Origin of Gods

Scripture

In the beginning was a chimpanzee. She gave birth to two daughters.  One daughter followed the rules of the tribe’s game and gave birth to more chimpanzees.  The other one rebelled and gave birth to a creature whom the traditional conservative devout chimpanzees called a monster.  The monster grew up and called himself man.

Man. Man was a narcissist as all rebels turned out to be eventually.  Man loved to be worshipped.  So he conquered everything.  Whatever he could.  But he called it everything.  When he killed the creeping reptiles and ate it he thought he was the lord of the universe.  So he created a god in his image and made the creeping serpent the devil.  The devil came in his scriptures to offer an apple to the woman.  The woman had to be subjugated.  She was demanding too much.  Especially with the protruding belly all the time.

Man hunted. Woman cooked and delivered.  Delivered real babies.  Man killed, woman produced life.  Life is pain.  Pain is reality.

Man is inventive.  He created the painkiller called god.   The best painkiller.  A painkiller that continues to be effective even to this day.  Some five million years after its birth.

God took millions of avatars.  My avatar is the cow.

I worship thee holy cow I fall at thy udder I suck your blood and call you god it’s not your milk that I want I want your blood I am a blood sucker I worship thee I suck your blood I don’t want your milk I want blood I am a bhakt I am a bhakt I am a bhakt

PS. Repeat I am a bhakt three times everyday in front of a cow that's eating plastic at the garbage dump nearest to you, for attaining moksha.