Skip to main content

Companionship and some smiles


One of the paradoxes of human life is that society corrupts but isolation destroys.  While critiquing Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness, J H Stape points out a number of related paradoxes.  Civilisation is a hypocritical veneer over savagery; yet it is a valuable achievement to be vigilantly guarded. Morality is a sham; but without it human beings become sham humans. Awareness is superior to ignorance; yet ignorance can be bliss in many ways. A person who sells his soul does at least have a soul to sell, while most people who try to redeem their souls through quotidian religious practices do not have a soul at all.  

The latest Indispire theme [Human beings need someone in their life. At least a person to ask occasionally, how one feels now. What's your say on it?] brought to my mind these paradoxes. The theme is essentially about relationships. It can be rephrased as: Can we live alone? Do we need at least one companion?

Hermits live alone. However, their god(s) and spiritual practices save them from the potential destructiveness of isolation. There are recluses who are not hermits.  Their dislike of human society sustains their isolation. I guess they find some means of engagement which may be a less spiritual alternative to the hermit’s choice. Pets, garden, books or something else may be their saviours. If they are happy with their choices, I am no one to question them. If they are not happy with the choices, I still have no right to question them as long as their discontent does not spill out in antisocial forms.

Personally, I am not enamoured of any society. I never fit into any of the societies that were kind enough to tolerate me from my childhood. And I had no choice but tolerate them too. Given a choice along with the economic buffers it entails, I would choose quasi-isolation.  Books are good companions. They are not only harmless but also intellectually stimulating and, to some extent, emotionally sustaining. But the emotional sustenance provided by books is a virtual reality, almost like what I derive from blogging. Some real emotions are good. A caring touch, an affectionate glance, some real reciprocity is very reassuring. It makes me feel more human. And that feeling has a comfortable warmth about it.

That warmth can occasionally spark off into a smouldering fire. That’s another inevitable paradox of human life. Since there is no safe escape from such paradoxes, I choose the minimum required. What really matters is that there are more smiles in life with that minimum.





Comments

  1. UnknownJuly 22, 2016 at 7:12 PM

    I agree with you. I am same kind of person. Not very social, but have some nice friends and family whose company I like a lot. We can not survive only in virtual world. We do need someone to talk to,love, and share. These are basic human instincts.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Pranju chakrapaniJuly 22, 2016 at 7:26 PM

    Somehow I practice the same minimalistic approach and can vouch for the fact that a companion, living or non living, is the minimum requirement for one to not fall prey to the mental trauma of complete isolation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalJuly 23, 2016 at 6:53 AM

      Whenever I let more people into my life I was inviting trouble. Nonliving things as friends! Well, that's an interesting option. I've mentioned my choice of books.

      Delete
  3. sunaina sharmaJuly 23, 2016 at 4:13 PM

    Heart of Darkness is one of my favorite novel....read it long time back when I was doing graduation....I want to read it again now to see how it will affect me.....You depict the dilemma of isolation and companionship so well. There are some, me included, who find solace in isolation or in the world of books. But then, when we blog, we connect, we want an interaction. And then, there are times when that gentle touch and an honest care is all that we need to keep ourselves sane.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalJuly 23, 2016 at 9:25 PM

      It's a challenging novel. That's why it's a classic.

      Somewhere in this virtual space, probably we can escape from Kurtz and other missionaries. I hope. Our virtual isolation and our virtual companionship matter to us. And they may be a threat to the mullas and babas.

      Delete
  4. UnknownJuly 23, 2016 at 5:15 PM

    Loved the gravitas of these lines-

    Civilisation is a hypocritical veneer over savagery; yet it is a valuable achievement to be vigilantly guarded. Morality is a sham; but without it human beings become sham humans. Awareness is superior to ignorance; yet ignorance can be bliss in many ways.

    ReplyDelete
  5. incredibleopinionsJuly 23, 2016 at 8:43 PM

    There is a fine line between solitude and be alone. Some people find happiness in their solitude because they have found their belongingness to themselves which is far better than anyone else.

    ReplyDelete
  6. incredibleopinionsJuly 23, 2016 at 8:44 PM

    There is a fine line between solitude and be alone. Some people find happiness in their solitude because they have found their belongingness to themselves which is far better than anyone else.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalJuly 23, 2016 at 9:20 PM

      The line is rather crude. Certain powers determine it. It may be the terrorists, politicians, religious preachers...

      Delete
  7. Nima DasJuly 28, 2016 at 3:44 PM

    Interesting read,as usual.I fully agree with you ,sometimes its better to seek one's own company rather then be in the midst of people who are hollow and fake.When I was young I had a higher level of tolerance and was very social,now i find it very difficult to interact with people who's company can be a pain. Like you say Ignorance is bliss and I am happy with my books ,with the telly and with blogs.Its true you can feel lonely in a crowd.Being with myself is actually enjoyable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tomichan MatheikalJuly 30, 2016 at 7:31 AM

      If you are enjoying your own company you will never be lonely. I live alone with my wife. But I am the happiest when nobody interferes. The virtual world of blogging is ok for me. Enough for me.

