The Life of an Activist

Book Review

 

Title: I am What I am: A Memoir

Author: Sunitha Krishnan

Publisher: Westland, Chennai, 2024

Pages: 284

Sunitha Krishnan is more of a conqueror than a survivor. She was gangraped at the age of 15, and that too because she had started working for the uplift of the girls in a village. She used to interact with the girls, motivate them to go back to school, give them remedial classes, and discuss topics like menstrual hygiene “and other intimate issues”. Some men of the village didn’t like such “revolutionary” moves coming from a little girl. Eight such men violated Sunitha Krishnan one evening as she was returning home from the village.

“Any sexual assault is a traumatic event and leaves deep scars on the psyche of the survivor. The shame, the guilt, the feeling of being tainted, the self-loathing that it brings in its wake is universal. I was no exception.” That is how the third chapter, title ‘The Girl Who Did Not Cry’, begins.

Sunitha Krishnan didn’t look at herself as a rape victim. She calls herself a survivor throughout the book. But she is much more than a survivor: a fighter, a conqueror. Because the simple organisation that she started for the welfare of sex workers and their children has grown into a huge establishment today. The nation honoured her with Padma Shri award in 2016.

This book is her autobiography. It tells us how she struggled in the initial stages with the NGO she cofounded for the rehabilitation and reintegration of trafficked women and their children. She had to surmount not only financial crunches but also threats and assaults from various quarters, particularly brothel-keepers and pimps. Even police officers and political leaders can be hurdles when you are genuinely trying to bring in revolutionary changes. Ironically, the very same people for whose welfare you’re spending your time and energy can also turn against you in crucial moments.

But there are a lot of good people too who support you. The book has plenty of them too and that’s what makes it an inspiring read in spite of the sombre theme it handles. We meet a few members of the Catholic religious congregation of Montfort Brothers who lend whatever assistance they can to the author’s noble efforts. We also meet many generous souls who donate liberally for the cause. There is a lot of goodness in the world – even in the underworld of sex trafficking and child abuse.

This book ennobles us with the potential of the human spirit to struggle against all odds and not only surmount them but also bring about revolutionary changes in the lives of hundreds of helpless humans, especially girl-children.

Sunitha Krishnan is also deeply aware of her own personal drawbacks such as jealousy and anger. The book is confessional in many places. However, the author comes across as a steely person with an admirable spirit of determination, resilience, and self-confidence. As the author admits in the prefatory note, it is not easy to relive memories, confront mistakes, reflect on strategies that failed, and acknowledge the price that others had to pay for the choices we make. She has done all that very boldly in the book. 

The impression that one gets while reading the book is that it was written in a hurry. The author does mention that in the ‘Note’ at the beginning. “I tore through the first draft like a tornado,” she admits. It was edited with the help of her husband, Rajesh Touchriver, filmmaker. Nevertheless, the impression of hurried writing remains in the book all through. Maybe slowness cannot be an attribute of a person like Sunitha Krishnan, whose entire life is a continuous, ceaseless activity, a perpetual motion.

The best thing about the book is its transparency. You see through the individual called Sunitha Krishnan. As the cover declares, she is a “survivor, fighter, and crusader.” And she is more: a persona that makes you stop and gasp.