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Winning Hearts and more


The strength of your opinions is directly proportional to the strength of your convictions. Convictions are an integral part of strong characters. But expressing them in the form of opinions may not always be the best thing to do especially if you seek to win hearts. If you seek to be popular, rather.

All the people who matter in history had strong convictions and hence strong opinions. From the Buddha to the Mahatma, from Socrates to Bertrand Russell, they all expressed their opinions boldly because popularity was not their primary concern. As Bernard Shaw pointed out, “Gentle Jesus, meek and mild” is a snivelling modern invention because the Jesus of the gospels went to the extent of calling the dominant religious leaders of his time “a brood of vipers” and he did not hesitate to use the whip against some of them. The brood of vipers put him on the cross, of course.

Strong opinions can be lethal. Only those who have nothing to lose can afford them. We have much to lose today. Reputations are made or marred as easily as Whatsapp messages are forwarded. Your promotion at the workplace may depend on saying things like “What a perfect shine! Which polish do you apply on your shoes, sir?”

If you want to rise in life you need to know how to win hearts. William Hazlitt advised his son long ago. That’s true today too. When I was teaching that letter of Hazlitt’s in a senior secondary class long ago, my students immediately responded. “Flattery, doesn’t it mean that, sir?” They were very familiar with what they called chamchagiri in that residential school which had a rather closed, well-knit community, a miniature society.

All societies demand a high degree of chamchagiri. I have lived long enough to see people rising to positions they never deserved merely because they had mastered the art of winning the right hearts. I never learnt that art. I lost much due to that neglect or disability. I wish someone had taught me that art in my childhood.

So I agree with fellow blogger Arvind Passey who raises the issue in the latest edition of In(di)spire:


Be flexible if you wish to be an idol in the marketplace of the aam aadmi. It’s good to master the art hunting with the hound and running with the hare. You may even become the Prime Minister of the Nation.








Comments

  1. जितेन्द्र माथुरFebruary 18, 2019 at 11:00 AM

    Fortunate are those who have been able to master the art of CHAMCHAGIRI and that too quite early (in the beginning itself of their journey in the practical world). At least in India, only yes-men (and women) are able to progress speedily in their careers and gain much more than what they truly deserve. And then, they also are able to gain their CHAMCHAS. Thus the chain of CHAMCHAGIRI continues. It's natural because the Indian psyche puts highest premium on (material and tangible) success only and not the merits and virtues of individuals. The truth-speaking people who are never hesitant to call a spade a spade are bound to be on the losing side. You are right in asserting that strong opinions are lethal. Speaking truth is difficult. And hearing truth is even more difficult.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalFebruary 18, 2019 at 11:36 AM

      Thank you for your bravery to express yourself so clearly. It has become hard to speak the truth, the nation has been perverted so much!

      Delete
  2. Rajeev MoothedathFebruary 22, 2019 at 9:25 AM

    "I never learnt that art. I lost much due to that neglect or disability. I wish someone had taught me that art in my childhood"- I doubt whether you would have learnt it even if taught.There is something called a basic inborn personality....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalFebruary 22, 2019 at 12:13 PM

      True. Even at my present age, when i'm about to be a senior citizen, i find myself rebelling against a lot of things. The fundamental personality won't change whatever happens.

      Delete

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