Kejriwal’s Arrest in Modi’s Kurukshetra

For some mysterious reason, Arvind Kejriwal’s arrest reminded me of Haren Pandya. Maybe, because Pandya’s 21^st death anniversary is approaching (26 March).

Have you forgotten Haren Pandya? He was the Home Minister of Gujarat before Narendra Modi assumed dictatorial powers in that state. Modi chose to teach humility to Pandya by making him the Minister of State for revenue. Pandya chose not to learn humility from Modi and resigned from that post in Aug 2002.

Remember Gujarat of 2002? You should.

A fire engulfed a train on 27 Feb 2002 killing 58 Hindu pilgrims who were returning from Ayodhya where they had gone to discover their god, not very unlike Christopher Columbus undertaking a voyage to discover India and messing it all up.

What caused the fire in the train? Lord Ram knows probably. The upshot was that there was a riot in Gujarat by Hindus against Muslims.

Haren Pandya is one of the BJP leaders who gave statements in many places indicting Modi for the riots. He asserted that Modi held a meeting of top bureaucrats and police officers at his residence in the night of 27 Feb 2002 and told them to let the Hindus of Gujarat wreak vengeance on Muslims for a few days. What followed in Gujarat is history. A history that changed India altogether. What a vision Modi’s was!

That great vision of Modi killed Haren Pandya a few days later. Pandya was stupid to go around telling people too many unpleasant truths. So they done him in.

Who?

Apparently one criminal called Sohrabuddin Sheikh and his associate Tulsiram Prajapati. This Prajapati chap fired 5 bullets into the chest of Pandya just like that when the guy on his usual his morning walk. It is said that Sohrabuddin’s hand shivered in the last moment for some mysterious reason that Allah only knows. Gods play games that we ordinary mortals won’t understand. Modiji understands. So, soon the Gujarat police killed Sohrabuddin and Tulsiram in what is affectionately called ‘encounter killing.’

One police officer who was present in Modi’s meeting is still in prison because he too spoke out truths that became inconvenient for Modiji. Sanjiv Bhatt. Another police officer who gave evidence against Modiji, R B Sreekumar, was arrested rather late. But he was arrested. Justice may come late in Modiji’s India, but it will come for sure.

Have you heard of a woman called Teesta Setalvad? She fought for justice in Modiji’s Gujarat. What a traitor she was, you know, fighting for Muslims in a Hindu country! Our Hindu Hridaya Samrat, His Highness Narendraji Modiji, threw her in jail too.

Our Emperor is great. He simply throws all enemies of the nation in jail. Or gets them killed mysteriously. Even those who walk near enemy territories, those Indians who think that all Indians are their brothers and sisters, those who sympathise with the poor and downtrodden… anybody can be in prison at any time if they release one breath against the country of the Emperor. Jai Vishwaguru.

I think Justice Chandrachud will go to jail soon because he ordered some kind of enquiry against electoral bonds through which Modiji got a few crore rupees. What is few crore rupees, man, for Modiji? One day in the life of Modiji costs the nation crores and you’re speaking about some silly donations by wayward corporate men like Santiago Martin. Come on, yaar, let Modiji govern. Minimum governance and maximum government or something like that he promised, na? Give him time to deliver, man.

All enemies of Modiji should be eliminated from the scene. This is the great Kurukshetra, man. Lord Krishna (or Ram or anybody, it doesn’t matter) is standing behind His Highness Gandivadhariji Modiji inspiring him with 21^st century Gita. Kill. Killing enemies is the most vegetarian act in Rama Rajya. Maybe, I heard it wrong. Sanjay is not quite audible now. That fool is not exactly loyal, you know. Politics is slippery. Moreover I’m the blind Dhritarashtra.

That Vyasa who wrote all this history is a low caste, you see. His mother was a fisherman’s daughter. He was dark-skinned too. Ah! No wonder…

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