“All parents damage their
children,” as Mitch Albom observed in The
Five People You Meet in Heaven.
Parents play the most vital role in the formation of their children’s
character. Right from the hug in infancy
to every word uttered to them or in their presence later on, everything makes
certain impressions – many of them indelible – on the child’s mind. Everything influences the child’s character.
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| Image courtesy ocduk |
Psychologist Erik Erikson
divided an individual’s life into eight stages and identified the psychological
crisis that dominates in each stage. From
birth to about the age of 18 months, the crisis is trust versus mistrust. The human
infant is an utterly helpless creature unlike the infants of other animals. It needs a tremendous lot of tender care and
attention. An infant that receives the
necessary care and attention develops a sense of trust. It helps the child is to grow up into a
person who will trust other people. On
the other hand, an infant that is deprived of such attention will be a timid
and suspicious individual. Such a person
will suffer from anxiety, feelings of insecurity and mistrust of the world
around him.
From 18 months to three
years of age, the child is learning to be independent in its own ways. It demands a lot of patience from parents or
the care-takers as the child will play with whatever comes to its hands. Proper upbringing will develop the child’s sense of autonomy. Otherwise the child grows up acquiring a
sense of shame and doubts. Lack of self-esteem is a serious problem
that many people develop because of the improper care given to the child in
this stage.
Well, I took Erikson as a
model. There are other complex issues at
work. For example, the family
environment, the parents’ behaviour towards each other, their presence or
absence, their temperament and attitudes and a whole lot of other things come
into play in the formation of the child’s character.
Erikson goes on to say
that from the age of three to five, children begin to plan activities, make up
games, and initiate activities with others.
Nowadays children of this age group go to school and hence the role of
parents in the character formation become slightly less compared to the previous
two stages. Nevertheless, parents remain
the most important persons for the child.
A child whose initiatives are
not attended to properly will develop a sense of guilt. They may feel like a
nuisance to others and, therefore, remain followers who won’t venture
anything new on their own.
A lot more can be said on
this matter. The purpose of this post is
not to teach psychology, however. It is
just to say that parents make or break their children.
This one was really a very nice read about child Psychology, thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteGlad to know that you found it useful.
DeleteVery apt message sir to all parents. Comes in very handy to me today as it is my daughter's eleventh birthday.
ReplyDeleteHearty birthday greetings to your daughter who is at the threshold of adolescence, the most fascinating period in life.
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