Skip to main content

Friends




ESTRAGON: Don't touch me! Don't question me! Don't speak to me! Stay with me!
VLADIMIR: Did I ever leave you?
ESTRAGON: You let me go.
[Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot]

Whenever I think of friendship the above dialogue rushes to my mind.  Friendship is an abiding presence primarily.  Not physical presence.  It’s an understanding that transcends physicality (don’t touch), emotionality (don’t question), and verbality (don’t speak).

There was a time, brief but excruciatingly protracted, when Joe, Nick and Larry were my friends.  They ended up making me lose faith in humanity itself. 

Can't locate the source: from the vast ocean of Internet
Joe thought that I had an eye on his wife. Then he thought that my one eye was always on someone’s wife.  So, like a good friend, he reminded me of the tenth commandment.  “You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife,” he quoted.  I told him he was wrong.  Friends can disagree, after all.  I quoted the tenth commandment as it appears in the Bible: ““You shall not covet your neighbour’s house; you shall not covet your neighbour’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbour’s.”

Like a good friend, I drew his attention to the order: house, wife, male servant, female servant, ox, donkey, anything.  The commandment was a blatant display of the Jewish priorities.  The wife was just another animal or thing in that list.  I was being a good friend pointing out to him the relativity of all truths including the revealed ones in the sacred scriptures.  The “blasphemer” in me rattled his religious sensibilities.  Like a good friend, he took it upon himself to proselytise me, to bring religion into my fallen soul. 

Nick thought I was just an immature twerp who was hilarious fun to be with.  He saw himself as the heroic acrobat in a riveting circus in which I was the clown in motley.  He found an exquisite delight in spanking my bum with a splintered plank which produced an explosive sound that regaled the audience. 

Larry was the typical missionary whose penetrating eye was perpetually stuck on the degraded sinner in me.  By virtue of his social status which let him hobnob with people who matter in the society, he got a whole lot of people to work towards my spiritual redemption.  They cut off my water supply, electricity supply and whatever else they could cut off including my self-esteem.  I understood the value of friends or at least that of the society.  Unable to put my understanding to practical use, I quit.  Never turned back ever since.

Books became my best friends.  If there were a god, he (I choose that masculine pronoun for sheer convenience; I know that a penis would be of as little use to god as would a vagina be unless our gods are those entertaining creatures in our ancient myths) would be the ideal friend.  Seeing everything, he would be in a position to understand everything.  Friendship is that understanding.  Such understanding unfolds the universe within ourselves.  Even as Einstein’s insights unfolded some of the mysteries of the cosmos.

PS. Written for Indispire Edition 181: #friendship


PPS. Not all people are Joe, Nick and Larry.  There are a few who strive to rise to the divinity that makes a human being a companion.  May their tribe increase! Let me also dedicate this post to all my friends including Joe, Nick and Larry.

Comments

  1. I agree with you. I was smiling a lot while reading this post. Of late, after joining a new work place, I have been continuously writing about friendship and societal artwork that I have no sense of understanding.

    The dialogue in the first paragraph is so apt that it made my heart be in peace for knowing that minds of great beings also had the same opinion on friendship.

    It was on the lines of that opinion that I thought of giving you a small present as a token for being a part of never letting me go from your writings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beckett's dialogue is something that remained etched in my memory from the time I studied the play for MA. I'm acutely conscious of the absurdity of my idealistic demands from a friend. That's one reason why I desist from making friends. The other reasons are obvious from the post.

      I'm grateful for your gift though I have this nagging tendency to analyse even such a gesture from a friend. Your clarification comes in handy.

      Delete
  2. Very apt. If we realised that God is our friend then we would be in peace with ourselves knowing that one person who accepts us and willing to listen to us unconditionally

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unconditional acceptance comes from total understanding which only a god or godlike person can do. Glad to see you here.

