really is fiction, in other words. Psychologically unhealthy people nurture
unrealistic and non-adaptive self-ideals. Healthy individuals have realistic
and adaptive goals and ideals.
J D Salinger’s classical protagonist, Holden Caulfield, is an example of
those with unrealistic and non-adaptive self-ideals. Holden is a 16-year-old
boy who has a messianic ideal. He wants to protect the innocence of children
from the perversions of the adults. He wants an innocent world, in other words.
His 9-year-old sister tells him that he is chasing a chimera. His favourite
teacher counsels him that it is better to live humbly for ordinary causes than
die heroically for a large cause.
Religious fundamentalists and messianic figures abound in our world in
spite of all the progress we have made with the help of science and
rationality. These are people driven by impossible goals and ideals. Driven by
sheer fiction. Just like Holden Caulfield. They are chasing chimeras.
One of the characteristics that separate the sane from the insane is the
honest, personable and accurate grasp they have on how realistic, how
achievable, their goals are. Are the goals of religious fundamentalists and
self-anointed messiahs realistic and achievable?
Fictional finalism is good. We all need guiding ideals and goals. But
these goals and ideals should be realistic and achievable. They should not be
meteors in the heavens for whose sake we sacrifice our fellow beings.
PS. This is powered by #BlogchatterA2Z
Read the previous parts of this series below:
A: Absurdity
D: Delusions
Tomorrow:
The Good Child
'The scars are more real than the goals.' Well said. Yet they're important to remind us of the effort we put to get through the journey of life.
ReplyDeleteBoth the scars and the goals have their place in life. But we shouldn't let scars determine the course of our life.
DeleteTotally agree with you that religious fundamentalists and their coterie are not only setting unachievable goals for themselves but convince people of the same. Live humbly for small cause is the right way as u wrote also small happiness as u pointed out adds charm to life. A wonderful series
ReplyDeleteDeepika Sharma
Glad you find this series good.
DeleteA very interesting post. Enjoyed reading.
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteI appreciate the concept. All the same, in my humble opinion, some goals are so worthy that it's glorious even to fail.
ReplyDeleteOf course. I was speaking about the impossible religious causes which make people fight among themselves.
DeleteSo is fictional finalism kind of akin to don quixote titlting at the windmills?
ReplyDeleteOh no. There are realistic goals galore. Psychologically healthy people have realistic goals and achieve them too thus giving purposeful direction to life.
DeleteWow, Tomichan! This is deep. My first read of your challenge this year. Will be coming back to catch up on the previous posts. #BlogchatterA2Z
ReplyDeleteWill be delighted to have you here more frequently.
DeleteVery meaningful. We do let our past drive our life more and hence mistakes repeat, or we get caught up in the vicious circle of despair. Learning from past from a detached space can help us craft a better future.
ReplyDeleteYes, we need to Learn from the past. After that the movement should be forward.
DeleteThat we are not just a bundle of scars. I loved your perspective and thought flow! Deeply insightful!
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteI think we must have some goals that are unrealistic and seemingly unachievable- they push you. Though I agree on the bit about not sacrificing your fellow beings for such goals... those are delusions..
ReplyDeleteRight. Probably it's also about knowing how much is in your possible reach.
DeleteI loved how you compared with the train journey . It was painted quite an imagery! And I completely agree with keeping our goals realistic. My favourite line is 'The scars are more real than the goals.'
ReplyDeleteI spent a substantial part of my life on trains!
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