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The Vampire Within



There was a period in my life when I regarded myself as the personification of perfection.  When I grew out of it I realised that the pretension was a subconscious ploy to conceal the painful conflicts within.  It took years and a lot of people’s relentless jabs and prods for me to come to terms with the insecurity feelings that haunted my inner being like a bloodsucking vampire. 

When I exorcised the vampire from my being, I found myself withdrawing from society altogether.  I realised with some horror how unfit I was in the society: incapable of understanding people’s underlying motives and meanings and hence incapable of dealing with them without hurting myself. 

Solitude becomes a soothing balm when you learn to accept it as your co-traveller.  There’s a young friend, however, who draws out words from me occasionally.  During one of the long conversations I had with this friend, I asked, “What is there in common between you and me that holds us together?”  Pat came the reply, “Insanity.”

I was both amused and consoled.  The young friend is aware of the vampire within us.  I realised with much amusement that exorcism does not drive out the inner vampire.  The vampire is me.  I’m sucking my own blood.  I have no escape from it.  I cannot escape from myself.  I can only keep the vampire on leashes made of such diaphanous things as thoughts and words. 




PS. Written for Indispire Edition 196: #theperfectme

Note on the pictures: The top one is from my backyard and the bottom one is from Nisargadhama forest in Kodagu.

Comments

  1. Sreedhar BhattaramNovember 19, 2017 at 10:22 AM

    An interesting Write-up on the Prompt, Tomichan Matheikal..Loved reading it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalNovember 19, 2017 at 10:34 AM

      Thank you for the prompt as well as this appreciation.

      Delete
  2. Anita SabatNovember 19, 2017 at 7:21 PM

    Hope we control ourselves & we don't become vampires for others or the society...
    Perfection may be tough, but insanity is achievable :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Jyotirmoy SarkarNovember 19, 2017 at 10:24 PM

    Very nice take on the prompt and presented very nicely.

    ReplyDelete
  4. yatrasblogNovember 23, 2017 at 1:37 PM

    hope for self control from every individual

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownNovember 23, 2017 at 3:05 PM

    so beautiful... Vampire and evil resides within us all.. and its upon us to take charge not let it win..

    ReplyDelete
  6. Alka SaklaniDecember 28, 2017 at 2:18 PM

    That was deep...I could relate to it instantly.

    ReplyDelete

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