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Dissenters’ Group

 

At Bhoothathankettu Dam - the kind of beauty that stands out

I am a member of a unique WhatsApp group of just 15 members. We were all companions for a couple of years or so in the latter half of the 1970s. Teenagers then, now we are all in the twilight of our lives: senior citizens. people with very strong views and convictions which are as diverse as women’s attires. There is an atheist and a Catholic priest in the group. There are NRI businessmen and simple village folk. There are Congies and Commies. There are devout religious believers and ruthless blasphemers. All the diversity possible in a group of 15 men (yeah, it’s an exclusively male bastion) can be found in this group. Most of these men are very articulate too. Views and opinions are expressed clearly and without any fear of being rebuffed or assaulted. You are respected for what you are. Of course, every member maintains respectability even when dissenting strongly.

This is a rare group because the kind of responsible freedom enjoyed by the members here is not seen in groups usually. I think a certain degree of enlightened acceptance of others and their otherness is required in order to coexist so blissfully. We had an informal gathering last year in a hotel in Kochi. Drinks, food, jokes, and laughter constituted the agenda. The spirit of camaraderie that bound together the boundless disparities of minds overwhelmed me. The WhatsApp group is very active to this day. There are scores of messages that flash in the group each day. And nobody fights about any of these though many of them are mutually contradictory, mutually annihilating.

Nobody imposes anything on anyone here. This is my view. Take it or leave it. You can question me and yet we remain friends. I respect you for what you are. You respect me for what I am. As Fritz Perls put it, “I am not in this world to live up to your expectations and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful.” It is that beauty which this group creates every day.

Is it possible to create that beauty in larger groups? I doubt. Enlightenment is very choosy about its receivers.  

Comments

  1. The Moon's BOYFRIEND September 21, 2020 at 10:35 AM

    Sounds like the best group to be in, can I join.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalSeptember 21, 2020 at 11:32 AM

      Sorry, it's an exclusive group. Moreover you won't fit in, such is the structure of the group.

      Delete
  2. Rajeev MoothedathSeptember 21, 2020 at 11:21 AM

    It is great to know that one such group exists that can agree to disagree without being disagreeable.... Something that is becoming a luxury in the times that we live in.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalSeptember 21, 2020 at 11:33 AM

      This group has been in existence for over 2 years now. Doing exceptionally well too. Shows how we can be entirely different and yet be friends.

      Delete
  3. magiceyeSeptember 21, 2020 at 6:49 PM

    Power to your group! May these groups thrive and propagate!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalSeptember 21, 2020 at 8:05 PM

      Healthy friendships are possible notwithstanding individual differences. We've proved that.

      Delete
  4. rupam sarmaSeptember 22, 2020 at 10:17 AM

    That's great

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownSeptember 22, 2020 at 1:44 PM

    Yes.. What you said is true... We are free as birds in the group... We fly and rest where ever we wish...... Speak what ever we feel. Let us keep it up

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalSeptember 22, 2020 at 5:55 PM

      👍👍👍Ours is a rare group. Only geniuses create and manage to survive such diversity.

      Delete
  6. Ms AroraSeptember 24, 2020 at 9:58 PM

    as diverse as women’s attires - loved this comparison. Great to know where there is such a diversity, yet acceptance is therefore all. Thank you for sharing with all of us. A motivation for all.
    As you said, is it possible in a large group? Well, can't say at this moment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalSeptember 25, 2020 at 7:47 AM

      I think it won't work in a large group. Here we are old friends who have no selfish motives within the group.

      Delete
  7. Amit PattnaikSeptember 25, 2020 at 10:11 AM

    Such groups are very rare these days. I believe, agreeing to disagree is perhaps the first step towards forging a healthy, mature and strong bonding with another fellow human-being - one that emerges from an acceptance that views can, and often should, differ. Sadly however, these days opinions are becoming absolute and space for dialogue is shrinking drastically. Anywhere one looks, be it on social media or whatsapp groups or in the physical world, people expound their views and opinions but rarely listen to others'.
    Most of such fellows believe that to question is to be suspect! Dissent is equated with disloyalty and anyone who disagrees or is opposed to their beliefs and opinions is an enemy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalSeptember 25, 2020 at 10:58 AM

      The sociopolitical system determines people's behaviour to a large extent. We now have a system that polarises people into extremes: you are either with me or against me - no alternatives! You are either a supporter of the govt or antinational. Unfortunately visionless leaders end up doing this to their people.

      Delete
  8. K.A. AcharyaSeptember 25, 2020 at 3:34 PM

    You are so lucky to find such a group. Hope the world would emulate your group, but as you implied at the end, not likely possible. People just don't get it that we will continue having different perspectives. That doesn't mean that we are enemies. In fact, however much anyone tries, we all will never have exact same viewpoint, even if they shut us in a room for years, and teach us the same lessons.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalSeptember 25, 2020 at 3:55 PM

      I too consider myself lucky to be a part of this group. The youthful spirit of camaraderie is what holds the members together. Such a spirit is not easy to maintain in late adult life but we have managed it somehow.

      Delete
  9. Jyotirmoy SarkarSeptember 28, 2020 at 6:02 PM

    Its really excellent to know about such a group.

    ReplyDelete

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