One
of the 30 principles suggested by Dale Carnegie to win friends and influence
people reads: “The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.” I
used to be a terrorist at arguments because I could never accept defeat. Eventually, however, I learnt that winning an
argument was one of the most stupid things to do. Argument itself is stupid. It brings no benefit to anyone.
Inflated
ego is what makes us want to win arguments.
I must have made a fool of myself umpteen times with my inflated
ego. That was in my youth. As I grew older I realised the futility of
arguments and the ludicrousness of inflated ego. I stopped arguing. In fact, I stopped conversations as far as
possible. I limited my encounters with
people to basic essentials. That was
part of my attempt at gaining mastery over myself.
Now
I can laugh at myself. Earlier people
laughed at me, albeit behind my back.
Now what people say about me doesn’t matter to me. I am my own master. I know what I am and what I am not. I don’t need appreciation. I don’t need to prove anything to anybody.
However,
in my blog I do question a lot of things.
I believe it is the duty of a writer to question certain wrongs
happening in the society or country. Master
over myself does not mean I tolerate anything and everything.
Philosopher
Karl R. Popper spoke about the paradox
of tolerance. Unlimited tolerance will lead to the disappearance of
tolerance, he argued. If we extend
unlimited tolerance to the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed and
tolerance with them, said Popper. He is
right. That’s why I question a lot of
things happening in my country in the name of religions and gods. My questioning has nothing to do with my
self-mastery.
I
am tolerant. Very much so. But I do not tolerate intolerance. That’s a paradox, apparently. But it is not victory over anyone that I
seek. I do not want to be a victor over
anyone except myself. To be my own master,
I need an environment of tolerance.
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