      It's life and its experiences that make us what we are to a great extent. My own experiences with people have been terrible.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pranita a perverted genius

Bulldozer begins its work at Sawan Pranita was a perverted genius. She had Machiavelli’s brain, Octavian’s relentlessness, and Levin’s intellectual calibre. She could have worked wonders if she wanted. She could have created a beautiful world around her. She had the potential. Yet she chose to be a ruthless exterminator. She came to Sawan Public School just to kill it. A religious cult called Radha Soami Satsang Beas [RSSB] had taken over the school from its owner who had never visited the school for over 20 years. This owner, a prominent entrepreneur with a gargantuan ego, had come to the conclusion that the morality of the school’s staff was deviating from the wavelengths determined by him. Moreover, his one foot was inching towards the grave. I was also told that there were some domestic noises which were grating against his patriarchal sensibilities. One holy solution for all these was to hand over the school and its enormous campus (nearly 20 acres of land on the outskirts
8 comments
Read more

Machiavelli the Reverend

Let us go today , you and I, through certain miasmic streets. Nothing will be quite clear along our way because this journey is through some delusions and illusions. You will meet people wearing holy robes and talking about morality and virtues. Some of them will claim to be god’s men and some will make taller claims. Some of them are just amorphous. Invisible. But omnipotent. You can feel their power around you. On you. Oppressing you. Stifling you. Reverend Machiavelli is one such oppressive power. You will meet Franz Kafka somewhere along the way. Joseph K’s ghost will pass by. Remember Joseph K who was arrested one fine morning for a crime that nobody knew anything about? Neither Joseph nor the men who arrest him know why Joseph K is arrested. The power that keeps Joseph K under arrest is invisible. He cannot get answers to his valid questions from the visible agents of that power. He cannot explain himself to that power. Finally, he is taken to a quarry outside the town wher
19 comments
Read more

Levin the good shepherd

AI-generated image The lost sheep and its redeemer form a pet motif in Christianity. Jesus portrayed himself as a good shepherd many times. He said that the good shepherd will leave his 99 sheep in order to bring the lost sheep back to the fold. When he finds the lost sheep, the shepherd is happier about that one sheep than about the 99, Jesus claimed. He was speaking metaphorically. The lost sheep is the sinner in Jesus’ parable. Sin is a departure from the ‘right’ way. Angels raise a toast in heaven whenever a sinner returns to the ‘right’ path [Luke 15:10]. A lot of Catholic priests I know carry some sort of a Redeemer complex in their souls. They love the sinner so much that they cannot rest until they make the angels of God run for their cups of joy. I have also been fortunate to have one such priest-friend whom I shall call Levin in this post. He has befriended me right from the year 1976 when I was a blundering adolescent and he was just one year older than me. He possesse
8 comments
Read more

Kailasnath the Paradox

AI-generated illustration It wasn’t easy to discern whether he was a friend or merely an amused onlooker. He was my colleague at the college, though from another department. When my life had entered a slippery slope because of certain unresolved psychological problems, he didn’t choose to shun me as most others did. However, when he did condescend to join me in the college canteen sipping tea and smoking a cigarette, I wasn’t ever sure whether he was befriending me or mocking me. Kailasnath was a bundle of paradoxes. He appeared to be an alpha male, so self-assured and lord of all that he surveyed. Yet if you cared to observe deeply, you would find too many chinks in his armour. Beneath all those domineering words and gestures lay ample signs of frailty. The tall, elegantly slim and precisely erect stature would draw anyone’s attention quickly. Kailasnath was always attractively dressed though never unduly stylish. Everything about him exuded an air of chic confidence. But the wa
9 comments
Read more

Nakulan the Outcast

Nakulan was one of the many tenants of Hevendrea . A professor in the botany department of the North Eastern Hill University, he was a very lovable person. Some sense of inferiority complex that came from his caste status made him scoff the very idea of his lovability. He lived with his wife and three children in one of Heavendrea’s many cottages. When he wanted to have a drink, he would walk over to my hut. We sipped our whiskies and discussed Shillong’s intriguing politics or something of the sort while my cassette player crooned gently in the background. Nakulan was more than ten years my senior by age. He taught a subject which had never aroused my interest at any stage of my life. It made no difference to me whether a leaf was pinnately compound or palmately compound. You don’t need to know about anther and stigma in order to understand a flower. My friend Levin would have ascribed my lack of interest in Nakulan’s subject to my egomania. I always thought that Nakulan lived
16 comments
Read more