      Delete
  3. true friendship is understanding

    ReplyDelete
  4. You started off with my favorite text... There are more Joes, Nicks and Harrys in this world unfortunately than those who can be true friends.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Adventures of Toto as a comic strip

  'The Adventures of Toto' is an amusing story by Ruskin Bond. It is prescribed as a lesson in CBSE's English course for class 9. Maggie asked her students to do a project on some of the lessons and Femi George's work is what I would like to present here. Femi converted the story into a beautiful comic strip. Her work will speak for itself and let me present it below.  Femi George Student of Carmel Public School, Vazhakulam, Kerala Similar post: The Little Girl

The Little Girl

The Little Girl is a short story by Katherine Mansfield given in the class 9 English course of NCERT. Maggie gave an assignment to her students based on the story and one of her students, Athena Baby Sabu, presented a brilliant job. She converted the story into a delightful comic strip. Mansfield tells the story of Kezia who is the eponymous little girl. Kezia is scared of her father who wields a lot of control on the entire family. She is punished severely for an unwitting mistake which makes her even more scared of her father. Her grandmother is fond of her and is her emotional succour. The grandmother is away from home one day with Kezia's mother who is hospitalised. Kezia gets her usual nightmare and is terrified. There is no one at home to console her except her father from whom she does not expect any consolation. But the father rises to the occasion and lets the little girl sleep beside him that night. She rests her head on her father's chest and can feel his heart...

Two Women and Their Frustrations

Illustration by Gemini AI Nora and Millie are two unforgettable women in literature. Both are frustrated with their married life, though Nora’s frustration is a late experience. How they deal with their personal situations is worth a deep study. One redeems herself while the other destroys herself as well as her husband. Nora is the protagonist of Henrik Ibsen’s play, A Doll’s House , and Millie is her counterpart in Terence Rattigan’s play, The Browning Version . [The links take you to the respective text.] Personal frustration leads one to growth into an enlightened selfhood while it embitters the other. Nora’s story is emancipatory and Millie’s is destructive. Nora questions patriarchal oppression and liberates herself from it with equanimity, while Millie is trapped in a meaningless relationship. Since I have summarised these plays in earlier posts, now I’m moving on to a discussion on the enlightening contrasts between these two characters. If you’re interested in the plot ...

Hindutva’s Contradictions

The book I’m reading now is Whose Rama? [in Malayalam] by Sanskrit scholar and professor T S Syamkumar. I had mentioned this book in an earlier post . The basic premise of the book, as I understand from the initial pages, is that Hindutva is a Brahminical ideology that keeps the lower caste people outside its terrain. Non-Aryans are portrayed as monsters in ancient Hindu literature. The Shudras, the lowest caste, and the casteless others, are not even granted the status of humans.  Whose Rama? The August issue of The Caravan carries an article related to the inhuman treatment that the Brahmins of Etawah in Uttar Pradesh meted out to a Yadav “preacher” in the last week of June 2025. “Yadavs are traditionally ranked as a Shudra community,” says the article. They are not supposed to recite the holy texts. Mukut Mani Singh Yadav was reciting verses from the Bhagavad Gita. That was his crime. The Brahmins of the locality got the man’s head tonsured, forced him to rub his nose at t...

The Real Enemies of India

People in general are inclined to pass the blame on to others whatever the fault.  For example, we Indians love to blame the British for their alleged ‘divide-and-rule’ policy.  Did the British really divide India into Hindus and Muslims or did the Indians do it themselves?  Was there any unified entity called India in the first place before the British unified it? Having raised those questions, I’m going to commit a further sacrilege of quoting a British journalist-cum-historian.  In his magnum opus, India: a History , John Keay says that the “stock accusations of a wider Machiavellian intent to ‘divide and rule’ and to ‘stir up Hindu-Muslim animosity’” levelled against the British Raj made little sense when the freedom struggle was going on in India because there really was no unified India until the British unified it politically.  Communal divisions existed in India despite the political unification.  In fact, they existed even before the Briti...