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| All pro-PM newspapers carried this ad today, 31 Oct 2025 |
No one recognised Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel as he stood
looking at the 182-m tall statue of himself. The people were waiting anxiously
for the Prime Minister whose eloquence would sway them with nationalistic
fervour on this 150th birth anniversary of Sardar Patel.
“Is this unity?” Patel wondered
looking at the gigantic version of himself. “Or inflation?”
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi chuckled
standing beside Patel holding a biodegradable iPhone. “The world has changed,
Sardar ji. They’ve built me in wax in London.” He looked amused.
“We have become mere hashtags, I’d
say.” That was Jawaharlal Nehru joining in a spirit of camaraderie. “I
understand that in the world’s largest democracy now history is optional.
Hashtags are mandatory.”
“You know, Sardar ji,” Gandhi said with more amusement, “the PM has released a new coin and a stamp in your honour on your 150th birth anniversary.”
“Ah, I watched the function too,”
Nehru said. “The PM said that ‘some people’ had ignored Sardar Patel’s
legacy for 70 years. I wonder why that man hates me so much.”
“He wanted you as independent India’s
first PM,” Gandhi said to Patel. “Instead ‘some people’ made their own
‘copyright’ PMs. Haha… Copyright PMs. The man has a sense of humour indeed.”
“He thinks Patel and I were enemies
of each other,” Nehru put in.
“Oh, yes, he thinks if Patel was the first
Prime Minister, India would have been a Hindu Rashtra long ago.”
“Patel, do you remember the heart
attack you had just five weeks after the Mahatma’s assassination? Indira and I rushed
to see you. And you said you should have gone with Bapu.” Nehru voice cracked.
“They never understood us, Nehru,”
Patel said. “They’re making convenient narratives now to villainise certain people.
They are projecting me as a hero now not because they love me. They know that I
was the one who got the RSS banned. They’re making me a hero now just to
belittle you, Nehru, and your successors.”
“You banned the RSS,” Nehru had
overcome his emotions. “And now everywhere RSS men are sitting, right from the
PM’s chair to the academic seats in universities.”
“Bhaiyo aur behno,” a
stentorian voice boomed in the air. The PM’s address to the nation in honour of
Sardar Patel had started.
“We’d better leave,” Patel said. “Why
to take the snake on the fence and put around our necks?”
“Happy Birthday, Sardar ji,” Gandhi said rather mischievously as they hurried out of the Unity Park in Kevadia, Gujarat, where unity would be assassinated again and again in a stentorian voice that will be telecast all over the nation and even abroad.
PS. This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon 2025
In literature, from Jonathan Swift’s Gulliver’s Travels to R.K. Narayan’s subtle humor in Indian settings, satire has served as a social conscience disguised in jest. It thrives on contradiction—making readers smile while stirring discomfort. As a medium, satire bridges intellect and emotion, inviting audiences to laugh first and reflect later.
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