The Real Master

One of the 30 principles suggested by Dale Carnegie to win friends and influence people reads: “The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.” I used to be a terrorist at arguments because I could never accept defeat. Eventually, however, I learnt that winning an argument was one of the most stupid things to do. Argument itself is stupid. It brings no benefit to anyone.

Inflated ego is what makes us want to win arguments. I must have made a fool of myself umpteen times with my inflated ego. That was in my youth. As I grew older I realised the futility of arguments and the ludicrousness of inflated ego. I stopped arguing. In fact, I stopped conversations as far as possible. I limited my encounters with people to basic essentials. That was part of my attempt at gaining mastery over myself.

Now I can laugh at myself. Earlier people laughed at me, albeit behind my back. Now what people say about me doesn’t matter to me. I am my own master. I know what I am and what I am not. I don’t need appreciation. I don’t need to prove anything to anybody.

However, in my blog I do question a lot of things. I believe it is the duty of a writer to question certain wrongs happening in the society or country. Master over myself does not mean I tolerate anything and everything.

Philosopher Karl R. Popper spoke about the paradox of tolerance. Unlimited tolerance will lead to the disappearance of tolerance, he argued. If we extend unlimited tolerance to the intolerant, then the tolerant will be destroyed and tolerance with them, said Popper. He is right. That’s why I question a lot of things happening in my country in the name of religions and gods. My questioning has nothing to do with my self-mastery.

I am tolerant. Very much so. But I do not tolerate intolerance. That’s a paradox, apparently. But it is not victory over anyone that I seek. I do not want to be a victor over anyone except myself. To be my own master, I need an environment of tolerance.

PS. Written for Indispire Edition 208: #winyourself

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