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The Vampire Within



There was a period in my life when I regarded myself as the personification of perfection.  When I grew out of it I realised that the pretension was a subconscious ploy to conceal the painful conflicts within.  It took years and a lot of people’s relentless jabs and prods for me to come to terms with the insecurity feelings that haunted my inner being like a bloodsucking vampire. 

When I exorcised the vampire from my being, I found myself withdrawing from society altogether.  I realised with some horror how unfit I was in the society: incapable of understanding people’s underlying motives and meanings and hence incapable of dealing with them without hurting myself. 

Solitude becomes a soothing balm when you learn to accept it as your co-traveller.  There’s a young friend, however, who draws out words from me occasionally.  During one of the long conversations I had with this friend, I asked, “What is there in common between you and me that holds us together?”  Pat came the reply, “Insanity.”

I was both amused and consoled.  The young friend is aware of the vampire within us.  I realised with much amusement that exorcism does not drive out the inner vampire.  The vampire is me.  I’m sucking my own blood.  I have no escape from it.  I cannot escape from myself.  I can only keep the vampire on leashes made of such diaphanous things as thoughts and words. 




PS. Written for Indispire Edition 196: #theperfectme

Note on the pictures: The top one is from my backyard and the bottom one is from Nisargadhama forest in Kodagu.

Comments

  1. An interesting Write-up on the Prompt, Tomichan Matheikal..Loved reading it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the prompt as well as this appreciation.

      Delete
  2. Hope we control ourselves & we don't become vampires for others or the society...
    Perfection may be tough, but insanity is achievable :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Very nice take on the prompt and presented very nicely.

    ReplyDelete
  4. hope for self control from every individual

    ReplyDelete
  5. so beautiful... Vampire and evil resides within us all.. and its upon us to take charge not let it win..

    ReplyDelete
  6. That was deep...I could relate to it instantly.

    ReplyDelete

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