Fiction
His eyes stunned me. Otherwise I wouldn’t have noticed him at
all. How could I ever expect to meet a
school classmate of mine in a jungle of Uttarakhand wearing the garb of a
sage?
I was on a trekking
expedition to Hemkund and the Valley of Flowers along with a few students of
mine. We were all nearly exhausted after
the previous day’s trek from Govind Ghat to Ghangriya followed by the present
morning’s trek to Hemkund. We were at an
altitude of 3600 metres, nearly in touch with the angels or at least the
clouds. Some of my students had cheated
by ascending Hemkund on the backs of hired ponies. A teacher has to be very understanding,
almost like a god who is eager to forgive his creatures, his very own creatures. That’s why our ancient tradition puts the
guru on a par with the gods. But meeting
Shivan on the way to the Valley of Flowers unsettled me notwithstanding all the
understanding I had acquired during
the thirty odd years of my career as a guru.
Shivan and I were not the
best of friends in school. Shivan was
the black sheep while I was a line-toer.
Whenever I was sick of toeing the line I went with Shivan to the rubber
estate near the school to have a cigarette with him during the lunch
break. Shivan had brown eyes. “Cat,” we called him. His eyes resembled a cat’s. When Shivan hurled his choicest abuses on
those who called him Cat, I felt both admiration and pity for him. Once I gathered the courage to pat on his
back and say, “Why do you bother?” He
stared at me with his cat’s eyes and said, “Come with me.” I went with him. To the rubber estate that lay outside the
school campus. Those were days when
walls had not begun to divide borders.
Shivan gave me a
cigarette while lighting the one he had thrust between his lips. I watched the smoke emerging in circles and
spheres from his lips. I lighted my
cigarette too. “Never mind,” said Shivan
when the smoke made me cough.
My admiration for Shivan
boomed. I couldn’t even smoke while he
could create art out of the smoke that emerged from his lips.
“Shall I create a cloud
now?” Shivan asked me one day. I admired
the cloud he created with the cigarette smoke.
The friendship ended
soon, however. The annual exams came and
Shivan failed. I went on to attend
college and eventually became a teacher.
There was absolutely no connection between Shivan and me after school.
Until I met him three
decades later on the way to the Valley of Flowers.
“Life is funny, man,” he
spoke through the beard that covered his lips and slapped my back as he used to
do when we were in the rubber estate, he creating clouds with cigarette smoke
and I struggling not to cough.
He had been staring at me
while I was ascending the trekking path with a few students of mine. The eyes caught my attention. Cat’s eyes.
I stared into those eyes
which stared back into mine. That’s how
we met. I told my students to go
ahead. The Valley of Flowers awaited
them.
Shivan told me that he
had left Kerala during the Emergency in order to escape arrest because he was a
political activist questioning Indira Gandhi’s dictatorship. “I really didn’t
know anything. I just acted as my
leaders told me,” he said. “Later I
learnt that all political leaders are the same.”
His political leader
wanted to make him a martyr in order to gain popularity for the party. Shivan was shrewd enough to see through the
game. He ran away to escape being a
martyr for the sake of some crooked politicians.
Shivan’s journeys took
him to Haridwar. Then Rishikesh.
“These swamis,” said
Shivan, “they are no better than the politicians.” He met hundreds of them in
Haridwar and Rishikesh. “So I carried on.
On and on. Searching for
something. Something which my cat’s eyes
could not catch. And after a lot of
trekking, trekking you say, trekking, after a lot of trekking, man, I reached
here, in this jungle, peaceful jungle…”
“I’m glad you found peace
at last,” I said.
“Peace,” he grinned
through his unkempt beard.
I couldn’t decipher whether
it was a question or an exclamation or a sarcastic statement.
“I wish I could spend
more time with you,” I said. “But my
students are moving on and I have to be with them.”
“Dharma,” he said. Rather
cynically, I thought. “Go on, fulfil your
dharma.”
I was about to leave when
his voice arrested me, “Hey, do you by any chance have a cigarette with you?”
How much trekking does one have to do before finding peace? Is it really possible to be in peace with oneself?
ReplyDeleteYour story of one Siddhartha in the book left me asking the same question.
There's only one place where we can find peace: within. No trek, no exercise can help unless we accept the horror within. But treks and exercises can make us confront the devils within.
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