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| Rand on my shelf |
Ayn Rand is a writer who enchanted millions of young
people in the second half of the 20th century. I was one of those
millions. My first encounter with Rand was utterly casual. I was travelling
back to Shillong from Kerala after the winter vacation. A friend who was on the
train was reading The Fountainhead. When he went to sleep after
lunch, I picked up the book and read a few pages. I was enchanted. Howard
Roark, the hero of that novel, was my kind of the ideal man in those days. He
would have had similar effect on a lot of young people in those days, I’m sure.
Roark is a genius who is condemned to be an outsider by the society’s
ineluctable mediocrity.
Roark remains outside the social
conventions. He refuses to be moulded by the normal social forces. He makes his
own choices which determine his life. He is his own man. And a defiant one too.
I loved him. I was in my 20s.
I continued to read the novel
whenever my friend was not reading it. By the time the train reached Guwahati –
it was a journey that lasted over 80 hours in those days; no better today, I’m
sure – I had read a substantial part of the book and my friend had finished it.
He lent it to me to my great delight.
The book got me hooked to Rand. I
borrowed whatever books of hers were there in the State Central Library of
Shillong. I couldn’t find a copy of Atlas Shrugged and so I bought
a personal copy which still remains on my bookshelf. Atlas Shrugged was
her last and arguably the best novel. John Galt became my ideal man for quite a
while. The man who refuses to make compromises with the society and its
mediocre ways with everything including its hypocritical morality. The man who
creates an alternative world altogether, a utopia where only people with
exceptional qualities are allowed.
Ayn Rand was a kind of Messiah for me
in those days. I was young and foolish. And with some idealistic dreams too.
Rand’s novels carried her philosophy unabashedly. Her characters preached her
philosophy one way or the other: the heroes proclaimed it openly even in
homily-like orations. Her villains showed the evil of all other worlds – other
than what Rand believed to be good. I became Rand’s diehard fan. I quoted her
off and on. I urged all my friends to read Rand. I thought I had found my
Messiah.
But my admiration for Rand didn’t
last beyond my thirties. The harsh realities of the actual world hit me hard
from all sides. Howard Roark and John Galt belong to novels, I realised. They
could have belonged to the Bible. They don’t belong to my world. Not yours
either. Not any real person’s.
It’s all very nice to listen to a
character declaiming: “Tell man that he must live for others… Not a single one
of them has ever achieved it and not a single one ever will. His every living
impulse screams against it. But don’t you see what you accomplish? … He’ll
obey… Use big vague words. ‘Universal Harmony’ – ‘Eternal Spirit’ – ‘Divine
Purpose’ – ‘Nirvana’ – ‘Paradise’ – ‘The Dictatorship of the Proletariat’.”
Such eloquence hits you somewhere
whether you are a humanist or communist, Hindu or Christian, whatever.
Another sample: “Whenever anyone
accuses some person of being ‘unfeeling,’ he means that the person is just. He
means that that person has no causeless emotions and will not grant him a
feeling which he does not deserve. He means that ‘to feel’ is to go against
reason, against moral values, against reality.” For Rand, reason and emotion were not
antithetical to each other; they were complementary. Her heroes had the best of
reason and the best of emotions. They were perfect blends of the body and the
mind.
Who wouldn’t love such heroes? I did.
They haunted my dreams.
But for a short period. Rand’s dreams are too sweet to be real. I knew that her mediocre characters with all their greed and envy and meanness were the real people. I was one of those real people too. I still am. I shelved Rand long ago. I don’t think I will ever read her again. But I admire her.
PS. This post is part of #BlogchatterA2Z 2023
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Matsys
Coming up tomorrow: Spirituality
As far as the themes and Rand's philosophy are concerned I have lost faith in them. I have come to believe and I think rightly so that the world Rand envisages are not possible within the constraints we labour under. But as far as the charm of the books are concerned I do read portions of the books even now. I like the way she argues her philosophy through her characters.
ReplyDeleteThat's just how I feel too. But i keep admiring her, however.
DeleteI really like it when you say I was young and foolish and believed Rand. Don't we all do that when we are naive and young? I guess that's what the writers of this genre make money of😁 I am glad I am mature now but I do miss my days of innocence. Minimal responsibilities and the privilege of day dreaming while reading books.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, what makes life beautiful is the innocence of the childhood and the idealism of the youth.
DeleteI guess she knew it wasn't possible in real life so she poured it in fiction. I like the title of the post, very apt.
ReplyDeleteRand really wanted to materialise her dreams. She founded a society for that. I like her for all that. She was an incorrigible optimist.
DeleteWorld reality is different from fictional realm. It will take time to grasp the things. The same story with me, with Ayan Rand.
ReplyDeleteRand must have left a lot of people disillusioned. Yet i admire her 😊
DeleteI loved how you reflected upon your own younger self through the author's work! Kudos.
ReplyDeleteCertain authors influence us so heavily in our youth!
DeleteHari OM
ReplyDeleteI have succeeded in never reading anything of Rand - the philsophy Objectivism that arose directly from her writing never held appeal... YAM xx
Perhaps it's about our upbringing and the sociocultural environment too.
DeleteWas a great fan too. read all her books including her 'The virtue of selfishness'. Now her work is up there with all other mythologies 😜
ReplyDeleteSo this has happened to many, this enchantment and subsequent disillusionment.
DeleteI remember reading Rand when I was a naive seventeeen year old because my elder sister had read and raved about it. I also raved, but only to follow the crowd, I never understood the books at that time, maybe because I was too young to comprehend what I was reading. Somehow never got around to going back to the books later
ReplyDeleteYouth loved her in those days. But the present youth are not likely to be enamoured of her.
DeleteA very interesting perspective on Rand's philosophy. I remember being 20 and falling in love with her simple philosophy.
ReplyDeleteThat's yet another testimony to Rand's charm on youth.
DeleteNever read anything of Rand. But if you read it today. How would see it? I have friend every decade of her life she reads, The Good Earth. By Pearl Buck. Every time she has an different look on.
ReplyDeleteCoffee is on, and stay safe.
Pearl Buck can keep inspiring with every rereading.
DeleteI read Rand many moons back. But I don't remember the books much except for the idealism. I do plan to read them again, to refresh myself.
ReplyDeleteAll the best. I'd be interested to know whether you still like Rand.
DeleteI enjoyed The Fountainhead when I was younger. My philosophy is that there is a certain age to enjoy certain books. Maybe that is what put you off Rand later in life. I still like her books.
ReplyDeleteThat's true, there's a certain age for certain authors. Only geniuses can appeal to everyone.
Delete